angry at midwife

[pregpixie76]

yesterday i had my booking app and 11 week scan.so lovley to see baby doing sumersaults and waving in the womb and the hb beating nicely.
i left and went to my mums and mw phoned asked if id like to see a SNIPS mw later in my preg because i have physical health issues and shes apparently more specialised.so i just said yes.
came home and oh decides to find out what a SNIPS mw does.um they deal with addictions and mental health issues and can get in touch with the likes of social work and child protection.naturally my oh was fuming and i was hurt confused and pissed off.i phoned the mw back explained id looked at the website and what they do and i didnt want to see one.she said the website looked worse than it was ( um i dont think official websites lie) and said we would talk about it the next time i see her.
A) i dont really wanna see her again.B) having dep or anxiety and health issues doesnt mke someone incompetent and C) why didnt she just tell me the truth about snips.
so many people are ignorant to MH issues.i'll cope just fine with a baby ive done it twice before.

 

[Squeakz]

id be pissed off too hun!! id just go and tell her you dont need snips mw hoever if you were to struggle you know where to go and thanks for the thought but PISS off xx

 

[babyem]

Mental Health covers a massive range of things, and I understand you must be upset and annoyed but I doubt she would have done it unless there was a reason? Mental Health is amassive taboo and just hearing those words can set false images and cause panic.

Hope it gets sorted x

 

[pregpixie76]

on the form it asks if u have ever done drugs yes i smoked hash in my 20s.it asks if youve ever had help from social work yes i have so she asked if id like to see them again cause they can get someone in to help me in the house ( no they cant carers only do personal care and the socialwork here doesnt have funds) she also told me the sure start maternity grant was avalable.um no not for those who arent having thier first kids or have kids under 16.
anyone with a lot of health problems and a chronic pain, fatigue condition and sleep disorders will feel down and depressed sometimes plus i have high blood pressure so im a high risk pregnancy.ive agree'd to see a CPN for mental health reasons but i dont sit there thinking hell im depressed and anxious its just a part of my life and not a huge deal.since ive had it for most of my life i know how to deal with it and when to seek help.im 35 not a scared first time mum.
i see more anxiety on the posts here than i experience in life.
babys are easy to cope with hormonal teens are another story lol

 

[misscrazycooki]

Hun its not that bad. I outlined I have depression from my first baby born and they are monitoring me also I have social workers involved with Leo. As me and partner have and a few issues with arguements.

By the way she was on about HOMESTART its where someone attends to your home and helps you out so you can have a break from your baby while you do housework etc. My sister has it and my friend. my friend mainly uses hers to visit polar palace a jungle gym type place. So she doesn't have to sit and play with her son just watch over the homestart person and her son. Who she thinks has behaviour problems he bites and hits other children

Its not all bad hunny I'm on the verge of having child protection placed on my son as my partner has had heated arguements with me ending up ringing the police as he is into smoking weed also. I mentioned I smoked it before getting pregnant and I don't wish to start up again. Just hope it all starts to improve I can't face losing my son because of my partner. But they are only trying to help you and monitor you incase you have a blip.

I was grateful once I started getting the help I needed from all the social and health care. As I felt first time mums were left in the dark alittle and ignored x

 

[cosmicgirl]

I'd boot out my partner if there was even a hint of a risk of my kids being taken from me or put on a child protection register x

 

[misscrazycooki]

He has agreed to leave if needs be he just needs to sort his head out. I suppose I didn't help as other night I told him I didn't love him but I can only say it because of his need for weed he really pissed me about the other day just so he could get his fix as soon as possible it really upset me that me and our son were farted about because of it. I do love him in a sense just think we need to rebuild it slowly, but I'm still waiting for his rehab to start. Stupid appointments take ages.

 

[cosmicgirl]

It must be really hard for you. I'd be petrified if anyone mentioned an at risk register or taking my kids, he'd be out of my house at the mere mention of it. He'd also be out because of the weed, he sounds like he needs to look at his priorities in a big way x

 

[misscrazycooki]

Yeah I'm not prefect I moan alot and I am stubborn so its hard for us both to get on most of the time. But they dicussed it with us even if it goes to the child protection it just means more meetings with them and more targets to complete and its on each individual so his behaviour and drugs doesn't reflect too badly on me as I know I'm trying to protect my son. If I kick off and moan at him about it he just bleets I'm repeating and dragging up the past. I spoke to my mum who just said to keep my head down with him and ignore it and try to stay calm for Leo as the arguements aren't good for him. Just so hard when I get so mad after he promises me then lets me down. Grrr MEN!

But I do love my social worker sally and health visitor they have helped me alot with how I handle things, I am very worry warty and all that I stress too much. So I'll be glad once my shrink is sorted out. x

 

[pregpixie76]

my mw is the same one i had during my first pregnancy.it was a bad pregnancy i went from being a very fit active person to someone who was in pain constantly and so fatigued i could barely drag myself out of bed and i got very depressed and anxious as hiking was my way of keeping my anxiety at bay and i could no longer do those things.so she keeps bringing up my first preg 16 yrs ago.i had social work involvment because i kept sleeping in for school ( i have sleep disorders and no real sleep pattern and i fail to go into the deep stages of sleep part of that is due to a condition called fibromyalgia.my kids are nearly 14 and 15 and i still have to haul thier asses out of bed in the morns which is quite difficult when u feel pukey and dont want to stress in the morns.but its the same shit everyday yet my youngest hates being late.we came off the socialwork order about 2 yrs ago then it was voluntary contact and i havent seen them since early last yr.bullying at school also played a huge part in things but they wernt concerned about my actual parenting.which is why im pissed at the midwife.whats past is past.i also only found out on friday i had high blood pressure at the end of both my pregnancy's.i dont understand why i wasnt informed about this or treated for it.at least this time round im fully aware of all my health problems and im being carefully monitored.i think i might change midwifes.i need to feel at ease with the person looking after me not worried about saying the wrong thing as im very open,but it seems i have a midwife whos made a judgment without all the facts.thank god i have a great gp and OB.

 

[babyem]

I don't think she's making judgements, just making sure there is help available should you need it.