Stuck in Limbo

[Emily0505]

I had some spotting yesterday. Very minimal and only really there on wiping.

Managed to get an emergency scan and it's not looking good.

By my dates (which I am set on) I was 8+4.

However, baby was measuring way behind this- according to my notes the gestational sac and yolk sac were present, but embryo inconclusive.

Obviously should have been able to see a lot more.

Sonographer said it's either that I'm earlier on than I thought or that pregnancy isn't progressing.

I've got to go back for another scan in 2 weeks to see what's going on.

I just can't imagine baby could grow that much to catch up in two weeks! It needs to go from an inconclusive embryo to a 10 week baby in two weeks!

I'm not holding out much hope that my lil bug is going to make it.

Has anyone been through anything similar? What was the outcome?

XX

 

[Spannagal]

I can't imagine what you re going through having to wait 2 weeks. I had my brown spotting when wiping on the sat night, spoke to gp on Monday and he got me a scan for the Thursday. They were the longest 3 days of my life after the sinking feeling from the Sat... and my fiance was away telling me not to worry and it will be nothing. Mine didnt turn out for the best, but I dont want to advise you either way as not a specialist. No one can know. You might well be fine. They told me how it was on the day so I dealt with on the day, how can they think anyone can cope with a 2 week wait.?? Honestly my heart goes out to you. Best of luck for a positive outcome.

 

[kittykitchn]

Two weeks! ! Im so sorry Emily, you'll be in my thoughts and I pray everything will be fine for you and baby xx

 

[Emily0505]

Thank you both.

I'm convinced I've lost it, but just got to wait and see.

XX

 

[flisstebbs]

Oh Emily, so sorry to hear your news. Sending huge hug. 2 out of my 4 losses were similar in that I got told I could just be "out" on my dates but for an obsessive poas ttc addict like me I knew it wasn't possible and sadly those pregnancies were not to be. The limbo wait is killer but you have to know for sure that this isn't the miracle case (of which Ihave read loads of on here and elsewhere). You have to keep up a weird mix of slight optimism but realism which is so so hard to do

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

Hi hun I'm so sorry your in limbo. This has happened to me twice and the 2 week wait really does suck. In April I had an empty sac at 8 weeks and sadly after several rescans nothing developed. Same happened last year again an empty sac at about 7 weeks not even a yolk and 2 weeks later was a fully formed baby and heart beat. He is now 1. It really can go either way and there's no way of telling before that next scan. Massive hugs and good luck xxx

 

[Emily0505]

That's what I'm praying for but I'm prepared for the worst.

XX

 

[Emily0505]

Well, it looks like I'm leaving limbo land.

Bleeding has started and camping too.



Can't believe I'm losing my baby...

XX

 

[kaz1983]

sorry to hear youre having to wait 2 weeks I have everything crossed for you hun

The only thing I can say is that a friend's niece went for a scan thinking she was 12 weeks and was measuring 9 weeks so she went back for another scan 3 weeks later they did find something abnormal so sent her for tests but are very hopeful that once baby is here whatever is wrong is sortable - I know its not much cope but it shows that she was three weeks behind what she thought

sending hugs xx

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

So sorry hun. Massive hugs to you xxx

 

[Emily0505]

So the bleeding and cramping I had previously is nothing in comparison to what's happened this evening!!

There is no doubt now, I'm having a miscarriage.

I'm thankful that it's happening naturally and hopefully when I have the scan on Friday, they will confirm that I have passed everything.

It's horrendous though- the pain is awful and the bleeding and clots I'm passing are just horrible!

I'm devastated to have lost my lil bug, but I am relieved that the end is in sight now.

XX

 

[Spannagal]

My heart goes out to you . So sorry. I know exactly how you re feeling. I couldn't believe it either, still can't, probably never will.Sounds like you're being very strong. Im 2 weeks on from you. It does get better but certainly the toughest saddest few days of my life. Im up and down but I have to stay hopeful that I will be a mum.

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

Oh hunny I am so sorry it's come to this. Limbo is a rubbish place to be but like you I knew the difference from the bleeding and knew when it was all over. I don't know if you have lost before but I found my empty sac loss to be more painful and heavier blood loss than all the others it was really draining so make sure you get plenty of rest where you can. Hopefully your scan shows your all clear and you can start to heal. Massive hugs to you.
Sleep tight Lil bug xxx

 

[Emily0505]

This is my first loss so I don't know if that's how things are supposed to happen but apart from still bleeding, everything seemed to be over by 9.30 when we went to bed.

I started cramping at about 4 o'clock. The pain got steadily worse accompanied by heavy bleeding and I began passing large clots. This continued for a few hours, where the pain gradually tailed off and then just left with the bleeding, which isn't as heavy either.

It's like my body went hell for leather to get it all out! Although that being said I did start bleeding last week, not that it was anything like last night's bleeding.

I didn't see anything sac like come out but then I don't really know what I'm looking for anyway. Plus it would have been tiny I expect. I passed so many clots though I expect it all came out. At least I'm hoping it all did and scan on Friday will confirm a complete miscarriage.

XX

 

[Iwant3]

Sorry for you loss. Sounds similar to my 10 week miscarriage. I had some spotting and by 6pm bleeding went very heave with contraction type pain and pain would increase each time I passed a clot. After 8 hours it all stopped and just left with light bleeding. I had a scan the next day which confirmed everything had passed.

be kind to yourself and feel how you feel - all feelings are normal.x

 

[Emily0505]

I'm not sure what I'm feeling is normal though.

This is going to sound awful but, I don't feel upset. I feel relieved that it has finally happened.

When we had our first scan nearly two weeks ago, I knew then that it was over and I was devastated and couldn't stop crying and I expected to feel that today. But I don't.

It feels so wrong not to be upset. I feel like I should be an emotional crying wreck but I'm just not.

Other than relief, I'm feeling pretty numb, pretty meh...

XX

 

[kaz1983]

Its not awful that youre not upset.

I was the same the two days i was in hospital I never cried about losing what I did cry about was the fact they were trying to take me to theatre but I was numb and I think tbh I blocked a lot out as distracted myself constantly between Elise and other things and I know now it was the wrong thing to do as we never grieved properly to start with.

I asked for counselling as was offered nothing from the hospital and hard as it was it really did help xx

 

[Emily0505]

I think rather than worrying about how I should be feeling, I just need to focus on how I am feeling and that it's all ok.

As much as I'm terrified about getting pregnant again and the worry of this all happening again, getting pregnant again is really on my mind. Just wanting to try again and be pregnant. To do it properly this time and not have it all snatched away from me.

I'm so tired today. I've just literally stuck the tv on for Cam and flaked out on the sofa.

I'm hungry and need to go and sort lunch in a minute but I really can't be arsed. I wish McDonald's did a delivery service as I could nail a burger right now!

XX

 

[kaz1983]

I was exactly the same as you getting pregnant again was all I could think of and it was the worst thing ever for me personally and everytime I saw someone else was pregnanct it hurt so bad and even now when another person announces that theyre pregnant I think thats it something ios going to happen to my baby the fear will never leave me but I try and not let it control me and you will get your rainbow baby the only advice i can give you is just to do what you enjoy - I threw myself into concentrating on my drumming in the pipeband I ate what I wanted I drank alcohol even thouh Im not meant to due to a liver condition and I really do believe that helped as I was carrying on as normal - that was a good 9 months after my miscarriage though so dont expect it to happen straight away you just give yourself as much time as you need xx

 

[Emily0505]

Well I'm signed off until 18th but I'm hoping that after then I will be able to get back to normal with everything.

I've put work and all my other commitments on hold but I can't do that indefinitely.

I think I need to try and get back to normality. Can't hide away forever.

I would really like to start trying again right away if we can and if hubby feels ok about it. It took us nine months to get our lil bug only to have it cruelly snatched away. If it might take that long again, which I guess it could, I want to get going again as soon as. I want this so much, I want to be pregnant and have a baby so badly, it's all consuming especially since losing lil bug.

I'm scared though. What if it happens again? Do you get acc early scan if you've had a MC or just treated as per normal?

XX