Taking alot to talk about this girls...:-( Long Post!!

[rusks]

Hi jaidy

just a quickie as i'm at work but wanted to say as the other girls i am here for you always whatever your decision we are supporting you 100%.

Please don't worry what we, your friends, here are going to think about you, you have enough else to contend with.

Sending you lots of hugs and well done for being brave enough to talk about it - i know that must have taken a lot of courage.

you have had a tough pregnancy and i for one think you have coped fantastically through it all so well done

 

[Jaidy]

the midwife told her that fears of giving birth could make ou go over due as her body will fight against it? dont no if thats true though??

I have heard this too, I have also heard that wanting the baby to come and constantly trying everything to get bubba to come can make you go over too.

I suppose it makes sense, stressing, anxiety, all those sorts of things effect your mind which in return your body, so how can your body prepare itself if its not given the chance to.

lol I know what I mean........ I think

I maybe totaly wrong tho

Yes Tasha all what you said about stressing and anxiety is totally true. The midwife said to me that if im having panic attacks now, just thinking about it, then what am I going to be like in labour??? And this is so true and what im debating in my mind the whole time.

Its the being out of 'control' and natural labour is very much like that, having a section is perhaps somewhat more planned and you can prepare as best as possible.

And the thing is like you said, your body is naturally going to 'fight or flight' against the panic, and I just have visions of me going through a painful, terrible labour only to have a C Sec anyhow because my body wont allow me to relax and get through it. Im not sure if this is possible, but all these scenarios keep popping up in my head and the stress is unbearable.

I cant wait to see the consultant tomorrow. Whatever gets decided will be the hardest decision of my life, because whatever choice I make im going to have fears. I just cant wait until its over!!

 

[LucyBee]

Poor Jaidy. I'm so sorry that you're having to go through all of this and nobody will judge you for whatever decision you need to make to get your little babe out safely and retain your sanity!

Did you get the hypnobirthing CD? I can honestly say that it's helped me sooooo much and my feelings towards the birth. It's also just helped me to relax in general. The breathing techniques calm you and I'm sure they'd help with your panic attacks.

Anyway, we're all here for you. Big hugs Jaidy. And remember that it will just be ONE day out of your whole life.

Lucy xx

 

[kirlykird]

Nobody would think any worse of you for this.



My OH actually had an anxiety disorder a few years back and didn't leave his house for about 6 months, he still takes medication now to be on the safe side.

After knowing what he went through and how he felt, I have an awful lot of admiration for you jaidy to be able to come off the meds for your baby

He has dropped his dose to the minimum and has done for the last few years but he doesn't feel confident enough to come straight off as it's a big thing to do so hugs for you on that one

If taking a c section is what will help you, then do it. I know it's not an easy way out for you and noone would think that as I had one previously with my twins and know the recovery is a lot longer!

All the best for you, hope you manage to come to some decision that makes you feel a little easy and calmer, hopefully it can be made into an experience that you will look forward to and cherish afterwards.

I'm sure that noone wants you to feel upset about this especially not all over christmas. Just to reiterate, well done i think you've done an amazing thing as it is by choosing to take your pg med free regardless of the effect it is having on you and I think you're a star for it and so will your little baby!

Big hugs

Sorry to ramble on for so long

 

[grace7]

Hi Jade i agree with everyone else if a c section is the best thing for you and baby then you should go for it. At the end of the day you and baby is the most important thing. Hope things go well with the consultant. Grace xx

 

[Tasha20]

the midwife told her that fears of giving birth could make ou go over due as her body will fight against it? dont no if thats true though??

I have heard this too, I have also heard that wanting the baby to come and constantly trying everything to get bubba to come can make you go over too.

I suppose it makes sense, stressing, anxiety, all those sorts of things effect your mind which in return your body, so how can your body prepare itself if its not given the chance to.

lol I know what I mean........ I think

I maybe totaly wrong tho

Yes Tasha all what you said about stressing and anxiety is totally true. The midwife said to me that if im having panic attacks now, just thinking about it, then what am I going to be like in labour??? And this is so true and what im debating in my mind the whole time.

Its the being out of 'control' and natural labour is very much like that, having a section is perhaps somewhat more planned and you can prepare as best as possible.

And the thing is like you said, your body is naturally going to 'fight or flight' against the panic, and I just have visions of me going through a painful, terrible labour only to have a C Sec anyhow because my body wont allow me to relax and get through it. Im not sure if this is possible, but all these scenarios keep popping up in my head and the stress is unbearable.

I cant wait to see the consultant tomorrow. Whatever gets decided will be the hardest decision of my life, because whatever choice I make im going to have fears. I just cant wait until its over!!

ah so I wasnt talking rubbish
Hunny I definatly think a C sec would be the best thing for you and your baby, you will be more prepared for it and talked about what to expect as with natural labour you know the jist of it but knowone really knows hows its going to go, which I can understand makes you very anxious.

Let us know how you get on after youve seen the consultant.

 

[Lyndsey]

I too have the hynobirth CD and in it you get a little book about natural birth - there is a whole section on the fight or flight reaction ( I was reading it in the bath last night thinking of you Jaidy!!) and it says that we are all mammals and if we feel threatened then we will not delliver our babies... thats why cows dogs and cats etc find somewhere quiet and dark to have their babies - somewhere they feel safe!

So you need to be completley relaxed and focus on the positivenesss of the whole experience.. also the adrenaline that is released as part of this process actually kills off endorphons making the labour more painful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So like your midwife has said if your having panic attacks thinking about the labour then you are going to be as wound up as a spring and you will not be physically ready to give birth..... push for the section hun..... as for the rest of us..

Breath in and R-E-L-A-X waasssaaaaaaaaaaaa ( bad boys 2)

 

[gingerpig]

(((((((((((Jade)))))))))))

I feel for you, fear is the worst thing in the world! It's useful in a way because it can make you sit up and do something, but on the other hand it can be completely paralysing. So I really do feel for you going on to see the consultant and having to make a decision one way or another. One thing you said was about being frightened about being out of control - in one way I agree totally with you, life often throws wobblies at us, and we're definitely not in control of that... Another way I don't agree with you, as you've decided to stick with the pregnancy (which is really impressive, especially with your sickness phobia, I hope you didn't get too sick), and you're going to make a decision about how you want to give birth. There's elements of control in all of those. Its like we're not in control of events, but you've actually already identified the bits we can control, ie the planning and how we respond to our reactions to things and are starting to deal with them already. For me that shows so much courage, and also shows that perhaps you are dealing with things better than you give yourself credit for.

Also, (and I don't mean this in a patronising way as my mum had severe problems with depression when i was growing so I know how awful it can be) you are doing so well to stick at not being on anti-d's and yet make this really difficult decision. That is really quite something! I am really overwhelmed by your courage, I'm sure you don't feel it right now, but it's definitely there. There are also hypnobirthing cd's for c-sections if you decide that's the right way for you.

I also wanted to say I was really moved by how many of you are finding this so tough! You really are all super mummies! to all of you.

 

[mermaid]

Jaidy, i have pm you!

 

[Jaidy]

Again, bless you all for your kindness.

I have read all your posts and taken on board everything you ladies have said, and feel a huge sense of relief because you all understand and have supported me. I feel this is one of the biggest things in my life that im having to get over..which again I feel embarassed for cos we all gotta do it, but with anxiety and panic attacks even the 'normal' things seem such hard work.

I will let you all know how I get on tomorrow with the consultant. I do hope he is sympathetic and does not judge me.

 

[Tasha20]

I do hope he is sympathetic and does not judge me.

hun im sure they deal with this problem more often than you think, just not something a lot of women are brave enough to come forward about as they don't want to be judged, you are very brave for telling us this and its one step closer to sorting this little demon out

 

[Vicki83]

All i can say is if he does even contemplate judging you hun, he's not worth his salt. It's not his health and baby at the end of the day, and only you know whats best for you all hun.

Good luck xxxx

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

awww hun im so sorry ur feeling like this thankfully i was quiet carm bout giving birth but cant really imagine how ur feeeling maybe if ur this worried it would be a good idea to go and have a section no one would blame u hun and u have to think of ur health as well as babies and being worried nervous upsets not doing anygood
if u ever need to tlk were all here for u

 

[mummykay]

Its ur body and ur baby = Ur choice Jaidy!!

I hope u come to a decision and then look forward to bringin ur little man into the world!

 

[rusks]

good luck for tomorrow jaidy be thinking of you.

 

[nikki1306]

whatever you decide to do hun we are all here for you xx

 

[Vicki83]

Good luck for today hun xx

 

[Ebony_Mommy]

Awww Jaidy Jaidy Jaidy...

ppl cant judge u... how can ppl laugh at you for being ill? bad jaidy for thinking were all that cruel ~!!! lol

but seriously tho babes.. watever u need to do u do. and c-section is not an easy option at all !!!!

aaww good luck today babes...

big hugs all the way from reading!!

 

[skatty]

As some of you may know I was phobic and proud!! I spent all my life telling people I don't ever want kids but not sayinng it was because I was so scared of childbirth. I was also scared of having a section but I did it and am happier than ever with my beautiful baby girl. I did have a few people who told me I'm mad and childbirth is beautiful etc etc but for someone with tocophobia it isn't at all and anyone who has this should not be ashamed, it makes you no less of a mother to have a section because of anxiety in fact it takes a lot of courage and love to go on the journey to get you baby here. My Leorah is so precious to me as she was so wanted I had to face my biggest fears so she could be here.

I'm proud of you Jade, I know how hard it is but in a few weeks you will be sitting with your gorgeous boy and the birth will be over.



If anyone else ever feels this way please don't bottle it up and suffer because there is no need. I was told I could have a section when I was 9 weeks pregnant because I was so scared and stressed. I so wish Jade hadn't of waited so long and suffered with her anxiety these last weeks.

 

[Ebony_Mommy]

see jade..

good luck babes!!!

and well done skatty!!!!!