Well that's me done!

[littlemonkey]

After what feels like three short years, my baby making days are now officially over. And I'm now sure how I feel about it!

We've been lucky to be blessed with two healthy boys after times when I feared we'd still be TTC one this far down the line. We always agreed our second would be our last, mainly for financial and lifestyle reasons. But during my second pregnancy and especially the week before my youngests arrival I decided that I physically can't do this anymore. I know my son isn't even a week old and I'm full of hormones and recovering from a section, but my body is in pieces and I cant go through all that again!

But at the same time it feels like something that's meant to be such a huge part of a woman's life is over for me now and at such a young age too! I'm officially only the scrap heap now! It all seems to have gone in a blur. No dout I'll soon start wishing if appreciated it more, I'm already looking back through rose tinted glasses at a month ago when I started mat leave.

How does everyone else feel about it? Does anyone else feel strangly disappointed about something they actually want?! I think the thing for me just now is I wasn't even due to have my son until this week so I've not really had the time I'd expected to say bye to pregnancy. Maybe that's why.

 

[H16]

This will be my last too, we havent ruled out a third completely in the unlikely event that we decide we really need another in 5 years time. BUT at this point we both agree we only want the 2 due to financial reasons and me wanting to get my body back to normal and get back on the career ladder before it is too late to get back into it so it is unlikely we will change our minds later on. I do feel a little bit gutted in a way thinking awww this is the last time I will feel a baby move inside me etc. but then on other hand I am sat here with my 1 year old who has decided tonight she wants to throw tantrums for 2 hours in middle of night and only sleep on the sofa or she will scream street down and I think to myself I wont miss times like these lol. Normally I would just let her cry it out by this point as I need sleep but OH got 2 interviews in the morning and daughter just screaming for ages everytime I put her back to bed! Glad it is very rare!

 

[littlemonkey]

God I hadn't even thought about the tantrums H16! Thankfully our eldest has been fab since we've been home from the hospital. But I had plenty of moments when I was pregnant and thought to myself why the bloody hell am I doing this again?!

 

[CDx]

I feel the exact same, ive just had my first but I really don't see me being able to go through the trauma of child birth again. Don't get me wrong I loved my pregnancy and my bump and I love being a mum to my 3 week old but my whole birthing experience I would really worry of history repeating itself and with Arran I'm not sure that's a risk I'm willing to take for another baby if that makes sense?

Like you I thought I had some of my pregnancy left to enjoy when I was quickly booked in for an induction and then I never got to experience labour or be conscious when Arran arrived so I basically went to sleep and my pregnancy was over.

 

[CARNAT22]

Bee was our last baby. My age (35), finances (using savings whilst I am on Mat leave) and space (only have a 2 bed and unlikely to move for the next 5-7 years!!) means its the only sensible option.

I had two good pregnancies and I had a very easy delivery and quick recovery with Bee but I just couldn't face doing it all again.

James has hit the terrible two's, Bee is very demanding and I generally have zero time or energy for anything other than childcare and essential housework. [Although weather permitting we do go out everyday... sometimes just to the park or other days further afield]

I couldn't imagine throwing a 3rd baby into the mix? I already feel split in half.

I probably make it sound really grim, and I am of course touching upon the negatives here. The rewards vastly outweigh the downsides BUT I won't be going through it again.

Need to be careful [not that there is ANY time for sex] as both SIL's have had 'happy surprises' - one fell pregnant 4 months post partum and the other 6 months post partum.

X

 

[Ella1979]

My baby making days are well and truly over now too. And I'm over the moon about it! I don't miss being pregnant one bit. I had a traumatic experience with my first, much better experience with my second (although got hypertension post-delivery, so more bp meds), but there's no way I'd consider having any more. I'm 36, my OH is 48 and we really struggle on the odd occasion that we're up in the night sorting either of them out. Also, my 3 year old still has tantrums and my 17 month old has just started them and I can't imagine adding a newborn into the mix! It's really hard work at the moment and I'm totally exhausted all the time. It's difficult organising the two of them for nursery the two days I go to work, although once I'm at work it's nice to have a rest!

 

[Rooster30]

I'm done too! I'm just so pleased that i'll never have to be pregnant again! Pregnancy just did not agree with me! Feeling anxious about what is ahead though. So far my daughter is being a very good little girl, but i'm not expecting it to last!

 

[kumber]

I think we will be done after this pg too, all being well. Atm it's hard to get my head around this being it, it's quite hard for me to let go of the fact there will be no more pgs and I'm only 24! Part of me feels such relief, having two so close together has really taken it out of me and my body just feels like it's had enough but I'm also gutted as I love the feeling of being able to produce children. I feel very blessed as I know a few women personally who cannot do this, never mind some of the ladies on the forum. I sort of feel like I should make the most of it and carry on but financially it's just not viable for another few years.

We are hoping to adopt in the future but that is a long time away and not 100% definite so I don't feel like I can hold on to it iykwim?

I don't know how I will feel once this pg is over but my ramblings were supposed to highlight that you're not alone in feeling the way you do! I feel very sad about the whole thing and, even though I know my body needs to stop and our finances need a break, my heart just isn't in the decision at all.

 

[Goat]

I kind of wish I felt like this! My eldest is 2yrs 3 months and youngest is 6 months and I'm already getting broody. Initially when I was childless and naive I wanted 4!! And actually if my pregnancies had been straight forward I might still want 4 but I think I'll stick at 3. I know Ive got one more baby left to have and there's no talking me out of that, I'm even prepared to go through the hellish newborn days and c section recovery all over again. So I kind of wish I felt like my time was done but I can feel the baby itch surfacing again.

 

[Goat]

Oh and congrats Littlemonkey on your new little baby boy!xx

 

[littlemonkey]

I feel the exact same, ive just had my first but I really don't see me being able to go through the trauma of child birth again. Don't get me wrong I loved my pregnancy and my bump and I love being a mum to my 3 week old but my whole birthing experience I would really worry of history repeating itself and with Arran I'm not sure that's a risk I'm willing to take for another baby if that makes sense?

Like you I thought I had some of my pregnancy left to enjoy when I was quickly booked in for an induction and then I never got to experience labour or be conscious when Arran arrived so I basically went to sleep and my pregnancy was over.

CdX I remember reading what happened on another thread and I must admit your experience was much worse than anything I had faced with either pregnancy! I feel rather shallow now complaining about my face after this pregnancy when in reality my son and I were never in that kind of danger! I know it doesn't compare at all, but I found it difficult after my first baby, who was an emergency section and with lots of help and support we agreed to try again. Only you will know how you feel, but I just wanted to offer some reassurance that it does get better and easier with time and support.

 

[littlemonkey]

Oh and congrats Littlemonkey on your new little baby boy!xx

Thanks. It's going very well which is nice because I felt like a bag of crap at this point with my first.

It's nice to read every one elses thoughts on this. So many of you are in a similar boat to us. I'm just turned 35, we have a two bedroom and are in no position to move. Plus I got put at risk of redundancy just before going on maternity, so I don't even have a job technically right now! Another child would be madness! Then physically I know OH and I couldn't manage with more than two. Getting up this morning the two boys both woke up at the same time one crying and the other shouting, what would we do when there's another?! And this is at 5.30 am BTW!!!!

But then I think stuff like I'll never have a daughter. And I know my OH is more upset about that than I am too. It just doesn't make any sense on my mind just now! Give me a month or two of sleepless nights and my son being a nightmare throwing tantrums and I know I'll happily be saying never again!!!!

 

[CDx]

CdX I remember reading what happened on another thread and I must admit your experience was much worse than anything I had faced with either pregnancy! I feel rather shallow now complaining about my face after this pregnancy when in reality my son and I were never in that kind of danger! I know it doesn't compare at all, but I found it difficult after my first baby, who was an emergency section and with lots of help and support we agreed to try again. Only you will know how you feel, but I just wanted to offer some reassurance that it does get better and easier with time and support.

I guess the only blessing was I didn't know any different and it was all over with in 46 minutes so I didn't have time to panic. He's perfect and enjoys his sleep as much as me so we can forgive him of all the drama if he keeps this up x

 

[Dotty_woman]

I wish I felt like this. I'm 44 and my baby making days should be well over. But with an 18 month old my hormones are raging. Either that or it's the menopause! xxx

 

[littlemonkey]

I wish I felt like this. I'm 44 and my baby making days should be well over. But with an 18 month old my hormones are raging. Either that or it's the menopause! xxx

I'm still feeling a bit said about not being pregnant again. I really missed my bump and my son kicking me yesterday and it made me sad.

Dotty I've seen your previous threads and know how difficult you've found things. It must be even harder when it's something you still want. At least in theory I've decided myself I don't want anymore even if I'm upset about it still!!