Single and Pregnant - Advice please

[safc_honey]

Hi guys,
So yesterday I found out that I'm around 5 weeks pregnant. It wasn't planned as the father and I are not together anymore and my pill decided to fail me. He is, however, my ex and we do still live together! I broke the news to him last night and he has made his views clear to me - that he's not ready to be a father yet. Problem is, I don't think I would be happy with having an abortion. He suffers with depression and I am so worried about what keeping this baby might do to him but I am also concerned about what a termination might do to me
I feel like I'm in such an awkward place right now and I am so scared about going alone throughout the whole pregnancy!
Does anyone have any advice or opinions please? X

 

[Beckyb1991]

Think yourself lucky you can get pregnant. I have been trying a long time with no no success. You need to do what is right for you not for him ... tell him if he doesnt want to be involved he doesnt have to be. You can do it alone. I know its hard but u have to do whats right for you. This could be you only chance to have a baby.. its a harsh thing to say but its true. Good luck hun x

 

[Muguboo]

I agree that whilst fathers should get a say in things - when it comes to yes or no about staying pregnant it has to be down to the woman to have 100% of the final say

However, saying that, it does mean that the decision has to allow for him to not be involved. If you're prepared for that to be the case then I would say go with your gut and have the baby, just ready yourself for how much work it will be on your own x

I know what id do but the decision has to be yours in the end x good luck

 

[babyem]

You need to really think about what you want. There are many options available. Its hard being a single mum but not impossible xx

 

[HopesDreams]

If you're ready & want to be a mum then do it. Being a single mum is hard work but like anything to do with kids, it's 100% worth it.
Though, if your ex doesn't want to be a father you can't factor him into your decision. Neither can you force him to be involved emotionally when the baby comes along.

 

[Loula]

I was 6 weeks when i found out and like you the father said get rid etc but i cidnt having had 2 scans and seeing a heartbeat.
So i decided at 8 weeks i was going my own way. Im not gonna lie the early days of having a newborn were very hard
screaming fits and noone to pass her to while i jad 5 mins to compose myself or to help at night
My pregnancy was perfect and enjoyed it soo much.
Alot to consider i was very naive ajd thought itd be easy.
Feel free to pm me if you want but its up to you its the most rewarding thing evrr x

 

[HopesDreams]

Such a similar experience to you Loula! Those early weeks of having so much to do but also having a baby that wants his mummy constantly. Sleep practically didn't exist.

 

[Mummybexee]

you can achieve anything if you put your mind to it- you have to go with your heart

Also it's against forum rules to discuss termination so something to bare in mind

 

[pips]

I also think you should do what you feel is right for you. However I would also recommend you seek legal advice to check where you stand in this situation, so that if he decides to make your life difficult you can fight back knowing exactly what you're doing.

I'm saying this because my daughter's father suddenly decided he might be interested, after saying he wasn't ready, when she was born. You need to know your rights.

In fact he may just come round once he's had a good think about things, but if he doesn't, just enjoy your pregnancy! Personally, I enjoyed being a single mum. I was able to do things how i wanted and when I wanted, and now my daughter is 8 and we are ever so close. Good luck with all of that

 

[rhythmdivine]

Hey I'm in a similar situation to you, except the relationship was really a non-relationship from the get-go.
Told him at 6 weeks, he sent text messages at 7 weeks saying it wasn't what he wanted.. that's the last I heard.
I'm nearly 33 weeks, spent the first 20 or so crying and panicking, saw the scans and couldn't even think about not keeping it (her, as it turns out)
Now I already barely spare a thought for him. Am enjoying being pregnant and looking forward to the birth of my first baby girl.
I'm not saying this is the right decision for everyone, and I go up and down, there are times I feel very content or deeply scared and depressed. But I trust it will turn out ok.
Follow your heart, just try to figure out what it is you want and how you will view this decision in 5, 10, 20 years time. Whether he is around or not.
Good luck xx