team green wibble

[GBLiz]

I really dont mind what sex the baby is, and a surprise is fine by me....my OH also says he wants a surprise....but i KNOW he wants a boy!!! Yesterday he got a text from a mate whose wife had just had her second baby....a girl..and his response was 'Another girl!! UNLUCKY!! We're not having a girl'

when i question him he says of course he doesnt mind if we have a girl, but that reaction yesterday worried me, i dont know if we should find out so he can get his head around it if we are expecting a girl.

im gonna talk to him about it but i know he'll just say he will be fine its a girl....just cos, what else can he say really!!!

 

[lisa&alex]

well if you find out or wait wont change the babys sex..

sounds like perhaps your getting a little impatient? and want to find out? lol..

any excuse is a good excuse..

 

[mrsbrickelltobe]

hell be over the moon whatever you have im sure

i have to say tho, if i was his friend/his friends wife i wouldnt be happy with that message, another girl, unlucky!!
im sure they dont feel unlucky to be blessed with another girl.

 

[maybebaby]

OH desperately wanted a boy when I was pregnant, which is actually one of the main reasons I DIDN'T want to find out the sex. If you find out it's a girl now your OH may feel a bit disappointed but when that baby comes out & he cuddles him or her for the first time it really won't matter what the sex is! It's such an incredible feeling looking into your baby's eyes for the first time you (and he) wouln't care if it had a tail let alone the 'wrong' genitalia!

 

[GBLiz]

im not impatient to find out at all. In fact i was worried we might accidentally see the gender when we have the scan. but i dont want to go through this pregnancy feeling like , at the end of it hemight be disappointed. If he knew he wasnt getting a boy he would come around to the idea...but i dont want to hand him a baby girl , with crazy post natal horones, and feel like he's gutted even for a second

 

[lisa&alex]

well i cant understand that personally.. coz i feel completly the other way around. we already have a girl and if i had 20 weeks to get used to the idea of another girl i think i wouldnt deal with it as well as after the birth finding out its a girl.. i think i will be ok at the birth but think more what ifs at 20 weeks to go.

but there we go..each to their own and you have to do whats right for you.. im glad my husbands not bothered what we have.. i find it a little sad for men to be completly gender specidic (not saying yours is) but some men are.. and they are really really dissapointed if the child turns out to be not what they want.. quite shallow actually.

alex jokes around with charlotte saying tummy monkeys a boy all the time coz she really wants it to be a girl.. but he is just joking and he doesnt really mind..

 

[Squiglet]

Unfortunately my ex wanted a boy... but we weren't allowed to know the sex until birth.. hospital policy.. So when she popped out a girl.. i remember his exact words.. i'm a bit disappointed but I suppose it's ok.. and that was straight after I had given birth..

well he didn't bother with her after that... unless it was a male orientated activity.. like going to the park and feeding the squirrels or camping.. and well he never bothers with her now.

I always wished that we had known while I was pregnant so I could have judged his reaction, which is why I was so adamant this time round I would find out whether it was a girl or a boy.. But my ex was kinda a t*sser neway..

My DH said he never cared and considering it was a boy then now a girl, both ways he has never been happier.. But my own personal experience scarred that for me..

If you know your OH, and you know he loves you and loves the baby, you are his priority in life.. then it shouldn't be any problem what sex the baby is.. He might have preferences, as most dads want a little boy to kick a foot ball round with, but its always daddy's little princess.. and he will be her hero, where his son will have batman, superman etc as his hero.

I knew my ex didn't really love me and I certainly wasn't a priority in his life, way back when I was just pregnant but I was young and wanted to make it work for the baby so I stayed...

You need to ask yourself where you stand in your relationship, if you feel that knowing the sex might be a big thing... because love always conquers all in these things..

 

[kellysomer]

I was thinking of posting about this same sort of topic actually. When i was pregnant with Isla i had to find out the sex to come to terms with it if she was a boy as i was desperate for a girl. I figured i had 20 weeks to get excited about a boy rather than risk PND if she was the wrong sex. Luckily for me i got what i wanted and was sooo happy. I still can't beleive i was so evil as to want a girl so bad but at the time thats the way i felt, i still feel guilty over it but thank that i got the little girl i so desperatly wanted.

This time i felt the same way that i wanted a particular sex but thins time i didnt get my wish. I am selfish and know i deserve you to slate me but again i cant help the way i feel. This is the main reason that despite the sonographer telling us the sex without asking us first i feel unable to tell people what sex the baby was, hence i'm staying team green. I didnt want loads of well done on your blue bundle/ pink bundle posts, but wanted to deal with it in my own way. I am now feeling better about it all and looking towards meeting my baby.

I hate myself for wanting a particular sex but feel that the best way is to find out then you find yourself bonding and getting used to the idea and then by the time their born you love the idea.

 

[Squiglet]

I felt the same this time Kelly.. I really wanted a girl... only because I knew what to expect and it would be cheaper I knew... I know its selfish as so many people would be happy with just a baby... regardless.. but I had seen so many little boys Tia's age and OMG they were just little nightmares, and I didn't know how I would cope with one..

I had convinced myself, that because of my selfishness I would be having a boy... so when the sonographer said... yep its a little boy.. I was already resigned to the fact... I felt a bit sad... but over the course of the following weeks I grew used to it.. then started to feel excited... and then happy because it meant I wouldn't have the morning hair brushing issue... or the hissy fits girls do... SO when at the next scan they said.. oops no... it's a little girl... I felt really odd.. tbh.. really depressed... but I don't know why... I'd gotten used to the idea of having a boy...

Now I'm back to seeing the positive side of having a girl (ie I already have all the baby clothes I need.. and I think Father Christmas will be bringing some second hand toys next xmas... )...

I think for me its was the not knowing.. I hate not knowing things..

 

[GBLiz]

Unfortunately my ex wanted a boy... but we weren't allowed to know the sex until birth.. hospital policy.. So when she popped out a girl.. i remember his exact words.. i'm a bit disappointed but I suppose it's ok.. and that was straight after I had given birth..
..

thats exactly what im worried about feeling he's thinking, even if he wouldnt say it (which he wouldnt)..im glad some of you understand why im thinking it might be better to know sooner rather than later

i spoke with my OH last night because I can understand why hes expecting and hoping for a boy, he's been brought up all boys and you kind of expect what you know...same as i've been brought up all girls and kind of expectd and hoped for a girl. Its only cos he wants a boy i started thinking about good points about having a boy and ive come around so far now that i dont mind either way and now id almost prefer a boy too!

Thats how i know knowing the sex can help change your thinking

he apologised about saying that about his mates 2 girls, he said its the stupid remnants of asian mentality in his culture where boys are far more celebrated. I said he needs to start thinking about good things about having a girl (like i had to start being open to having a boy) and he said he has, she'd be daddys little princess (like one of you said)

he also said now that he DOES want to find out the sex, (before i brought up finding out) he said he couldnt bear to be there faced with the chance of finding out more about our baby, and turning down the chance ..so we might after all. i dont know cos im still not sure i want to know myself but i do whatever makes him happy cos my love for him is stronger than my opinion on the finding out/not finding out debate

 

[gemmap27]

My OH jokes about saying if its a girl we are having it adopted - He doesnt mean it! He will be a great dad and love the baby regardless of the sex! He has neices and nephews and places with them equally! I know he would love a boy, but he wouldnt be upset if its a girl! Its nature and there is nothing you can do about it!

 

[gemmap27]

Sorry should have put - PLAYS with them equally!

 

[girlygirl]

I totally understand what you are thinking/feeling.

My hubby used to be the same, he kept calling the bump a boy and he, in fact he still does but then he now corrects himself.
He too wanted to find out the sex of the baby but i didnt - i won! His mates all think he will have a boy as he is one of 3 boys and all told him that at the scan he would see a little willy. The scan gave nothing away even though they showed the genitalia. So now he has come round to thinking that he could have a daughter in the end. and its sort of prepared him not knowing. I heard him tell someone the other day that we have both decided not to find out the sex as will make it special on the day and if its boy or girl regardless he will be happy as long as its healthy. Thats all you can wish for.
I secretly want a girl 1st so that i know i have a daughter then i know the next will prob be a boy anyhow. But then again if its a boy i would be pleased too as i want a boy 1st so the boy can look after his sister.

Some ppl cant have babies so we should be grateful for the gift of having one, regardless of the sex.

 

[kellysomer]

Some ppl cant have babies so we should be grateful for the gift of having one, regardless of the sex.

Exactly well put.... that makes me feel sooooo guilty but its so true.

 

[Gem & Leland]

we found out simple cos , its gonna be traumatic enough suddlenly becoming parents and getting use to that , so i wanted at least 20 weeks to get use to the idea of what sex id be a parent too , read up on how things are different ! even to nappy changing which ive herd is slightly harder with a boy lol im also bordrline ocd when it comes to colour co-ordination so for me its took the stress out of the whole pink or blue thing . which may not be stress for some of u , but when u feel how i do about colour etc it is a problem ! ive even been worrying how ill match his outfits to a pram thats how bad it is !


what ever u choice will be right for u



and kelly we all understand why your not telling us , hope u find the next few weeks easier and continue to bond with your baby