Hello!
I do not know how to decide in my situation and that's why I am writing here to ask for your help!
I just found that I am 5 weeks pregnant. I am 31 and my boyfriend is 31 too. We have known each other for almost 2 years but started dating and living together for 8 months now. We met and live in Sweden.
We had occasional fights from time to time since we started living together. We had to move the flats and some times were very stressful at work, so even if I had negative feelings about our relationship I thought that things will be better once we settle down. Also, we are coming from different cultures and countries and I thought that it will take some time for us to get used and understand each other.
My boyfriend has a 10 year old son already living in another country whom he helps financially and who visits him here. It was an unplanned pregnancy for him at that time too.
Before we started dating I let him know what exactly I want in the relationship, that I want to have a family and a baby. He said he wanted the same things and that he really wanted to be with me.
Now when I found out that I am pregnant, he says he does not want that baby, that he is not stable financially and that he does not know if he could stay in his job or has to leave because his contract expires in December. I fully understand him but I am trying to see things positively. My parents and my sister encouraged me and said that they could help in critical moments. My financial situation is better as my boyfriend has to pay parental support for his son and I have more spare money. So I told him not to be worried about money...that if we love each other, we will manage and being together is easier than raising a child alone. However, since we found out, he wanted me to make an abortion and blamed me for being childish and not understanding the difficult situation. He does not talk to me and comes home late. I am scared. I do not want to make an abortion as I always wanted to be a mother, but I am scared that he leaves and I will raise a child alone, and the child will not have a support from her/his dad. I am also scared that if he stays, we will not get along and our family will suffer too. He said to me that he does not know how to tell this to his son. He said that he will hate him for having another child.
Sometimes my boyfriend comes home late after parties at 2am or 5am and if it happens when I am pregnant I will be devastated and I am scared how it will influence the child. I do not want to fight with him during pregnancy. So now he just does not talk to me as if keeping a child is my 'mistake' and I am ruining his life.
I am sorry if I write a bit long and messy, but I do not know what to do and if you experienced anything similar, I would appreciate your feedback!
Thank you!
I do not know how to decide in my situation and that's why I am writing here to ask for your help!
I just found that I am 5 weeks pregnant. I am 31 and my boyfriend is 31 too. We have known each other for almost 2 years but started dating and living together for 8 months now. We met and live in Sweden.
We had occasional fights from time to time since we started living together. We had to move the flats and some times were very stressful at work, so even if I had negative feelings about our relationship I thought that things will be better once we settle down. Also, we are coming from different cultures and countries and I thought that it will take some time for us to get used and understand each other.
My boyfriend has a 10 year old son already living in another country whom he helps financially and who visits him here. It was an unplanned pregnancy for him at that time too.
Before we started dating I let him know what exactly I want in the relationship, that I want to have a family and a baby. He said he wanted the same things and that he really wanted to be with me.
Now when I found out that I am pregnant, he says he does not want that baby, that he is not stable financially and that he does not know if he could stay in his job or has to leave because his contract expires in December. I fully understand him but I am trying to see things positively. My parents and my sister encouraged me and said that they could help in critical moments. My financial situation is better as my boyfriend has to pay parental support for his son and I have more spare money. So I told him not to be worried about money...that if we love each other, we will manage and being together is easier than raising a child alone. However, since we found out, he wanted me to make an abortion and blamed me for being childish and not understanding the difficult situation. He does not talk to me and comes home late. I am scared. I do not want to make an abortion as I always wanted to be a mother, but I am scared that he leaves and I will raise a child alone, and the child will not have a support from her/his dad. I am also scared that if he stays, we will not get along and our family will suffer too. He said to me that he does not know how to tell this to his son. He said that he will hate him for having another child.
Sometimes my boyfriend comes home late after parties at 2am or 5am and if it happens when I am pregnant I will be devastated and I am scared how it will influence the child. I do not want to fight with him during pregnancy. So now he just does not talk to me as if keeping a child is my 'mistake' and I am ruining his life.
I am sorry if I write a bit long and messy, but I do not know what to do and if you experienced anything similar, I would appreciate your feedback!
Thank you!