Sick of team termination!!!!

[So_hopeful81]

Hi,

This is just a quick rant to explain how utterly fed up I am of so called friends who keep trying to force 'options' down my throat.

Ever since we found out that our daughter has Downs syndrome on Friday, me and my oh have had so called friends pushing the right to abort down our throats. Today I have had it so often.... I am fed up! Do these people seriously not think that if that was what we had chosen to do, it would have been organised by now!

I would never judge someone for thst decision if they were in our situation- so why are these people judging us for not making that decision? What gives them the right to keep pushing and pushing and pushing!!!! I've had enough of it! All we want is support!

I have been in tears tonight over it. One of my oh's mates, who I have now told my oh is never ever allowed to meet my daughter now, even had The audacity tonight to send my oh a text saying he wants to talk without me around sometime this week - as he can't believe that we've really thought this through!!!! Does he seriously think we've thought of anything else since we had the news of high risk the first day! Unbelievable! Then he went on to explain that he actually gives a f@*k about my oh ( I think insinuating that I don't!!!!) and that did we have any idea what this would do to my 4 year old!

I am devastated by people at the moment! They sicken me!!!! I love my daughter growing inside of my tummy! Downs syndrome has not changed that love at all!!!!

 

[l_maclean]

Dont really know what to say - but didnt want to read an run.

You guys make the decision that both of you feel is right for you and your family. Everyone else will just have to deal with it - no doubt there will always be some who are determined your doing the wrong thing - but no matter what you'd decided you'd never please them all.


xxx

 

[jojo_2012]

I hope your OH isn't considering going to see that mate of his. It's your decision, as long as you've looked at the facts nobody can judge you. Any one of us could have something happen to our so called "normal" children at any time, doesn't mean we'd want to get rid of them.

 

[Lilelephant]

How anyone can not respect a decision like this is not worth worrying about!
u think it is s wonderfully brave decision and ppl should support u and ur OH. Xxx

 

[lanny]

What horrible people, uses have made your minds up to keep your little girl and people should be happy for you.
I also wouldn't let anyone see her who has said these things, when she's here I bet she will make anybody's heart melt that looks at her and it will be them that's missing out. Good luck hun xxxx

 

[x_larlybelle_x]

Some people don't know when to keep quiet. If they take that view then fine, but they should respect ur decision. As u say, u have thought about it long and hard and u both have amazing courage and strength and r daughter will be proud to call u her parents.

These so called friends should respect ur decision and support u, not force anther one down ur throats.

It's at times like tear u discover who ur real friends r xx

 

[Lulabell]

Truly sickening behaviour. You and your oh are amazingly strong. Your little girl is blessed to have your both as parents! Don't let anyone get you down about this. This is yours n OHs decision, nothing to do with anyone else. Well done both of you!xx

 

[Sleepy sue]

So sorry your not getting the support you so deserve. I suppose in this situation you find out who your friends are!!!
Really hope you have some decent Friends who respect your decision x x

 

[Pickledonions]

thats awful! This was one of the reasons we opted out of screening because downs would have made no impact on whether to continue with the pregnancy i would love my little boy no matter what! I think its disgusting that people have the cheek to even comment at all its your baby your choice. For what its worth i think you have made an inbredably brave and thoughtless desision theres no reason at all that your little girl having downs should affect your other child at all. You will still treat and love them both equally im sure. Im quite shocked that people still take the views they do.

 

[1986princess]

How awful, it is ur decision and oh to love and care
For hour baby regardless. Some people are ruthless and don't think about what they are saying. Stay strong xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

That is awful behaviour, it's horrible. Your beautiful girl will bring joy to your life, you so called friends can just do one x

 

[Applecider]

they should respect ur decision, hope u ok xx

 

[Kerrykins]

I am absolutely shocked that people can be like that - I certainly wouldn't class them as friends if they had that attitude with me. Forget they exist, all that matters now is your family - including the little girl in your tummy that is waiting to meet her Mummy and Daddy.

I'm the same as Pickled Onions - we decided to have no screening at all as there was no way we would abort anyway, it's just not in my make-up to be able to do that. If one or both of my twinnies have any issues at all, it won't effect how much I love them..........

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

hey sweetie, i never took the downs test for either of my pregnancies and though Jasper is not downs, it would not have changed me wanting to be his mama

Read a book called 'Expecting Adam' if you can, its about a very clever lady who falls pregnant whilst at Harvard University and has a little downs baby who changes her life

One quote from it that i remember very clearly is this

'All your babies will teach you to stop and smell the roses, a downs child will teach you how to smell the bushes too' Because they are SO honed in to the simpler things in life. Very very special people.

I cant help you deal with arseholes, because i would just end up getting angry with them to be honest! But i hope that you realise there are lots like you who would still carry a downs baby because they have a beautiful life and are wonderful little souls.

wishing you all the best xx

 

[keepontrying]

Oh my good god! how bloody dare they, if a child suffered from lack of oxygen at birth, was born prematurely, got into an accident at the age of 2, had a stroke at 30 etc etc would they suggest you simply disowned your child.....

You and your OH must stick together in the face of adversity, sod the doubters... they are clearly shallow. Just because they deem your baby as not being socially 'perfect' they think you should simply erase her and rewrite your plans!!

I know each and every time some one says anything like this to either of you, you both retaliate with a answer that portrays your solidarity and strength.

Unfortunately you may well be experiencing a taste of things to come , its a shame fact that a lot of people in this world are terribly uncomfortable and unaccepting of difference, however its how you respond to these people that sets you a standard above.

I would make the same decision as you, because my child would be meant to be... So hugs to you both and your beautiful little girl growing safely inside xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Cazzlou]

I wouldnt class them as friends - friends support you and accept any decision you make. It's ok them saying this but if this was them in the same scenario I'm sure they would have different thoughts.
How old are they??!! 70? This is the mentality of the older generation who don't know what's available and how children with ds can lead happy healthy lives.

If you want any sites etc let me know and I'll ask my mum for you.

Ds babies are so cute can't wait to see her pic when she arrives x

 

[So_hopeful81]

Thank you everyone!
You are all wonderful amazing people! I have just sent each of your msgs to my oh at work! Hopefully they will lift his spirits as much as they've lifted mine. Xxx

 

[littlemuffin]

You stay with us, and we can all tell you that if you think you are doing the right thing for you and your family, then you are.

You are so brave, and have so much love. Don't listen to them, I know it's hard, but they don't know what you are going through, they don't have the baby inside you.

 

[roxane 1985]

if its any help at all ive always known that if i was to discover that my baby had downs there isstill no way i would abort it,

the reeason for this is look at the majority of people with downs, they can still lead a really good life, and do pretty much everything that anyone else can do.

obviously at the end of the day is completely upto you and your partner what you decide to do as it wont be easy, but its not easy looking after a completely healthy child anyway.

just remember, they can still play,learn, go to school, have an active social life, my god loads of them even work and get married, to me they are no different to anyone else xx

 

[titch]

People are so ignorant it really winds me up. Im so sorry people are making you face this when all you should be thinking about is your lovely baby. Does your OHs mate think that a child with downs syndrome has a terrible life? That the families of people with Downs syndrome suffer? My dads sister has downs and we really dont have a terrible life, there is no burden, shes part of our family. She needs a high level of support, mostly due to poor early life experiences and being too cared for (not encouraged to do things herself) but she receives that support from professionals and a fab share house she lives in. We dont have to take on her 'care' so we're just a normal family. Ill PM you a pic of us lot at christmas last year, sums it up perfectly xxxx