Second child - how did first child react?

[Bexie]

I am expecting my second child and my DD will be 22 months when the new arrival makes their appearance. My DD is a real mummy's girl and throughout my pregnancy I have been a little worried about how she is going to react to having someone else in the family who takes away some of the attention.

Has anyone got any helpful advice on how their first coped with having a new sibling?

What did they do to prepare them?

I think at the moment Phoebe is a little too young to understand that I am pregnant, but who knows how much theyr really understand.

 

[Snuggle]

I'd like to know others replies to this too as we are going to TTC number 2 soon and Maddison is a real Mummy's girl too

 

[Babylicious]

Well Paris was 7 and although she wasn't keen at first she's fine now. Expect some clingyness/tantrums once baby arrives but it should settle down pretty quick as long as they get mummy time too.

 

[sarah113]

my first was only nearly 13 months when i had my 2nd but she seemed ok with her, my first was good with all of them when i had them, she keeps asking me now when is baby in your tummy coming out, shes really looking forward to another brother/sister

 

[Rachel]

Nathan is two and Kieran is 3 weeks old now.

Nathan had always been a right mummys boy and had all my attention for the first two years of his life so I thought he wasn't going to react very well to the baby but he's been brilliant.

At first he just looked at the baby then went off to play with his toys in a bit of a mood and he was abit off with me. The next day when he seen the baby he went up to the babys pram and went 'baba' lol. Since then he's been fine, keeps going upto Kieran saying baby and baba, he gives him kisses now aswell and tries helping me wind baby and watching me breastfeeding him ect.

While I was pregnant I took him to my appointments, let him listen to babies heartbeat and try and get him to feel my belly while baby was moving (he was never interested though lol) He didn't really understand about the pregnancy though so it was still a suprise for him.

Can't believe how good he has been with Kieran though

 

[bunnymom1980]

I think that you should never make your first child feel like they are being brushed off or their needs aren't as important when the baby comes.

My son is 10 so he's dead excited. My friends son was 3 when she had her 2nd and they bought him a present and said it was from the baby and lots of people bought for him aswell as the baby so he didn't feel left out.

 

[Xena]

Lydia was 22 months old as well when Alex was born.

When my tummy became noticably big (which was fairly early into the pregnancy actually) we mentioned to her that mammy had a baby in her tummy, but we didn't bring it up a lot - it was just to explain why my tummy was getting so big.
Also she used to jump on me a lot so we had to tell her to stop leaping onto my belly and be a bit more careful.

As it got nearer the time - about a month or so before the birth, we started talking regularly about the baby. We had pretty much settled on the name Alex, so we would say that baby Alex was coming soon. We\d tell her about babies and what they do (cry, sleep etc), and we were telling her that he would be very small and not be able to do much at first so we'd have to do lots of things for him and that she'd be able to help like a big girl.
We got her involved when we bought things for him (nappies, clothes etc) and made a fuss of her when she seemed interested.

When I went to the hospital to be induced, she went to stay at my friend Amy's house for 2 nights. She knew that we would be bringing Alex home and Amy got her to draw a picture for me and a picture for Alex to welcome him.

When she met him for the first time we told her how happy Alex was to meet her and how he loved her and that she was now a big sister and that's a very special thing to be. We tried to keep her as involved as possible.
She was quite shy of him when she first met him - she was nervous about touching him and wouldn't give him a hug or a kiss or anything - not that she didn't like him, she did, but she was shy (which I guess is understandable - he was essentially a stranger to her).

After a few days though she gained more confidence around him. We encourage her to give him a hug and a kiss good morning and good night every day, and she tells him she loves him and we tell her that he loves her too. It's true - they absolutely adore each other. You should see Alex's face light up when he sees her, and they are always making each other laugh. Lydia spontaneously gives him hugs and kisses all the time now, and tells him she loves him.

She does have an annoying habit of taking toys off him whilst he's playing with them, when she suddenly decides she wants to play with that specific toy. We're always telling her off for not sharing. But it's only a minor thing - they do get along with each other very well.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

My son stephen was just turned 3 when Imogen arrived. He was fasinated with her when he came to visit mummy in hospital but was very put out when i brought the tiny thing hom and she cryed and screamed and he ewasnt amused!

Please bear in mind though that he also has Autistic spectrum disorder.

He was confused and upset for a couple of week and even hit my newborn daughter and telling a child that it was naughty when they have limited understanding is very difficult.

But he soon settled down and i made time for him when she was sleeping.

There the best of buddies now and she adores him - he trys with her but she isnt a boy and cant walk yet so shes boring to him

 

[Bexie]

Thank you all so much for your advice, it's a great help.

I did plan on buying a present from the baby to Phoebe and also helping Phoebe choose one for the baby.

Little things like telling phoebe how much the baby loves her is a great idea, not something I had previously thought of. I will def be putting some of these ideas into action closer to the time.

Thanks once again xx