Update on situation

[Leannef88]

Hi all!

Me and my OH had the baby talk again last night. He knows I want it more than anything right now in my life. He is twenty years older than me, I am 26 so he knows we dont have years to sit and think about it. He has said he feels reluctant to have a baby but doesnt know why. He is also more worried about me not going back to work after maternity leave as he doesnt want to be the sole provider even though he earns amazing money.

i feel no better for the chat and so desperately unhappy and angry. I dont want to force him to have children but at the same time I dont want to be childless. He has said he will think about it and how he really feels and will bring the subject up next which I know will be never.

It just feels like let down after let down so far this year. He had to work on my bday and this morning tells me he has to work overnight elsewhere on our 3rd year anniversary (not a wedding anniversary just a date got together)

I feel I am over reacting a bit but its making me doubt our relationship.

please help if you can share some wisdom!

Xxxxx

 

[Eryinera]

Well, noone can really tell you what to do with your relationship but if things are heading in the wrong direction it may be better to tell him that you are starting to doubt things and that having a child is really important to you, I know i couldn't be with someone who wouldn't want kids fortunately I'm not in that situation.

However that being said.... I'm in a foul mood this morning and you have been with this man for considerable time there has to be some reason for that. Just don;t rush into any big decisions until you have thought long and hard what is best for you hun.

 

[twinkletoes220]

I agree with the other poster. I think it would be very difficult to be with someone if they didn't want the same things! You need to think long and hard about where it is going and he can't just leave you hanging on waiting for him to make a decision.

I couldn't be with someone who didn't want children or didn't want to get married,so it is always something I have discussed at the start of my relationships. It's hard decision to make,but something you need to really consider...does he really not want children? Or is he just stalling because he's not quite ready? Which is a possibility. This is a conversation you need to have sooner rather than later.

Good luck huni xxx

 

[Leannef88]

Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it. It is such a touchy subject. I have managed to bring the decision day forward to February so will be able to bring it up again with him then. He has also read my maternity booklet from work so I guess that is a positive start. Fingers crossed we can agree on a date fairly soon when I can stop taking the pill and just go with the flow and see what happens! xxx