Taking alot to talk about this girls...:-( Long Post!!

[Jaidy]

Hi girls,

I feel I have to come on here and let all this out and hopefully you are going to support me..I have been holding this in for a while (obviously my family know) but I think its about time I could chat about it to you guys, my crew!!

Everyone is scared, nervous etc of childbirth. But the past month I have been having panic attacks every day, not being able to leave the house they have got so very bad. Im feeling ill and stressed and so down and all I do is cry regarding the birth.

I know most of you will be anxious, and will want to say 'pull yourself together, you gotta do it' etc which I know deep down I do and I just sound like a weakling, but the thought of it is making me feel terrible.

I have been on anti depressants since I was 13 and came off them for this pregnancy and admittedly have struggled. As some of you know, I also have a extreme phobia of vomiting (which I am embarassed about cos alot of people dont understand) but its not just a dislike, its a fear and this is also making me fear the birth as it is common to be sick in labour. Any one with depression/anxiety history will hopefully know where im coming from in the way im feeling.

I felt so awful today, like I was at breaking point so I called the midwife. We had a good chat. However, she feels my raised blood pressure and constant headaches are due to these uncontrollable panic attacks and stress relating to the birth and my phobia and said that this isnt good for baby. She has referred me to see a consultant regarding this on Friday to discuss my birth options.

I have two options, go vaginal or have an elective C Sec like Skatty did anyone remember that? I know some of you are going to be horrified that I might end up having a C Sec for this but if you knew how unwell I have been feeling im hoping some of you would understand. I know its major surgery and there are many pros and cons to both vaginal and C Sec births, and a C Sec by no means is an easy option and im aware of this. Trust me, I wont be taking the decision lightly if im offered a C Sec, which might not even be an option yet, its just what my midwife has suggested.

Im merely going for a chat on Friday with the consultant, just to get his opinion on what he thinks is best for me and baby. This thread is prob alot for you girls to get your heads round, and im nervous in response to your answers, but I didnt want to hide it anymore, I wanted to share the burden.

I do hope you girls understand and can help me with this.

Sorry again for the long post

 

[budge]

aww jaidey. i made a post earlier which is relevant to how you're feeling right now.
Don't be ashamed at how you feel - no one should judge you. Everyone is individual and cope with things differently to others.

Whatever you decide to do will be right becasue its right for you. We're all here to support you in your decision. Well i am anyway. I can't speak for everyone i suppose

 

[Vicki83]

First of all Jade, don't you be so bloody stupid thinking what people will say about the possibility of a c-section, if that's whats best for you and for bubbs then who cares what some narrow minded people might say!

I think you have been incredibly brave all throughout your pregnancy hun, and you know where i am any time you need to have a good old moan.

 

[swan1]

Aw hun, no one will critisize you for being ill, you cant help the way you are feeling. I was nowhere near as scared as you are but i was pretty nervous. I have been married for 10 years and the fear of labour put me off getting pregnant. A drunken weekend in Belfast resulted in me getting pregnant and its the best thing that ever happened to me as my little boy was born in October.

It is no use me telling you it was easy because its not but its worth it. I think you have to do whats the least stressful for you and the baby, and if that means having a section then you damm well have one girl. Not everyone is able to deliver naturally and i think in circumstances like yours then you should be able to choose. Good luck with your meeting with the consultant.

 

[Oliver's mummy]

Jaidy, i'm only 20 weeks, but you have ABSOLUTLEY nothing to worry or be ashamed about every one on this forum will understand and support you, as for the elective C section, if i was in your position i would do EXACTLY the same thing in your position. YOU ARE A VERY BRAVE WOMAN whatever you do, you are bringing a baby in to the worls whatever and not every woman gets to do this and you ARE VERY BRAVE.

if i was in your position i would be a million times worse

i know this sounds corny, but your a woman a strong woman and are doing this for your baby, i don't REALLY KNOW YOU, but i feel so proud of you

any way all of the girls and bumps on here will be proud of you whatever. LOVE SARAH AND BUMP

 

[Lyndsey]

well firstly let me say well done for sharing this with us - you didn't need to and you certainly don't need our approval to do anything!!! I am sure we all feel the same way in that we are all here to support one another!

As for the way you are feeling - well phobias are irrational fears and are nothing to laugh about.... personally I have arachnophobia - even writing it made me judder! I know it is irrational as those little money spiders cannot do anything to me but I have huge panic attacks and hyperventilate and everything so I do know how you feel in response to a phobia...... it is true though if you focus your energy on something then you sometimes make it happen... ie) if you focus on the fact that some people are sick in pregnancy then you may make yourself sick..... so it is important to focus on the positives ( not everyone is sick.....)

If when you see the consultant they reccomend a section then go for it... you will not be judged by me for going for this option...( I will be honest and say if it was offered to me now I would probably say yes as I am so fed up and in so much pain I just want this baby out!) Also though if the consultant thinks you should go for a vaginal birth then there are ways to cope with that! Anti sickness medication for one.... I know for a fact that whenever I gave pain medication I always gave it with an anti sickness drug.....

So good luck, make the decision on whats best for you and the baby and not what you think everyone will say/think about you... and keep us informed... If you want to PM me and chat on MSN then please do!!!

Love and Hugs

Lyndsey

 

[Alfiesmummy]

Jaidey dont worry if u get offered the C section if it makes you feel more at ease go for it, it sounds like your having a terrible time with this let us know how it goes

 

[jocymum]

I know what you mean about sharing- I felt that way bout posting that i'm so down about my hubby etc.
I really don't have a clue about c section so I won't even try
I think i have said to you that i've had panic attacks in the past though and i can inagine how terrifed you must feel. You can always share here, especially YOU who is so supportive of everyone even when you feel so bad yourself....you must be a very special girl. sending lots of

 

[Melly+2]

dont worry jaidy we all support you and think what ever you feel is right is the best way to go girly x loots of hugs for you xx

 

[Jaidy]

What lovely comments you have all said..im typing this in tears!!

 

[Vicki83]

See, we all love you really!

 

[skatty]

Hey Jaidy its me

As you know I had an elective section due to my anxiety too, there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of but I know how you feel because I was nervous bringing it up on the forum. I am pleased with my decision and because I knew I was having a section I was mentally prepared for it and recovered very quickly, quicker than friends I know that have torn having vaginal births.

I always said it was an irrational fear but it isn't really that irrational is it? My anxiety came more from the unknown and not knowing what to expect as no 2 vaginal births are the same. At least with the ceasrean I did a lot of research and knew exactly what was going to happen.

If you decide you want a section you are allowed one, it is your right but obviously they don't advertise this. If it just the pain you are worried about then you can book an epidural before the birth, my friend did this! If its for reasons similar to mine then have a section if that's what you want. It doesn't make you any less of a Mum to do it that way and you are much less likely to be depressed from having a traumatic birth experience. PM me anytime

 

[Jaidy]

I have PMed you earlier Skatty

 

[Sassyminx]

you honestly have nothing to be ashamed about, and the wellbeing of your and your baby is the primary responsibility of your mw, and by her referring you to a consultant, she is taking your concerns and problems seriously, im sure its taken a lot for you to come on here and tell everyone how your feeling, and hats off to you for doing so, nobody will judge you for having a c section, if im totally honest id say go for it and maybe you will be able to relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy

 

[Tasha20]

Hunny you do what you feel will be best, as what will be best for you will be best for bubba as you will feel happier in yourself

Depression alone is an awfull thing but with all what you have on top, hunny I couldnt begin to imagine how awfull you must be feeling.

I really feel for you, and I am sure you will come out on top in the end, especialy when you have that little miracle in your arms

 

[Dee1985]

you have nothing to be ashamed of hun

i no what you mean about phobias. i have a few that rule my life.

thanks for sharing with us. i have been able to talk to you alot about my probs and you gave me great advice.

if you no that a c-section is best then do what is best. a happy mummy is a happy baby.

my friend felt like you. she questioned me every day about the pain of childbirth etc. the midwife told her that fears of giving birth could make ou go over due as her body will fight against it? dont no if thats true though??

 

[claire81]

Jade

First of all i really feel for you, i have a big fear this time because of witnessing the birth and death of my niece this year, and the fact the last baby i held was a dead one, so i am terrified now, but this is nowhere near to what you are going through. Also we have spoken before as i too am scared of being sick, but again, not to the extent that you are. But please don't be embarressed, and also, i'm sure to god no one will look down on you for opting for a C section, i say go for it, if it helps you and it means you and baby are not stressed then do it.

Thinking of you loads xxxx

 

[Tasha20]

the midwife told her that fears of giving birth could make ou go over due as her body will fight against it? dont no if thats true though??

I have heard this too, I have also heard that wanting the baby to come and constantly trying everything to get bubba to come can make you go over too.

I suppose it makes sense, stressing, anxiety, all those sorts of things effect your mind which in return your body, so how can your body prepare itself if its not given the chance to.

lol I know what I mean........ I think

I maybe totaly wrong tho

 

[Rubys mummy]

Babes
I am crying for you reading this post....I know we have spoken on MSN about this,I too am terrified. I like you have suffered panic attacks, and been on anti Ds...Had a few months of being so scared I cried all the time and I can honestly say I am dreading every second of the birth.

If the consultant recommends a C section, go for it, it is a major op, and you know this so it isnt an easy option, but I think it might be the best option for you hunny, a far less traumatic one than a natural birth maybe?

No one can judge you, its your life, your body, your birth experience and your baby at the end of it.

You will be a wonderful mummy, and u have to do what is best for you..

I wish I could be with you and hold your hand for you dollface

 

[lozzi]

awww hunny

were all here for you whatever you decide....

I agree totally with the other ladies and if you need someone to talk to about anything then you know were i am...

Your a stronger woman than me, they put me back on anti-d's months ago so i really respect you for coming this far!!!