agenttinkerbel
Member
- Joined
- May 25, 2012
- Messages
- 5
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HI, I have joined today to simply share a little hope.
I was told at 24 I would never have children due to PCO and lived with it, current boyfriend at the time was ok at first but that and other issues saw us split when i was 28.
I resigned myself to a career and 3 holidays a year and sobbed my socks off as each of my friends called to say they were expecting, always a brave face at the time then blubbering baffoon once home.
in 2000 aged 29 I met my husband and in 2002 he proposed I jokingly warned all my bridesmaids not to get pregnant in the next year as our wedding was set midsummers day 2003 and ofcourse it wasnt going to happen to me, in fact I didnt want it to hapen now I was planning a fantastic wedding. I was relying on the fact that I couldnt have children and never used contrception since I was about 23 years old So imagine my shock aged 31 when i found I was pregnant. and she was due 2 weeks after the wedding date. needless to say, all plans were changed and she was born july 11th. we wed in September when she was 8 weeks.
since 2003 we have tried naturally ( we have looked into adoption [pathetic issues over which councils isnt too close and which refuse to travel] another story..) in 2010 we breifly got involved with the fertility clinic, I went for my investigation but i knew it would be more of the same ( proding poking) and a much bigger fear of becoming obsessive about it all, > heart break at every sign of a period would wear me down and so we made the descision to stop the fertility route. As sad as it was I thought I have one child and a depressed mother is no good to her so I counted my blessings and we carried on merrily. I obviously tried manipulating when I thought I was fertile ( who knows when you have 3 to 8 periods a year) .
I lived in hope and I have seriously bought my own body weight in pregnancy tests but I always said when I hit 40 thats it !
I turned 40 last year, and this new years eve was awful, I had no new years hope. the past 9 years have been a thought and prayer that "maybe this year will get pregnant.." so new years 2012 saw me sobbing in the kitchen cancelling all plans of celebration and as big ben chimed I kissed good bye to all my hopes and dreams of having another baby, and the brother or sister my little girl has always asked for.
(
In March I went to hospital as my periods have become very regular and had become very painful, DR thought it was endometriosis, so had a scan and they said to come back in 6 weeks as they had found a clot. I was worried sick, and even contemplated having it all wipped out as its no use anyway !
I went back April 19th and they simply gave me the all clear.
since then I had sore boobs , crying at everything, all the signs i have had so many times before and it usually follows that I buy yet another test for it to say no and start a period 2 days later anyway, I resisted until WED 23rd and did a test
I got 2 stripes ,, so I did the other one the next morning and that said pregnant too.....! I am 41 next month and now worried sick about the complications due to my age, my first drs appointment is Tuesday.
My reason for posting all this is because over the past 9 years I have read all mothers efforts and challenges on various forums about trying to get pregnant and I have never actually posted anything but they have been a source of encouragement for me.
and you may want to know have I done anything different?, in the past month i started to do Zumba on the wii with my little girl for a giggle , and i have fallen in love with Chia tea. drunk 2 cups aday...!
I wonder .....?
please dont give up , and as I have learnt the minute you take the pressure off yourself and settle for what you have, it seems to happen.
lots of love
me and a weee bump
I was told at 24 I would never have children due to PCO and lived with it, current boyfriend at the time was ok at first but that and other issues saw us split when i was 28.
I resigned myself to a career and 3 holidays a year and sobbed my socks off as each of my friends called to say they were expecting, always a brave face at the time then blubbering baffoon once home.
in 2000 aged 29 I met my husband and in 2002 he proposed I jokingly warned all my bridesmaids not to get pregnant in the next year as our wedding was set midsummers day 2003 and ofcourse it wasnt going to happen to me, in fact I didnt want it to hapen now I was planning a fantastic wedding. I was relying on the fact that I couldnt have children and never used contrception since I was about 23 years old So imagine my shock aged 31 when i found I was pregnant. and she was due 2 weeks after the wedding date. needless to say, all plans were changed and she was born july 11th. we wed in September when she was 8 weeks.
since 2003 we have tried naturally ( we have looked into adoption [pathetic issues over which councils isnt too close and which refuse to travel] another story..) in 2010 we breifly got involved with the fertility clinic, I went for my investigation but i knew it would be more of the same ( proding poking) and a much bigger fear of becoming obsessive about it all, > heart break at every sign of a period would wear me down and so we made the descision to stop the fertility route. As sad as it was I thought I have one child and a depressed mother is no good to her so I counted my blessings and we carried on merrily. I obviously tried manipulating when I thought I was fertile ( who knows when you have 3 to 8 periods a year) .
I lived in hope and I have seriously bought my own body weight in pregnancy tests but I always said when I hit 40 thats it !
I turned 40 last year, and this new years eve was awful, I had no new years hope. the past 9 years have been a thought and prayer that "maybe this year will get pregnant.." so new years 2012 saw me sobbing in the kitchen cancelling all plans of celebration and as big ben chimed I kissed good bye to all my hopes and dreams of having another baby, and the brother or sister my little girl has always asked for.
(In March I went to hospital as my periods have become very regular and had become very painful, DR thought it was endometriosis, so had a scan and they said to come back in 6 weeks as they had found a clot. I was worried sick, and even contemplated having it all wipped out as its no use anyway !
I went back April 19th and they simply gave me the all clear.
since then I had sore boobs , crying at everything, all the signs i have had so many times before and it usually follows that I buy yet another test for it to say no and start a period 2 days later anyway, I resisted until WED 23rd and did a test
I got 2 stripes ,, so I did the other one the next morning and that said pregnant too.....! I am 41 next month and now worried sick about the complications due to my age, my first drs appointment is Tuesday.
My reason for posting all this is because over the past 9 years I have read all mothers efforts and challenges on various forums about trying to get pregnant and I have never actually posted anything but they have been a source of encouragement for me.
and you may want to know have I done anything different?, in the past month i started to do Zumba on the wii with my little girl for a giggle , and i have fallen in love with Chia tea. drunk 2 cups aday...!
I wonder .....?
please dont give up , and as I have learnt the minute you take the pressure off yourself and settle for what you have, it seems to happen.
lots of love
me and a weee bump
