moonshine27
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- Aug 22, 2012
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hi ladies,
i'm new to this site, just need to talk people understand me.
I had a miscarrige about a month a go, I was pregnant with twins bpy/girl, i got 21 weeks, everything before that was fine, the morning sickness was going, i felt amazing, i was so excited and happy that i couldn't wish for anything more, i felt so much love in my heart, i used to talk to my twins and call them ''mummy's little monkeys'', i could feel them moving around, it was so profound to think i had 3 hearts beating inside, i've never loved anything as much as i loved my babies, then i had my 20 week scan everything was fine, they were growing, no abnormalties, everytime i went to a scan i used to well up with tears of joy, the the next day about 4pm i started getting pains coming and going, i try to ignore it and thought it would go away but it didn't my boyfriend came back from work about 7pm and i told time i keep getting theses pains and they keep coming and going and he said try to relax and it'll go away and i said i've never felt so much pain in my life and then he said you're over egging it. i had arranged to meet my friend that night, she was running late but i thought i'd still meet her cause she's had a kid, she should be able to tell me if this is normal pain or not, and my boyfriend was stressing me out more cause he wouldn't believe that i was in pain so i went on the bus and the last thing my boyfriend said was please don't make you friend sit will you in a&e all night, yh he can be just an insentive jerk sometimes lol so i meet my friend at 9pm and she said you okay and i told her and she said i'll give you some painkiller and it's just growing pains, so we went to her flat and the pains were getting worst, even after i took the painkillers, she kept saying no to panick and that it would go away, so i just ignored it, she keep talk about stuff and then about 11pm i felt like i needed to pee so i thought i'd wait for her to finish what she was saying then go to the toilet, as i got up, my pants were wet and i went to the toilet and i wiped and there was blood, and she was still telling me not panick and it really pissed me off, so i asked her to called call an ambulance and she did, they came and took me to the hospital i was with cause of my notes, which took ages, and the pain was getting worst, they gave me gas and air. when i got to the hospital, the nurse told me my cervix was full dialated and they was nothing they could get me to stop labour, i said no no please it's too early, i begged god to help. i was in so much agony, then my little boy sean was born at 4.23am, he came out easly, the nurse cleaned him up and said because it's before 24 they can't save the babies, so he took one breath and died, she said if i wanted to see him, i wasn't sure, then i looked at him and he was the spiting image of my boyfriend, same lips, face, feet and hands, i cried and said i'm so sorry, then i got on the bed and my little girl was coming, she came out with her arm first and her head and shoulders were stuck, she took ages, my little girl siobhan was born at 7.45am, she was already dead. i fell asleep and woke up crying and confused. the next day i left and walk to the train station and went home, the next week was a blur and i screamed and cried so much, i know if i had gone to the hospital earlyer they might have still not been able to stop it but they could have tried and i didn't feel i was supported properly, it was like dumb and dumber that night lol i feel anger at the hospital for not trying to save babies before 24 weeks and now they want me to register my son's death but not my daughters cause he was showing signs of life, how can they not be viable before 24 weeks ands still expect you to register the death, they were twins and it feels wrong to register one and not the other. this is the worst pain i have ever felt in my life, my family and friends have tried to be supportive but i feel like i'm being patorniozed and they don't know how it feels so how can they time me its gonna be okay. i feel like my heart in in pieces and i'm trying to be strong, it just hurts so bad. please if theres anything that helps? please let me know. thank you. xxxxx
i'm new to this site, just need to talk people understand me.
I had a miscarrige about a month a go, I was pregnant with twins bpy/girl, i got 21 weeks, everything before that was fine, the morning sickness was going, i felt amazing, i was so excited and happy that i couldn't wish for anything more, i felt so much love in my heart, i used to talk to my twins and call them ''mummy's little monkeys'', i could feel them moving around, it was so profound to think i had 3 hearts beating inside, i've never loved anything as much as i loved my babies, then i had my 20 week scan everything was fine, they were growing, no abnormalties, everytime i went to a scan i used to well up with tears of joy, the the next day about 4pm i started getting pains coming and going, i try to ignore it and thought it would go away but it didn't my boyfriend came back from work about 7pm and i told time i keep getting theses pains and they keep coming and going and he said try to relax and it'll go away and i said i've never felt so much pain in my life and then he said you're over egging it. i had arranged to meet my friend that night, she was running late but i thought i'd still meet her cause she's had a kid, she should be able to tell me if this is normal pain or not, and my boyfriend was stressing me out more cause he wouldn't believe that i was in pain so i went on the bus and the last thing my boyfriend said was please don't make you friend sit will you in a&e all night, yh he can be just an insentive jerk sometimes lol so i meet my friend at 9pm and she said you okay and i told her and she said i'll give you some painkiller and it's just growing pains, so we went to her flat and the pains were getting worst, even after i took the painkillers, she kept saying no to panick and that it would go away, so i just ignored it, she keep talk about stuff and then about 11pm i felt like i needed to pee so i thought i'd wait for her to finish what she was saying then go to the toilet, as i got up, my pants were wet and i went to the toilet and i wiped and there was blood, and she was still telling me not panick and it really pissed me off, so i asked her to called call an ambulance and she did, they came and took me to the hospital i was with cause of my notes, which took ages, and the pain was getting worst, they gave me gas and air. when i got to the hospital, the nurse told me my cervix was full dialated and they was nothing they could get me to stop labour, i said no no please it's too early, i begged god to help. i was in so much agony, then my little boy sean was born at 4.23am, he came out easly, the nurse cleaned him up and said because it's before 24 they can't save the babies, so he took one breath and died, she said if i wanted to see him, i wasn't sure, then i looked at him and he was the spiting image of my boyfriend, same lips, face, feet and hands, i cried and said i'm so sorry, then i got on the bed and my little girl was coming, she came out with her arm first and her head and shoulders were stuck, she took ages, my little girl siobhan was born at 7.45am, she was already dead. i fell asleep and woke up crying and confused. the next day i left and walk to the train station and went home, the next week was a blur and i screamed and cried so much, i know if i had gone to the hospital earlyer they might have still not been able to stop it but they could have tried and i didn't feel i was supported properly, it was like dumb and dumber that night lol i feel anger at the hospital for not trying to save babies before 24 weeks and now they want me to register my son's death but not my daughters cause he was showing signs of life, how can they not be viable before 24 weeks ands still expect you to register the death, they were twins and it feels wrong to register one and not the other. this is the worst pain i have ever felt in my life, my family and friends have tried to be supportive but i feel like i'm being patorniozed and they don't know how it feels so how can they time me its gonna be okay. i feel like my heart in in pieces and i'm trying to be strong, it just hurts so bad. please if theres anything that helps? please let me know. thank you. xxxxx
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