Hi - pregnant, single and struggling

[Georgie0]

Hi guys, I'm new

I'm 17 weeks pregnant and 25. I live with my (fantastically supportive) parents and this has been a HUGE shook to the system as i thought i couldn't have children and tbh had accepted that. I have an ex boyfriend i have known for 3 years. The original relationship didn't last long due to his lifestyle (very much a party animal and at the time popping pills like polo's.) although we have remained friends. In a moment of weakness i went to see him for the first time in 2 years and obviously got pregnant.
I told him immediatly and he told me that he didn't want a child (bit late now!) but supported my decision to keep it. Which was a very difficult one to make! I understand that and have kept everything on a very even keel as i don't want to rock the boat in case he withdraws support completely, but i am finding it very hard knowing i am really, really struggling, both emotionally and financially and he is off partying and wasting a huge amount of money every weekend. Then i feel massivly guilty for being so selfish!
I just feel so down at the thought that alot of women go through this with someone by their side to be excited with them, to pamper them and to enjoy everything that goes with pregnancy and i don't have that. It isn't related to Ed at all, i never had a serious relationship with him and certainly wouldn't want that now. My parents are wonderful but we are all so stressed for money etc that life is hard. we all work hard and i work with horses so ache constantly!
Sorry for the rant, but AARGGH!! Does this get better!?!
to everyone here.

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

massive hun! it does get easier! my two's dad is a waste of space, he's constantly out drinking and whatnot too, whilst i'm struggling! i think you just kinda accept it eventually! i know how hard it is tho, we didnt split up til i was 36 weeks pregnant with my 2nd, but i pretty much went thru it alone anyway!xx

 

[Poxie_pixie]

My littleone's dad is in a metal band and like u he was an ex when we conceived, i'm only 18 and really struggling. I went through the whole pregnancy on my own hun trust me it's worth it at the end. just think your lo will be all urs. =) x

 

[Elfs Mummy]

Im 19 and single Mummy to Maisie, i promise you its all worth it! Just think you get choice in everything names, how you want your lo raised etc yes its tough and theres times where i want to scream and cry but i would never change Maisie for the world she is an amazong little girl and i know that because its just me and her we are going to have an amazing bond so it really is all worth it ! xx

 

[Georgie0]

Thanks girls, feeling so much better already having found somewhere i can chat to people! Who needs deadbeat, hopeless men anyhow!?! Can't wait to find out wether the bean is blue or pink!!

 

[Oddball]

it may have been a difficult decision but no one ever regrets keeping a baby.

 

[suzzi]

hi georgio

im 37 now and pregnant with my 3rd baby, i had my other kids at 21 and 22, i left their dad when the youngest was 11 months old, he was violent, i struggled alot but had a fantastic family for support, you have your good days and bad days but knowing your doing the best for your child and that they love you gets you through it. dont worry about what your ex is doing thats his life, you have something much more exciting happening, i was single for about 10 years before i met my OH, my kids are now doing so well at school oldest is getting A's & B's in his GCSEs and want to go to Uni, he is polite confident and friendly, the youngest is quite shy but also doing well at school, but i am so proud of them and knowing that i brought them up alone and they turned out to be well adjusted loved teenagers that have not given me a days worry its all worth it, and to those people who look down on single mother, take a look at my kids !!!!!

 

[ippa]

I have a 12 week old baby, his dad was a friend of mine, and he is totally useless, has only seen Matthew twice now! And he has bought him a cot and that it!
Like everyone else has said it is definately worth it! Matthew is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me!
My parents like yours are very supportive, I couldn't have don't it all without them! The main advice i can give is accept any help people (especially you parents) offer, as even if they look after the baby for an hour or so, just so you can sleep is a god send! And don't think you have to do it all by yourself, you will find some days difficult and wish the dad was around but don't get embarrassed to ask for help if you need it!
My baby came 5 weeks early, and I had a c-section, so I moved back to my parents for the 6 weeks after so I could heal and because I couldn't drive for that time!
I hope everything goes well for you, and soon you shall have a beautiful little baby to love!
XxX

 

[rere]

My sperm doner cause thats all he deserves to be named broke up over a text knowing i was pregnant ect his friends wud buly me saying that my son wud have disorders ect and were very disrespectful everythin my son has the late night hugs to the clothes on his back are all from me and tbh i wouldnt have it any other way you cope alot better alone than u would with someone that brings u down if i had stayed with him i think i wud be gettin scraped off the floor x

 

[Kirstieplus1]

When my OH found out I was pregnant he said that if I kept the baby he would leave me but if I had an A then he would stay with me.
Im so scared of being a single mum...

 

[Kirstieplus1]

Georgio - I am in exactly the same position as you.

If you want to talk/email I would like that.

Just posted my own thread explaining my story (am i doing the right thing?)

 

[louloubelle76]

Im 35 and split up with the dad a week before I found out I was pregnant, Ive tryed contacting him a number of times but I have had no response out of him what so ever and he is 36, not matter what age they are they are all still pratts.

I am very scared of doing this alone, I know family and friends will be great but would have been nice that the dad was around.

I know it will be worth it in the end

 

[Georgie0]

Its getting alot better, i think the shock is going now lol! just occasionally i think how nice it would be to be doing this with someone, but its usually about 9 o'clock in the evening when someone to rub my back and make me a cuppa would be bliss!

 

[ippa]

How are you feeling about it all now hun?
XxX

 

[Georgie0]

chilled! Getting very impatient as i hate being less than 100% able, and slightly scared, but ok. I've done my bit and let the d*ck, sorry, Dad know whats happening but all is good!

 

[ippa]

Good! Glad your more chilled about it all!
Yea it gets a bit like that, but it's all worth it in the end!
And as for the dad, how did he take it all? Is he going to be involved?
XxX

 

[Georgie0]

well.... Turns out, when i was about 20 weeks i saw on facebook he had been 'tagged' in his ex GF's scan picture. It would seem Ed is attempting to populate the planet all by himself lol! He had a son when i was about 7 months along. He is now back with his ex and is being doting Daddy. Oh, he has also lost his job, been in a head on car accident (apparently he let his friend drive his car. My guess is they were all p*ssed as newts) and has been to court for common assault on his friend! (3 month sentance, suspended for 12 months, £300 fine and 200 hrs com. service) I really know how to pick 'em lol!
With regards to Ava bean, apparently it is up to me to decide if i want him in her life. So now i have to balance telling him he is a useless, feckless, eijit and to take a long jump off a short pier and risk her not understanding when she is older, or actually having this g*t near my daughter when i don't think he will be the most reliable Dad in the world. I think personally she is better off without him in her life and i don't want her growing up with THAT as a role model. My parents have said i don't have to worry about keeping him around if i don't want to because of finances, that we can manage perfectly well without him.
Apart from that, its all good! he he!

 

[leannesxb]

I was a single mum with my first. He told me he was over the moon when we found out I was pregnant then within 2 weeks rapidly lost interest. I was incredibly lucky I had supportive parents and amazing family and mates. Although I am looking forward to now ttc with my OH I feel lucky to have known that the amazing child Dylan is was all my doing. Love to all you strong positive ladies doing it on your own. xxxx

 

[ippa]

oh wow, definately sounds like you are better off without him hun! Sounds like a right arse!
And yea financially you will be ok, I dont get anything for Matthew and we survive! He will still never go without!
And trust me hun, if I can do it then you can to!
XxX