I really want a baby but my OH wants to wait which is fine but he's now told me he's too scared to have a baby so I'm left feeling he's never gonna be ready and if he isn't where does that leave me? Its soooo frustrating I feel like just going ahead without him but I don't want to force a baby on him but if he does decide he doesn't want one isn't he forcing me to go without? I just don't know what to do.
stupid men
- Thread starter karael
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I'm afraid I don't have much advice but I didn't want to read and run, have you asked why he's afraid to have a child? xxx
LuW
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G was like this, really against the idea for a very long time, I'd already had a traumatic experience with my first pregnancy and didn't want to entertain kids at all at that point so it didn't bother me. But as time's gone on, I came round to the idea but G hadn't eventually I broke down in floods thinking it was something wrong with me and that's why.
Actually his ex had tried to trick him into having a baby on numerous occasions and had also made it extremely stressful when he had given in to her. No baby came from that relationship but left us in a position where we could negotitate. That was a NTNP way forward that sadly ended in miscarriage in June. He's since asked for time because he's taken it quiet hard - harder then I think he thought he would. We're trying again from May but if I'd never poured everything out to him and vice versa we'd probs never be going down this road and I'd have suffered in silence and bought another dog....
Actually his ex had tried to trick him into having a baby on numerous occasions and had also made it extremely stressful when he had given in to her. No baby came from that relationship but left us in a position where we could negotitate. That was a NTNP way forward that sadly ended in miscarriage in June. He's since asked for time because he's taken it quiet hard - harder then I think he thought he would. We're trying again from May but if I'd never poured everything out to him and vice versa we'd probs never be going down this road and I'd have suffered in silence and bought another dog....
LuW
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Sorry couldn't help myself!
Serious note, pushing for answers did never tear us apart so I don't recommend that, maybe by letting him know that while a baby means a lot to you, he does as well and you want to be able to talk like adults and reach a decision as a couple, whether that's a time/date that suits you both or whether it's a more laissez faire kind of approach to it or whatever.
HUGS!
Serious note, pushing for answers did never tear us apart so I don't recommend that, maybe by letting him know that while a baby means a lot to you, he does as well and you want to be able to talk like adults and reach a decision as a couple, whether that's a time/date that suits you both or whether it's a more laissez faire kind of approach to it or whatever.
HUGS!
Aragon
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Men are such strange creatures!!!
I think everyone gets scared but men don't have the biological clock to worry about so they can 'afford' to worry for longer... Might be unfair but that's my opinion.
I agree with LuW that explaining how much he means to you as well as having a child is a good place to start.
I'm 34 so I understand the pressure you're feeling.
Have you asked him what he would look forward to as a Dad? Might get him to realise the positives?
Good luck xx
I think everyone gets scared but men don't have the biological clock to worry about so they can 'afford' to worry for longer... Might be unfair but that's my opinion.
I agree with LuW that explaining how much he means to you as well as having a child is a good place to start.
I'm 34 so I understand the pressure you're feeling.
Have you asked him what he would look forward to as a Dad? Might get him to realise the positives?
Good luck xx
Aragon
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And what you can look forward to as a family unit.
Me and my OH have made a pact that oyr relationship will always be a priority and we'll make time for each other always..... We'll see the reality!! Haha but at least we've talked it through and acknowledged having a baby will change things.
Xx
Me and my OH have made a pact that oyr relationship will always be a priority and we'll make time for each other always..... We'll see the reality!! Haha but at least we've talked it through and acknowledged having a baby will change things.
Xx
russellmuscle
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I think even at my age of 24 you need to make sure that your on the same wave length because getting to that stage of starting a family is a long process.
I understand that you are more ready, but its for the best if a child is born into a world were 100% on board.
Ive seen plenty ladies deliberately come off birth control and In saying that, if the roles were reversed and a guy got a woman pregnant (if possible obvs) the world would go into overdrive. Its not fair to decide someone elses life based on your wants at the present time. If the dad isnt 100% on board chances are he may not be as excited, or put in as much effort to you which would then lead to resentment and in all costs the child would be the one whos in the middle.
If you are truly desperate I would sit him dowm and ask for a time line. Both make a plan that you both are happy with. Sometimes guys have the itll happen attitude. But from a womans point of view. We need to know when etc. We live on a clock they dont, remind him that.
Good luck.
xxx
I understand that you are more ready, but its for the best if a child is born into a world were 100% on board.
Ive seen plenty ladies deliberately come off birth control and In saying that, if the roles were reversed and a guy got a woman pregnant (if possible obvs) the world would go into overdrive. Its not fair to decide someone elses life based on your wants at the present time. If the dad isnt 100% on board chances are he may not be as excited, or put in as much effort to you which would then lead to resentment and in all costs the child would be the one whos in the middle.
If you are truly desperate I would sit him dowm and ask for a time line. Both make a plan that you both are happy with. Sometimes guys have the itll happen attitude. But from a womans point of view. We need to know when etc. We live on a clock they dont, remind him that.
Good luck.
xxx
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