HeppiBean
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OK, I saw my midwife today and she seems desperate to refer us over to SS. At my last 2 appointments with her she asked me if my mental health midwife was doing anything about SS and both times I told her no, as MH midwife said she didn't think it was necessary.
On Tuesday I had an appointment in London at King's College Hospital for a cardiac scan on Francesca to check if everything is ok as I was born with a minor heart defect. I did not attend this appointment due to lack of funds (it would have cost £60 for both my partner and I to get there) and also being ill and not wanting to travel that far. When we told my midwife this she started pushing for a referral to SS on the grounds that during my pregnancy I have now missed 2 appointments down to lack of funds. I asked how SS could help with funds as it is not budgetting we have trouble with, we just barely get enough money to survive on.
I told her that I was not happy with the referral and she started bringing up other excuses to refer us such as my previous mental health. Yes, I have suffered with sever depression and anxiety for over 10 years, yes, I have tried to take my own life twice, the most recent being November last year, but she referred me to the MH midwife to have me assessed and she didn't think it was necessary. Doesn't the MH midwife have more grounds to get SS involved for my mental health than she does? She's never even asked me how I am coping and feeling now!
I got very upset at this point and OH stepped in saying that he believed she was being very unfair deeming us unfit parents without even knowing anything about us (she didn't even know why I was there today). He told her that my treatment for my mental health stopped before christmas, which it did, and that surely if there was a problem with my mental health my GP would still be treating me for it and the MH midwife would have referred me. My midwife then said that because I've been referred to the local psychiatric team then obviously there is a problem and began to get VERY rude. I was in fact referred to the psychiatric team for a final assessment to put my treatment to a close officially. OH told her this and she started to trip over her words.
OH carried on saying that my treatment was over but that he was still on medication (anti-depressants) due to his Asperger's. She sprung on this and it was her next excuse for a referral to SS. By now OH and myself are both feeling highly insulted and I was very emotional for the way this woman, who doesn't even know us, was treating us. In the space of ten minutes she said that a referral to SS should be made because I can't attend appointments, we can't manage our money, I was depressed and suicidal and my partner has autism. I believe this is disgusting as only 1 of those things actually rings true!
After quite a heated discussion she agreed to not make the referral now but she has filled in a form to say that she is "concerned", which will flag up to every health professional I see.
I'm sorry for the rant I just believe that we have been unfairly treated today and do not believe that SS is necessary. I was hoping for you girls opinions?
Personally I'm so against SS involvement because once they're in they're in. And I don't want strangers snooping about in every aspect of mine, my partners and my daughters life for the next 16-18 years.
On Tuesday I had an appointment in London at King's College Hospital for a cardiac scan on Francesca to check if everything is ok as I was born with a minor heart defect. I did not attend this appointment due to lack of funds (it would have cost £60 for both my partner and I to get there) and also being ill and not wanting to travel that far. When we told my midwife this she started pushing for a referral to SS on the grounds that during my pregnancy I have now missed 2 appointments down to lack of funds. I asked how SS could help with funds as it is not budgetting we have trouble with, we just barely get enough money to survive on.
I told her that I was not happy with the referral and she started bringing up other excuses to refer us such as my previous mental health. Yes, I have suffered with sever depression and anxiety for over 10 years, yes, I have tried to take my own life twice, the most recent being November last year, but she referred me to the MH midwife to have me assessed and she didn't think it was necessary. Doesn't the MH midwife have more grounds to get SS involved for my mental health than she does? She's never even asked me how I am coping and feeling now!
I got very upset at this point and OH stepped in saying that he believed she was being very unfair deeming us unfit parents without even knowing anything about us (she didn't even know why I was there today). He told her that my treatment for my mental health stopped before christmas, which it did, and that surely if there was a problem with my mental health my GP would still be treating me for it and the MH midwife would have referred me. My midwife then said that because I've been referred to the local psychiatric team then obviously there is a problem and began to get VERY rude. I was in fact referred to the psychiatric team for a final assessment to put my treatment to a close officially. OH told her this and she started to trip over her words.
OH carried on saying that my treatment was over but that he was still on medication (anti-depressants) due to his Asperger's. She sprung on this and it was her next excuse for a referral to SS. By now OH and myself are both feeling highly insulted and I was very emotional for the way this woman, who doesn't even know us, was treating us. In the space of ten minutes she said that a referral to SS should be made because I can't attend appointments, we can't manage our money, I was depressed and suicidal and my partner has autism. I believe this is disgusting as only 1 of those things actually rings true!
After quite a heated discussion she agreed to not make the referral now but she has filled in a form to say that she is "concerned", which will flag up to every health professional I see.
I'm sorry for the rant I just believe that we have been unfairly treated today and do not believe that SS is necessary. I was hoping for you girls opinions?
Personally I'm so against SS involvement because once they're in they're in. And I don't want strangers snooping about in every aspect of mine, my partners and my daughters life for the next 16-18 years.