struggling to carry on after 6years!

Discussion in 'Long Term TTC & Fertility Issues' started by wcd.18, May 20, 2013.

  1. wcd.18

    wcd.18 Active Member

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    hi everyone, ive been with my oh for over 6years now and since getting together we have never used any contraception but werent actively 'trying' straight away, after about a year we started trying and its been a long long road :( after so long i thought that was it, it would never happen but in november last year i got my long awaited bfp, but sadly i started spotting and had a scan to reveal it was an ectopic pregnancy, I had to have surgery and they had to remove a tube aswell. its been 6months now and month after month my af has come right on time! Our dr has referred us to nurture fertility but after reading they info they sent we simply cant afford it, so im left now feeling torn apart, alone and spiraling out of control and unsure what to do, im 23 my oh is 27-he has an 8yr old from a previous so we cannot recieve funding for treatment which im fuming about.

    Has anybody got any stories of hope that can maybe pick me up a bit or anybody share their stories so im not alone, thank you all xXx
     
  2. Titch85

    Titch85 Well-Known Member

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    #2 Titch85, May 20, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2016
  3. wcd.18

    wcd.18 Active Member

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    no we cant get any help because he has a child already, so i have to suffer and carry on with the struggle x
     
  4. sunnyland27

    sunnyland27 Well-Known Member

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    Aw wcd i cant understand how hard this must be for you. My sister-in-law has paid for 1 cycle of IVF because her husband has a son already. She has no chance of conceiving naturally because her husband has cancer and had to have his sperm frozen before chemo, then their house went into negative equity so they can't afford to move house or pay for more cycles. She would be such an amazing mother too. It's another problem with the way IVF is decided in the uk. It should be taken on a case-by-case basis.

    I know you probably feel like you've been fobbed off by doctors because of your age but that makes no difference to the pain you're feeling. The only thing I can say is that at 23 you have lots of time to save up in between IVF cycles. You will be a mum! I'm so sorry for your loss 6 months ago. Please try to keep in mind that you did get pregnant and that's a brilliant sign you can do it. You were just so incredibly unlucky that happened to you. On average it takes a year, so bear in mind you have another 6 months in which you shouldnt worry whatsoever. In total you have been trying a long time but a lot of the time it seems 1 pregnancy can mean it's easier to conceive again. It kind of re-starts our systems. I'm sure you will conceive naturally soon.

    I feel like my life is on hold (as I know many of us do) so never make the move to further my career. I feel like I need that bfp before I'll have the energy to do ANYTHING but my OH has convinced me that I should set my business up with the idea that it's for our future children, however long that takes. Because of your ages you have the opportunity to work hard and save that money, but I think you'll get to spend your money on baby things, not IVF.

    Got My fingers crossed for a speedy and problem-free bfp for you. You deserve it x
     
  5. Moley

    Moley Well-Known Member

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    Awww hun.... I really hate that BHS rule that if either of you have a child theres no funding. That should be changed - maybe we should all get togther and take a stand.

    Anyway I have no advice to offer but just wanted to let you know that we're all here to listen and support you do don't feel alone. Tberes many ladies here so I'm sure someone will be able to help.

    M x x
     
  6. bunnyhunny

    bunnyhunny Member

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    Sorry to hear this hunni, you are not going through this alone we have been TTC for over 6 years now and we have never even got a BFP ever, we know that we only have a 10% chance of conceiving naturally and we still feel there is hope as where there's a chance there's always a hope and a miracle.

    I would advise you to keep trying naturally unless you have been told otherwise and maybe consider IVF in the future when you are in a position to pay for it privately or a change in the law happens....I have had friends that have had ectopic pregnancies and then feel pregnant some years down the line.

    Keep strong and carry hunni.

    We are all here for you and if you ever want to chat just PM me as I am willing to listen to anyone

    x
     
  7. gemmainthesun

    gemmainthesun Well-Known Member

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    Its awful how they do that just because he has a child, it makes me so annoyed. Have you had tests to find out why you took 6 years to get pregnant? Again so sorry for the eptopic what awful luck after trying for that long...hopefully you can do it again but I know it must be so frustrating for you. Could you maybe consider going abroad for treatment? I found a clinic for example in prague and its about 2k a go or you could do this money back scheme one in barcelona I think it was you pay 6k and you get 3 treatments but if you havent got pregnant and kept the baby up to 12 week scan after then tries you get the money back, it doesnt include medication i thyink thats about 1k a go.... I know it seems alot of money but you are obly 23 so if you perhaps start saving whatever you can now then at least you got some sort of plan.... also there is other treamtmetsn like IUI that you could try thats cheaper private about 1k I think?
    I really hope in the mean time you get a natural BFP hun, you still ovulate from 1 tube dont you so id do the OPK's and take feriutlity viatimins and bd as much as you can xxx
     

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