so depressed :-(

[niknaks]

this is again about my oh's niece. her mum is now threatening to take her to brazil in nov and not letting her go to school, so oh wants to go there and bring her back home. hes her legal guardian and sees her like his daughter. i dont mind it if we had our own place, but for one we live with my mum at the moment and his niece calls him dad, also i just feel shes just gonna invade our space. and i just wanted a bit of time to myself with oh when leandros here, not even with my mum. im just so depressed and feel like crying. i know hes doing an amazing thing for her but i just wish we could have a bit of time to ourselves. and shes such a brat. shes always asking him for things we cant afford and whenever i say anything hes like dont get involved. i love him to bits but sometimes i feel like whenever we argue its always about her. i just feel so lost at the moment x

 

[Hemera]

oh dear - that is a hard situation to be in. You need to say to him that regardless of what he says you are involved as you and he are a family now and what he does regarding his niece affects you.

If possible try and arrange a get together with the niece's mum, your OH and you and just all talk about it calmly. If she wants to take her to Brazil then you need to make sure she will be going to school there and that its what she wants too. As long as its not a rash decision then all your OH will have to content with is missing her, but thats what skype and planes are for.

 

[suzzi]

i understand as my OH has kids he sees every other weekend and if i say anything about them not coming or going somewhere with out them he flips. We cant even take a holiday without them as he says its not fair if we take my kids that live with us and not his, so we go without while their mum and stepdad take them abroad and they get a holiday every year my kids go without!! i dont think thats fair.

id have a word and say although you know he loves her and is her legal guardian, its your house and life too and you have to put baby first so any desicions about her must be made as a couple,

hope you have more luck than i do. xx

 

[niknaks]

hemera- theres no point he just goes on about how shes been in his life longer. sometimes i think he feels that i want her out of it but he also doesnt realise that i want him happy. i just cant stand people i love and care about being used. and theres no way in hell her mum will agree with that. she hates any girl hes ever been with and especially me. she feels like since hes been with me hes not at her beck and call. she think im too controlling of him. which is rubbish. ive never once stopped him from seeng his niece. he feels like his niece wont have a good life there and everything. i know that school there are more harder on student which i think is better and the type of person she is itll do her better.

suzzi- its horrible isnt it. plus with you why is it ok for him to be like that and for your children to miss out but his to go out and enjoy themselves. its just so hard to talk to him when it involves her. he took her mum to court once with his ex because her mum wouldnt let him see her and he used to give them money and have her on weekends and all the rest, just like his cousin should have been doing, but her mum was an ungrateful bitch. now sometimes when i try to say something hell bring his ex up now im likw well she wasnt 7 months preg with your baby then he shuts up.

thanks girls for the advice. havent been feeling well today so docs said if i get worse to go hospital, so oh saidhes gonna try come early from work so just hoping he comes on his own :-s x