toddler bites me when he cant get his own way, what can i do

[Olliesmammy]

When he is good, he's an angel. But if I take him somewhere nice, and he gets excited he starts getting naughty. Like today, at soft play he took his socks off and was climbing the slide. I picked his socks up, and we went to go around the safe way together. I knelt on the floor and sat him on my lap to put his socks on, he started screaming and bite my arm. I picked him up and took him home. There was no argument, he obeyed because he understood why we were going home. But I am so disspointed in him. this seems to be turning into a trend. I feel like i've failed as a mum. I do disapline him, but maybe I spoil him by being too loving.
Should I start smacking him, or bite him back? its usually in public and I couldn't imagine biting him as it seems so animal like.
I put him to bed early because mainly I don't want to be around him at the moment because he has really annoyed me today. I want my nice little polite boy back! can any1 advise me? sob.

 

[mary70]

hi hun i know its hard but maybe you should have kept him there and stopped him from playing for a while adn just made him watch, most mothers will understand and for those that dont ignore them,he would prob have learnt more by being made to watch and not play than by being taken away

 

[Olliesmammy]

i was thinking, my dad had bought him a handful of jelly beans from a 20p machine not long b4 this happened. do u think this might have made him go hyper? we were leaving at 5pm anyway, and we left about 5 mins early, but i told him we were leaving because of what he did. he went thro this stage b4, and stopped, but seems to have started again. his grandparents go to spain for months on end and they left around the time he started playing up. do u think this may have s.thing to do with it aswell?. they were like, by ollie see u in july.

 

[mary70]

it could be hun but the jelly beans def, hannah is bad after coke and anything with colours in i wont even attempt smarties pm me hun if you wnat to chat and i will give you my msn addy

 

[budge]

When he is good, he's an angel. But if I take him somewhere nice, and he gets excited he starts getting naughty. Like today, at soft play he took his socks off and was climbing the slide. I picked his socks up, and we went to go around the safe way together. I knelt on the floor and sat him on my lap to put his socks on, he started screaming and bite my arm. I picked him up and took him home. There was no argument, he obeyed because he understood why we were going home. But I am so disspointed in him. this seems to be turning into a trend. I feel like i've failed as a mum. I do disapline him, but maybe I spoil him by being too loving.
Should I start smacking him, or bite him back? its usually in public and I couldn't imagine biting him as it seems so animal like.
I put him to bed early because mainly I don't want to be around him at the moment because he has really annoyed me today. I want my nice little polite boy back! can any1 advise me? sob.

i wouldn't bite him back.
But next time he bites you i would strike fear into him by raising your voice and telling him that that was naughty and it hurt mummy and you're cross with him. Then leave him and go and do something. He will most probably sit and sulk whilst thinking it all over in his head
Let him come to you and when he does tell him to say sorry for biting you.

My second daughter used to bite my eldest daughter and i used to do this and it worked for me.

My mum used to say i should bite her back but i didn't like to do that. Just raising your voice a little to show him who is in charge will do the trick.

 

[gingerpig]

My cousin's little boy has an allergic reaction to the red colouring found in some sweet so I would reckon it's possible that could play a part as well. Barty is usually really well mannered but was really badly behaved after red smarites. I think if you bite him back its really confusing, he could learn then that it's ok for him to be bitten as punishment, not that it's wrong if he see's you doing it. Raising your voice and taking him away def good things to do!

 

[mrs_tommo22]

My nephew is a sweet kid, but was a little ******* over the weekend, and we have come to the conclusion its crap cheap sweets, coke and drinks wqith a high voloume of sugar.

 

[Tiny Sue]

I definitely wouldn't bite him back! Biting is not an acceptable behaviour. If you don't want him to do it then don't do it yourself! My daughter went through a phase where she used to pinch me, really hard, on the breast and other places where it really hurt. It didn't really happen while I was out, but if she did it while at home, I told her that she hurt Mammy, and made Mammy sad. If OH was there, I brought him into the conversation and then put her on the ground and walked away from her and did something else that was not rewarding her by picking her up. Even NEGATIVE attention can be a reward at times for bad behaviour.

As for smacking him, I would only do it straight away and only on the back of the hand, and perhaps in this case it's only as a last resort after he's had warnings and did it again and again. It's showing him that you can only solve a problem by smacking him, which will lead him to try the same by hitting out at others. It's very easy to do this, I've done it myself!

I'm having a hard time with my girl at the moment because she got spoiled while she was sick recently and now she's screaming and crying again when we put her down at night and when I don't pick her up during the day. I let her cry. In the long run, though it wrenches me inside, it's better. She's got to learn that I won't be her soother.

Sweets are terrible, particularly smarties (no artificial colours my eye). I have made it clear with all my friends and with my and OH parents that Naomi is a sweet free child. She has a little chocolate on special occasions but I've noticed that even that keeps her awake.

Another thing I've noticed is that she will pick up behaviours like that at the creche or babysitter's OR at her cousins' or friends' places. In our case there's a little guy at our creche who scratches and another one who kisses, openmouthed, on the lips. I've asked for her not to be with these children as a) she could catch anything and b) she's learning the undesirable behaviour.

Hope this helps hun. You're not alone! It's really hard when baby is crying, you've just punished him and you are feeling like a rat! I've been there.

Sue