step mum question!

Kelh85

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Hiya, just a bit of advice wanted really!

My step kids have lived with me and my partner for nearly 2 yrs now while their biological mother has seen them maybe 4 times in 2 yrs, doesn't contribute towards us looking after them and has never offered to even give us anything towards their uniforms or anything. Oh doesn't want anything from her but out of principal an the fact she has just had another baby I think she should at least send us some money for them!

Am I bring unreasonable?
 
That's awful that she doesn't think to contribute to her children's up bringing. I'm a step mum and we give my husbands ex wife a lot of money to support my step daughter over and above what the CSA calculates. Have you had a look at the CSA website?theres a calculator on there. The only thing is that if she hasn't got an income she might get away with it.
 
If she is earning she should be giving you something, if she is out of work it would be something stupid like £5 a week per child. If you get in touch with CSA they would chase her for the money, but I personally wouldn't if she isn't working as it isn't worth the battles she might put up (i.e contact bitching about there dad and you etc) I know she might not be that sort of person but wouldn't risk it for £10 a week. If she has an income however I would because its something like £50 a week if your on minimum wage. There is a calculator online if you know what she earns xx
 
p.s its horrible she doesn't pa or see her kids and how a mother can do that is beyond me! x
 
thanx for the replies! She is working but on maternity now as just had another baby so maybe contact CSa as she should contribute in my eyes if she can afford to have another she can pay towards these two also!

Doesn't even get them anything decent for birthdays or Xmas!!! Just makes my blood boil sometimes!!!!
 
If the tables where turned she probably would do the same! How anyone can have babies like that while not giving a single f*** about the older two is beyond me! I could not face the guilt looking in the mirror every single morning !
 
Oh yeah she used to take over 600 off my partner when she had the kids that he used to pay her when they split up and that was for rent and bills and we are still having to pay off old debts of hers that she didn't pay with that money as well as a 2 yr old parking fine which she has admitted was her and didn't pay and we now have bailiff letters chasing us for 300 quid!!! We are not paying that!!!

When she decided she couldn't cope we took them instantly and have never asked her for anything but it would just be courtesy to offer to pay something a month but nothing as yet so CSa may be the way forward!
 
Yeah but it's one thing not being able to cope and another to hardly bother there's just no excuses for that imo. Perhaps even do the calculation make the offer to go without csa first but inform if she's not co-operating you will get them involved?
 
Yeah but it's one thing not being able to cope and another to hardly bother there's just no excuses for that imo. Perhaps even do the calculation make the offer to go without csa first but inform if she's not co-operating you will get them involved?

That's what I'm going to do, give her the choice to do it without them or if she dint go for it I'll go Csa. Do they back date at all?

Going to ask for them to have new uniforms when they see her in 2 weeks (which I had it suggest) the cheeky cow wanted them Mother's Day!!! Err no love they r spending it with me n my mum who have brought them up, taken them to school and looked after them properly for the last 2 yrs not someone who gave them up, never took them to school, had a 4 yr old in nappies coz she couldn't b arsed to potty train him n never bathed them fir 2 weeks!!!

The list is endless of how bad she treated them!
 
After recent dealing with the csa (or rather cms as it is now) they only backdate the money from the date they expect the recipient to receive the letter outlining the request for maintenance. Abit rubbish really, if I was aware of how it all work I would of applied 6 months ago but hey ho. If the children's mother is awkward in paying it could be something like 4 months before you receive any money. I hope this is of some help to you.
 

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