I am totally new to this whole thing so forgive me if I seem confusing. I am a single 33 y/o woman who is TTC on my own. I have chosen to use a sperm donor. I have been inseminated twice. My first time didn't work and had to do it again. I was totally and completely heartbroken when AF arrived after first insemination. I just couldn't imagine not getting PG. I kept telling myself that "my little soldiers" didn't have to do much marching...all they had to do was dive bomb in and it would work, but apparently it wasn't all that easy. The first insemination was with out a doubt the most painful thing I have ever been through. When I had the second one done my dr (male) was out of the office so another physician (female) did it for me. At first I wasn't too crazy about having a woman in my "private area", but I was ovulating and decided that I would let the devil himself do it if it meant me getting pregnant. And I must admit that when the female physician inseminated me it was not even a tenth as painful as the first time. I guess she has a cervix and knows to be more gentle. I am now seriously considering changing drs., but I have had the same one since I was 16, so I am not sure what to do now. My next AF is not due for six more days, but the anticipation is KILLING me. Two days ago I cramped all day long. Could that have been implantation cramping?
I want a child so bad. I have been dreaming the craziest things for the last three months or so. My mom says it is because of everything that I have been going through lately. Last night I dreamed that I had a baby and was trying to breast feed it and it hurt so bad....I looked down and my nipple was bleeding and only hanging on by a thread. I woke up right after that. Last week I had a dream that I was visiting my dad (who passed away two years ago this month) and my step mom. They had a friend who had a year old child and had just given birth to another baby and she gave it to me........she told me there was something wrong with it though....IT HAD A TAIL!!!!!!!!, it also had a full set of teeth and could talk and was only one day old!!!!! Now tell me that isn't weird?!?! I wish I could interpret my dreams....then again maybe not.
I am sorry to have rattled on and on, but it is just so hard to talk to the people in my life without them all looking at me like I am losing my ever loving mind. Has anyone else out there been having the "weird dream syndrome"?
I just want to be some one's Mommy so bad it literally hurts sometimes.
Hello everyone. Did a test this morning and BFN! I'm only a day late so trying not to get too down. If AF isnt here in a few days will test again. Cant help feeling a bit down hearted though.
