stupid stupid cow

[tracey 2]

beware rant alert, i have to get this out of my system before my head explodes,

im not gonna go in to details but im so looking forward to end of tommorrow then im off work for few days im just getting loads of hassle from my parents and work who all seem to have the idea that i should be over things by now im trying the best i can you know and my boss says my work is going bad again well how sorry but i work so hard and nearly back full time and its been 5 months roughly since lost chloe,

so ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

thats better now,

i done something yesterday im not proud of guys and iv already taken steps today and got an docs appointment and arranged another counselling session, im not mad but i started self harming yesterday couldnt take anymore and the tears couldnt come, i havent done it for so long and in a way im gutted with myself for not sticking it out but on other hand im feeling ok that i can see what iv done and got help soon as possible.

i dont feel so bad im gonna really self harm but yesterday just small cuts and little blood just helped but i do no its not the answer i know that and i suppose im posting to get it all out.

Thank you for reading and there is no need to reply

 

[cloud9]

gonna pm you

 

[babydust]

at least you know its not the way to go and you got help i will not say i know what you are going through because i dont but i can imagine how hard things have been for you, also i dont know anything about self harming but i know its not the answer, i just hope the dr and your counceller can give you the help and support you really need just now, and there is always someone here is ever you need to talk or get something out.
take care

 

[Misslarue]

sent you a fb

 

[CharlieOne]

Sweetheart, you are such a strong brave women, remember that

Im sorry that those around you are thinking you should be over things, but i guess those that have been thro what you have will never truely understand how it feels, im sure they are trying there best to keep your head up but sometimes i know you just wish they'd get lost and leave you alone!

Enjoy your time off and i know its hard but when you do go back to work just remember its work, its a job, maybe its best to just get on with things at work and make work septare than anything else, i know when im at work i just keep my head down and get on with things.....

...it when i get home i still cry etc....

Huge Cuddles, i just wish i could say something more

 

[mrs_metal]

Really glad you're arranging a counselling session hun, the fact that you realised you need help and are looking for that help shows what a strong courageous woman you are. Don't let them get to you, only you know what you can and can't cope with and how long you need for recovery. My Mum lost 7 babies in late miscarriages and she still misses and mourns every one of them. I don't think it something you can ever get over but as you know it does get a little easier with time.

 

[jenna]

 

[CB23]

Just wanted to give you

 

[A&J]

 

[SarahH]

Will text you later hun once I have Arianna in bed so we can speak properly

 

[Petra]

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

awwww hun
u know u ever need to tlk i am always here

 

[tracey 2]

ah thank you all guys and thank you sarah h for giving me a call lovely to speak to you

well i spoke to my doc briefly earlier and have got appointmnet to see him tommorrow arfternoon and have a counselling session booked for friday so im getting there havent even been tempted today i think i scared myself enough other day but thank you all of you

 

[SarahH]

ah thank you all guys and thank you sarah h for giving me a call lovely to speak to you

well i spoke to my doc briefly earlier and have got appointmnet to see him tommorrow arfternoon and have a counselling session booked for friday so im getting there havent even been tempted today i think i scared myself enough other day but thank you all of you

No problem my dear.... like I said, my mobile is always on

 

[Squiglet]

You have lost two children. You have EVERY right to feel and act the way you do... The next time someone (such as your parents) tells you that you should be over it.. ask them how many people they have lost in their lives, and ask them if they are really over it, do they not feel the pain anymore?.. and were they over it less than 6 months after their death? The answer will be no.

And you've done it twice, in a year. !!!!

My mum was like Mrs.Metals mum... she had 7 miscarriages and a cot death... she still morns her lost girls... and they are still her children... THIRTY years later. You've done just six months...

While you can't go on hurting yourself.. because self harming only becomes a vicious circle and when you get pregnant again you need to be in the best possible shape... Allow yourself to morn your babies, and don't let others get on top of you for it.

You will get through this, because most people wouldn't do so remarkably well as you have so far... you are allowed to stumble every now and again and it will prepare you to one day be the most remarkable mother ever.

 

[HappyAlice]

to you Tracey

You're so brave

 

[tracey 2]

thank you for all your replies guys been a better day today an havent tried hurting myself again so far i think it was just a moment of weakness and of course im going to have these days i know.

but saw my doc and all went well he was great had good chat and my old midwife came with me too and have got a counselling session again this afternoon.

 

[neeko_1]

HUN i'm going TO PM you xx

 

[trixipaws]

sorry only just seen this. i hope the counselling session is going well. glad ur having a better day x x x

 

[tracey 2]

hey guys the session went really well, well as good as it could have gone we talk about what triggered it off and what would i achieve by doing it, i like my counsellor she is sympathetic but doesnt beat around the bush she says what she feels but in a nice way.

we looked at different therapies and im kinda interested in acupunture dont know why or some sort of massage reflecxology or something there is no harm in looking at these things, it may or may not help.

but thank you all for your PM's and messages im glad i have all your support on here,