Sex after baby

[Cazza]

Each to their own, do it as and when you feel ready and don't let anyone pressure you!

 

[LaurenMM]

I think I felt ready about 10 weeks after the birth I think. I felt ready and it did hurt a bit but only because we hadn't done since I was 36 weeks pregnant. I think I was a bit frightened of getting pregnant again, self concious because I've put weight on and gained ALOT of stretch marks. Also, OH was on top and after a while my section scar started hurting so I was get off lol its a lot better now, we only do it once every 2 weeks due to tiredness mainly I think but we do other things which are intimate. I mean, docs recommend you don't do anything till your 6 week check and I was still bleeding at this time... how is that safe or hygenic?! No wonder women feel so pressured and self concious when people like this silly cow saying we 'should' be doing this and that. Do it when you're ready!!! xx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I think it should be when u feel ready.. Everyone is body conscious and muff conscious! A baby's just come out there and we worry it will be like the grand canyon!! Once you've broken the ice it's fine.. The first time is like the fear u have losing ur virginity!! OH and I were really arsey with each other and always stressed and everything about him annoyed me to the point I wondered if we were going to last.. Then we had sex and it all went back to normal it was strange! We both felt closer to each other and happier, more comfortable.. He never pressured me to do it.. It was about 5/6weeks.. Noone should be pressured.. It's hard not to pressure yourself even if OH isn't as we feel guilty they have to go without for so long! Especially as we had a preterm labour scare at 33w we didn't have sex after that in case it brought it on.. And when it wa safe (37w) we still didn't do it even up to 39w coz he wanted my labour to start naturally lol!

Do what feels right

 

[Sarah13]

Should def be when you feel ready, there's enough bloody pressure on new mums as it is from these so called 'experts'. Your sex life is nobody's business but yours and we are all different. She obviously has no clue what so ever as even if we're healed down there there is often more important things going on like looking after a new baby to be feeling sexy! I mean most of us have body hang ups before pregnancy and giving birth let alone after! It takes a while to feel comfy in your own skin again and for your body not to be ruled by a baby. I find breast feeding has caused my sex drive to be at an all time low just now, which I feel bad enough about as it is without some know it all saying I should be at it again like before! I know your sex drive chops and changes throughout your life and I think giving birth and a new baby are one of the times it will naturally drop. Mother Nature is very clever as it knows how hard two babies would be to look after so gives us a bit of time to get our body's ready again by lowering our sex drives for a bit. There are still many ways to express love and affection to our partners without having to have sex as soon as giving birth!

 

[Hunnie]

I partly agree and think it should be sooner rather than later but I only say that from my experience and havent experienced a tear or needing stitches which I can imagine makes a huge difference.

In my situation me and OH were at each others throats all the time and once we had dtd we were completely back to normal again and got on a lot better whilst coping with the stresses of having a new baby as we were a team again and had remembered why we love each other so much.

I also think the longer you leave it, the longer you're going to keep up with the same excuses and it will just make it worse for when the excuses run out. In short I think it starts to become an irrational fear that once overcome will go away as long as the experience is positive. I've just done a load of psychology work and I'm sure this technique is called flooding which behaviourists use?

 

[redbear]

Im a bit sex mad so me and DH have been having sex almost everyday since i was 15, all the way through pregnancy and the lot, i had tears but they healed afte 10 days so 3 week after i had LO we did it, been doing it ever since (with condoms) i know its not good but i was so god dam horney! I realise im very strange and not normal but if i had to wait any longer i would have fallen out with DH because i was so stressed.
I wouldn't want to be pushed into it tho i think thats wrong.

 

[Hunnie]

Im a bit sex mad so me and DH have been having sex almost everyday since i was 15, all the way through pregnancy and the lot, i had tears but they healed afte 10 days so 3 week after i had LO we did it, been doing it ever since (with condoms) i know its not good but i was so god dam horney! I realise im very strange and not normal but if i had to wait any longer i would have fallen out with DH because i was so stressed.
I wouldn't want to be pushed into it tho i think thats wrong.

Same situation for us. I was gagging for it haha oops. Xx

Have to say I don't think it's a good think for her to publish what she's said though as I'm sure there are women who might not be ready now experiencing a lot of grief from their OHs after reading what has been written which is completely unfair.

 

[redbear]

Im a bit sex mad so me and DH have been having sex almost everyday since i was 15, all the way through pregnancy and the lot, i had tears but they healed afte 10 days so 3 week after i had LO we did it, been doing it ever since (with condoms) i know its not good but i was so god dam horney! I realise im very strange and not normal but if i had to wait any longer i would have fallen out with DH because i was so stressed.
I wouldn't want to be pushed into it tho i think thats wrong.

Same situation for us. I was gagging for it haha oops. Xx

Have to say I don't think it's a good think for her to publish what she's said though as I'm sure there are women who might not be ready now experiencing a lot of grief from their OHs after reading what has been written which is completely unfair.

Glad its not just me - no i think she should have left it to the doctors when its 'safe' not put pressure on women, its not right it is always the womans choice and if they want to take there time then there is nothing wrong with that! x