Sex after birth

[Rainbow1234]

My daughter is 13 weeks old now and up until this point sex has been the least of my worries but last night we decided to do it and it was agony. TMI but we couldn't even get it in without it being really painful. I had an episiotomy and stitches which were infected and took weeks to heal. Has anyone got experience of this? I'm so worried that this'll be how it is forever x

 

[Browneyed Girl]

I don't have any reassurance I'm afraid but am stalking for responses. My lo is 20 weeks old and I had an episiotomy as well - I had a tough recovery and was in a lot of pain for about 2 weeks after. I haven't even attempted sex but did use a tampon (sorry if tmi!) a couple of days ago - getting it in wasn't too bad but i had to take it out after 20 mins as it was getting sore and getting it out wasn't fun. I'm in no doubt I can't have sex yet but would love to know when this gets better! Do you still have pain? I don't have pain as such but it's uncomfortable sometimes xx

 

[Rainbow1234]

It's awful isn't it? I dont really have pain anymore but those first few weeks were terrible, I couldn't sit and couldn't walk. Generally I feel normal so was really surprised last night with how painful it was are u still in pain day to day? X

 

[kaz1983]

when i had my little girl i think it was about 4 weeks after we attempted sex for the first time obviously using protection as I hadnt quite got back onto the pill but it was a bit like doing it for the first time sorry tmi i was so nervous and jumpy I had an episiotomy aswell so know the pain and struggles your going through mines didnt get infected so cant imagine how you must feel xx

 

[russellmuscle]

I had an epi and grade 2 tear.

I got an initial couple checks over by the MW/HV who says I was healing fine.

During the early days I just had baths with arnica oil, TCP and salt.

We DTD from like 4w with no issues..

I would perhaps speak to your GP if it continues past any length of time.

xxxx

 

[El1en]

I had an episiotomy to so I know the pain of that. I was lucky though I got myself up and moving and healed quite quick. We attempted sex at 4 weeks but didn't finish as it was too painful. We only really tried it as it was my birthday. We tried again at 6 weeks for his birthday and it was still painful. After that we just kept trying and thankfully by about 11 weeks all was back to normal for us.

The only advice I can give is keep trying, it does get better and as hard as it is try and relax. Being tense will just make it worse.

Try and have lots of cuddles and kisses and just be gentle with each other. I was having sex right up until the day I gave birth and hated those weeks without it, I just really missed the intimacy as my oh isn't really the cuddly type unless it will lead to something.

The most important thing is don't feel pressured. You'll get there! I honestly don't know anyone who never had sex again!

 

[Rainbow1234]

Thanks Everyone. Ellen that's so true, I don't know anyone who can't physically have sex so Ill have to just keep trying x

 

[Smileygirl]

I had an episiotomy (it healed well, no complications) and to be honest, things have never been quite the same! �� Sorry, I'm sure I'm not in the majority but just thought I'd share my experience. I'd say after 9 months, things were a lot better though. I saw my doctor about it and they referred me - the issue is with sensitivity around the scar tissue and they offered me an injection to decrease sensitivity. I declined as we plan to have a second baby and thought I would see how things were after that. I was also a bit scared about a desensitising injection in that area... ��

 

[Rachyroo]

I had an episiotomy and grade 3 tear. We tried after 10 weeks and it was horrendous. We have kept at it trying once a fortnight or so and finally have just this week managed it and it was enjoyable and not painful. My lo is 24 weeks now! I think with that kind of damage it really can just take time unfortunately. Just be patient and use lots of lubrication!

 

[MysticTeen]

My friend has an epsiotomy, had sex at 6 weeks and was fine!
I had 2nd degree tears on the inside, I had sex at like 11 weeks pp and it killed. Dr said I had healed and the more sex I have the quicker it will feel better. I am now 4 months and 8 days pp and sex can get uncomfortable if he is too rough.

 

[TTT]

I had an episiotomy and sex was very painful. I bled heavily for about 7 weeks after so it was probably 12 weeks or something when we tried. My scar tissue was very hard and not at all supple and that was my.problem. Over time it has softened and sex is enjoyable again now. It took me about 7 months id say to feel totally.comfortable. Google painful scar tissue after episiotomy and there are massages you can do. I didn't, who has time.lol, but there are things you can do.

 

[Bellarina]

I had an episiotomy and had 2 infectionsat same time within couple days of having him.
Sex was extremely painful and I would tear and bleed to the point where after just over a year I had to go to gp...immediately referred me to gynaecologist...took a while to be seen (month before jakes 2nd birthday) and got me in fairly quickly (3 months) for an operation. I had alot of internal scar tissue that he took away. Should have been straightforward after that but no, ended up with infection beause nurse left swabbing inside me and didn't remove it all before I left hospital. But he the operation was September...it's still painful having sex but I don't tear or bleed anymore. I'm hoping when we eventually have another baby itl be a bit easier (fingers crossed). I probably haven't helped much but that's been my experience.
If you are worried I recommend seeing your gp sooner rather than later as feel I left it too long and suffered in silence (and poor hubby) xx