Sensitive baby

[Mildly]

My LO seems to be quite a sensitive little soul and I was wondering the best way to handle this. For the last couple of weeks ever since he really started to smile at me and follow me around the room with eyes, he seems to get upset if anyone else holds him. I have taken him round to my parents at least a couple of times a week, so next to OH and myself he has probably seen them the most. My Mum is disabled so has to hold him whilst sitting down and he pretty much starts to cry within seconds. She is quite frail so doesn't really hold him with confidence either and he wriggles a lot too. He does much prefer to be held and walked around which obviously she can't do. He is slightly better with my Dad as he will walk him around but he will only be happy for 5 minutes or so before he starts to cry. I think my Mum is starting to take it personally (she has a bit of depression too). As he is so young, I'm thinking it is probably a phase that he is going through so was just wondering if anyone else has experienced it with their LOs? When he cries I tend to take him off them (when I know he is really starting to cry) as their attempts to soothe him make him worse. After he is all calm again I tend to hand him back to them to hold (so end up doing this about three or four times during the visit). Should I be handing him back if it is just going to upset him. I also find it quite stressful when he cries as I get the feeling that my Mum is judging my parenting, in some way blaming something I've done that makes him so attached to me (probably paranoid on that count ).

All in all, I am quite happy to accept him as a sensitive, shy little soul - I just don't want to stress him out needlessly but forcing him to be held. We go out to two baby groups each week and are quite often out and about doing shopping and other things so it isn't as if he needs more socialisation/stimulation I don't think. Also when he isn't crying from colic and is in a good mood, I get loads of smiles and giggles.

Any thoughts or experiences would be welcomed

 

[daftscotslass]

It's probably just a phase and totally normal. They go through phases of being all smiles for everyone and then screaming if anyone who is not mum or dad looks at them. We found Becky quite sensitive at that age and she came out of it but now she is quite wary of other people again. It's not so much if she's spoken to by someone strange to her but moreso if she's held by them for too long - she always looks back to see where I am!

At that age they're kind of starting to realise there's a big wide world around them rather than just mummy so I suppose it can seem a bit scary! Nothing to worry about

 

[Jynann]

Kayleigh is the same - this only started about 2 months ago but is a bit of a nightmare cos like you say i worry people take it personally. What i tend to do with Kayleigh and it is working is just let her work people out a little bit first. She was like this with her granny cos she tended to come right up to her as soon as she walked into the room and start cooing at her and went to pick her up straight away which i think scared her cos she would look at me, then back at granny, then me again then the tears would start. Now when anyone comes round or if we go anywhere I jsut tell them to leave her for half an hour or so and Kalyeigh just stares at them and within half an hour she is confident enough to let anyone pick her up..........I even tell people to ignore her for a few minutes so she can get used to them before they give her any sort of attention and then she is fine. I'm pretty confident it is just a phase tho - as annoying as it is

 

[Mildly]

Thanks for the replies It's interesting to hear other people's experiences.

It would be nice if it was a bit of a phase as come Christmas Day OH and I are meant to be cooking the roast and I think the rest of the family are hoping to have constant cuddles. However if he is still a shy boy I will just keep him with me until he feels happy enough to be passed around a little.

 

[Charlie:-)]

Maia went through a similar stage where she would cry if anyone else held her except for me & hubby.

It did pass as quickly as it appeared so I'm sure it is just a phase.

 

[Redshoes]

I got comfort from a book called the high-need baby, or fussy baby book, I've forgot the exact title.. Isaac was a screamer and was always on me, he wasn't very good with others and a friend with lots of baby experience said she'd never known such a sensitive baby. He is still sensitive, but also independant and confident in himself. Sensitive babies grow into very capable young people because they are so intune with their surroundings, and aware of what they do and don't like, you always know what they're feeling and they're not afraid to tell you

Everyone always judges a Mother if her baby cries/misbehaves/doesn't sleep through blah blah blah if you are happy with him and he likes you I think the future is bright and in the meantime just do what you're comfortable with, if he doesn't like to be held by others yet then always take him back, the idea that others can calm him isn't true, he decides when he's calm so don't upset yourself thinking others should hold him all the time. Very best wishes, we have little family and friends and Isaac was with me/me and OH about 90% of the time and I never let people make me feel wrong for it, Isaac is an adjusted, polite, happy child, with the toddler tantrums haha he's perfectly normal