Returning to work

[Mummyof3tobe]

Hi ladies,

I had my d&c yesterday and all went ok. Everybody I dealt with were all so lovely, kind and considerate and they gave me a sick note for work for 7 days.


For those that work that have suffered losses, how long did you take off work? I appreciate everybody's situ/emotional dealings are different. I am just interested how long you felt you needed off or whether you wanted to quickly get back to normal routine.


Part of my concerns with taking longer off is my colleagues quizzing me with what was wrong. Silly irrational concern I know but it has crossed my mind. Also, I have lots of important deadlines next week and I'm stressing that I will not be prepared because I've been off this week.


Physically I think I'd be ok for Monday but I don't think I mentally want to or should go in Monday ....

 

[Natalilly1288]

I didn't have to have a d & c but I waited for my bleeding to stop and went straight back it was hard but I needed to go back and take my mind off it rather than sat on settee in pjs crying all day but its really up to how you feel there has been times I thort I maybe should have given myself a bit more time but found it did help to take my mind off it as my partner was unable to have time off and u was in my own xxx

 

[can]

hi, sorry for your loss. I was in exactly the same situation, I chose to go straight back to work as I wanted to push myself and get back to "Normal" It was extremely hard and I was a wreak that week, looking back I think I should have taken the week off to mentally recover as it took me a long time to get over 2nd mc. You just have to choose whats best for you. Sorry again

 

[scn]

I laboured and delivered at 13 weeks 2 days followed by a D&C for retained placenta on the 7th April. I'm still off work because I still feel overwhelmed with grief and I can't focus my mind on anything other than my loss. Having a daily shower is a struggle. I'm a nurse manager and there's just no way that I could be making management and patient care decisions with the way my mind is at the moment.
Everybody is different and you have to take the time you need and only go back when you feel up to it. You may feel up to it until you get there and then have to go back off again. See how you are feeling towards the end of the 7 days and take it from there xxx

 

[Natalilly1288]

I agree everyone is diff and copes with things in diff ways its awful tho and some ppl just don't seem to understand in so sorry for your losses ladies big hugs xxx

 

[Katkin72]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss Mummyof3tobe I lost my baby at about 7 weeks last year (my 1st of 3 mcs). In total I was off work for 4 weeks - the 1st 2 weeks were from when I started spotting and had my scan which confirmed no heartbeat, to when I had my D&C. I them had a further 2 weeks off work after the D&C as emotionally I was in such a state I couldn't function properly. My 2nd and 3rd mcs were very early (chemical pregnancies), I had 1 day off with one of them and the other one happened over the weekend. Everyone is different, so do whatever feels right for you. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve. Thinking of you xxxx

 

[timtam78]

Hi hun, my baby died at 11 weeks last August. I had a week off between having the bad news at emergency scan and having my ERPC. I then took the following day off after operation and went back to work. I work in a small company and everyone knew why I was off. I felt like even though I didn't really want to go back to work it would be better than being home alone thinking about it. I needed to keep my mind off it. I had gone through the worst of the emotional stuff in the week before my ERPC, I just needed to be focused on something else and I thought the longer I left it the harder it would be to go back. My boss was great and I had a little cry in the office to him. Didn't get much work done for a bit, but it was good to be around people. So sorry you're experiencing this

 

[Haylian]

I had a mc at 9 weeks last year and was off for a week, it happened on a Sunday so didn't need signing off etc. however my cousin had a mc in January and has only just gone back. Everyone is different so do what's right for you xx

 

[Kaffee]

I had a week off with mine, it happened overnight on mon through tues. did plan on going back on the thurs but in end I thought, why don't I stay at home the whole week. Ended up planning a trip to the states to distract me and have something to look forward to. Glad I took it off as I was shattered, physically and couldn't have focused at work. Do what's right for you.

 

[flisstebbs]

After each of my 4 mc, I've gone back as soon as physically able. Only taken 3 days maximum. This is purely for my own mental health. After my first mc, i was signed off for 2 weeks and on the second day went mad staring at the walls and rang work begging to come back....
Personally i felt it would be harder facing everyone the longer i left it.

Like everyone says on here though, you have to do what is right for you, there is no right or wrong. You also have to consider whether you are fit to be there. Last time i def went back too quickly and i wasn't coping. It was def affecting my quality of work, and i'm just lucky i didn't make any serious mistakes.

 

[H16]

I had a missed miscarriage at 10+6 last year, I had a D&C 3 days later and the hospital signed me off work for 2 weeks. My situation is a little different though because I lost my job and was given 2 months notice....my miscarriage happened to fall when I only had one week left to work. I have to say that even if I had kept my job I wouldn't of felt ready to go back to work after 2 weeks. My GP actually signed me off for a further 8 weeks due to post miscarriage depression and anxiety attacks so I ended up claiming ESA for 2 months and then commenced work at a new job x

 

[Linzie2012]

I had my ERPC on a Tuesday then stay off until the Saturday ( which didn't go we'll for me emotionally) so they sent me home & I had another week, the 2nd week helped me so much, I wasn't ready when I first went back.

I didn't loose any more though or didn't have to sign onto the sign - HR gave me them as holidays.

 

[tinselcat]

I had a MMC at 12+3 last year, and physically needed the 2 weeks I was signed off for, as I lost lots of blood & became badly anaemic.

The doctor was quite keen to sign me off further but my husband thought I should go back to work (altho my manager disagreed when I turned up not really able to stand up & an emotional wreck).

 

[Dotty_woman]

I had a MMC in September. I had medical management and thought I'd be back at work in a few days. I ended up taking a week off. I'm glad I did as I had another big bleed about 5 days after the main one and that would have been awful if I had been at work. I told my work I was having a small procedure done and would be off work for a few days as I didn't want them to know I was pregnant especially if I was going to be trying again. xxx

 

[leean10]

I had a mmc on 3 May, went in for an ERPC on the Saturday (4th) and went back to work on the 7th!!

I have now been off since last Wednesday as I had an infection with retained products so had another ERPC on Saturday!! I am signed off now until Thursday!! This is purely because I was in a mess internally, in exceptional pain and lost a lot of blood!!

I'm sorry for your loss hon and you take off as long as you need to recover both physically and mentally x

 

[Lozzaste]

Hiya
After both of mine, I was signed off for a month but went back after a week-10 days as the "normality" of work made me feel normal again and took my mind off all of it. Mine were both natural, although the second one took three days. I waited until the bleeding had pretty much stopped as I didn't want that physical reminder.
Hope you're ok, you have to do what is best for you xx

 

[Mummyof3tobe]

Thank you all for your replies. I have been signed off until the end Wednesday so planning to go in Thursday. The one good thing is that I will only be in work for 2 days before the weekend and 2 days after and then I'll be on holiday for 2 weeks.