Going back to work...

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by SmallPurpleCat, Jan 9, 2012.

  1. SmallPurpleCat

    SmallPurpleCat Well-Known Member

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    I returned to work after maternity leave on 3rd Jan and haven't been back since after my mmc. I had my medically managed miscarriage on Friday and am feeling mostly recovered physically - mentally/emotionally will obviously take longer.

    I'm only working part-time now and have told my boss that I'll be back next week but part of me thinks maybe I'll go in on Thurs (I work Tues, Weds, Thurs) as I think I need to get back to normal.

    Just wondering how long people had off work...?
     
  2. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    I hope Friday went OK? (well Ok as it could do given the nature of your visit to hospital)

    You will get lots of different answers

    I have worked through all 3 of my m/c's!

    First one took 3 weeks to occur and luckily for me it eventually happened over a Bank Holiday weekend.

    I actually found being a work a good distraction for me, sitting at home waiting to miscarry would have killed me! I was physically OK after all 3 so I felt being at work was right for me...

    I have had the odd day / afternoon off to visit EPU but luckily the only medical intervention I have had has been internal scans.

    I know in this sense I was lucky (not needing medical intervention)

    I think only you know how you feel and if you need a bit more time off then you must take it sweetie!

    No sense going back if you don't feel up to it?
     
    #2 CARNAT22, Jan 9, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2012
  3. KarolinaMoon

    KarolinaMoon Well-Known Member

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    Hi there!
    I took 3 weeks off work after my mmc in October. After Id been for my 12 wk scan and was told then the pregnancy wasn't going to work, I continued to go to work for that whole week. My mw asked me was I still going to work, and then said , you do realise that for some people the mc will just happen with little or no warning. At that second appointment it really was confirmed that I was going to have a mc, and I decided to stay off work. I needed the time out, and wanted to do it naturally in private. So I basically locked myself away for three weeks! That probably isn't the best thing for alot of people, but it felt right for me. I had my Hubby supporting me and I felt thats all I needed. The mc did happen suddenly and without warning for me, in the house thankfully! I was basically bending down to lift some clothes to put in the wash, and out of no where came cramps and gushes of blood (sorry tmi!). That was at about 2pm on 13 Oct, and if I'd been in work I would have been in such a state!!!

    As Carnat says though, everyone is different, and you should do what you feel is right for you! Dont feel guilty for taking the time out that you need! I can also see the other side of the coin, going to work would defo keep your mind off things, and provide that distraction that you might need.

    I hope you are feeling better soon xxx
     
  4. Butterflykisses

    Butterflykisses Well-Known Member

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    Hey

    I also had 3 weeks off after my MMC last January. After my D&C DH and I both thought of this as a new chapter and immediately felt ready to move on. This changed a few days later when all my emotions caught up with me. I work as reception and just wasn't ready to paint the smile on my face and face the world.

    I hope you're ok and as others have said do what you feel is right for you. xx
     
  5. TORino

    TORino Well-Known Member

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    I had 4 days off after my mmc in April. I had medical management to deal with it as it just wasn't coming away naturally. The midwife also worried me saying I wouldn't get much warning and could end up bleeding heavily very quickly which is why I took back control. I had the first tablet on the Monday night and went back to work the following Monday after spending some of Wednesday in hospital.

    Take as long as you need hun, everyone is different in the times they need to recover both physically and mentally. I remember the first week or do back at work being really angry and liable to burst into tears at any point which was stressful enough but work kept me occupied
     
  6. dyscochick

    dyscochick Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun, I had 3 days off for my mmc, i had the scan and got th news on the tuesday, first part of the medical management, the tablet i took there and then and the pessary thursday. I went back to work on the Monday but kept a very low profile that week. Everyone manages it differently. I know emotionally I needed distraction like Carnat, but i was definitely not myself for a few weeks. Hope it goes ok for you, just do what you feel ready for :hug:
     
  7. netty

    netty Well-Known Member

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    hey sweety i had a month off after my MMC, just take as mich time as you need to everyine is different xx
     
  8. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    How are you feeling today SPC?

    xxxxxx
     
  9. SmallPurpleCat

    SmallPurpleCat Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for all the replies.

    Carnat - I'm doing ok today. Physically I feel fine. I only work Tues, Weds & Thurs so think I might go in for Thurs and then go back fully next week.
     
  10. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    Whatever works best for you hun!

    Glad physically you are doing OK.... Although it's usually the emotional side that is most difficult.

    We're all here

    ((((hugs))))

    xxxxxxxxx
     
  11. Sali2012

    Sali2012 Well-Known Member

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    Hi there, Ive been off since 3 Jan 12 due to started bleeding at first and then eventually miscarried on sunday! I'm still off work. I think you need to let your body and mind rest before going back to hectic daily routine! I agree with lynette, take as much time as you need. Tell your line manager and they will understand.. Good luck and take care xxx
     
  12. dyscochick

    dyscochick Well-Known Member

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    Everyone is so different and everyone's work is different. I knew i'd be able to hide away and not see anyone cos it was summer hols and i work at a uni. so i could work but short hours and some from home. You do what you can cope with and don't be afraid to say ineed more time if you get in and find it harder than youthought. You might find it easier :hug:
     
  13. SmallPurpleCat

    SmallPurpleCat Well-Known Member

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    I've decided to go back tomorrow. I also work at a uni and the students aren't back until next week so I wanted to go back on a quiet day and prepare for a busier time next week!

    I've told my Line Manager and my Assistant and they've been great. Have also arranged to meet a friend for lunch so that will break up the day.
     
  14. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    I am glad you are feeling up to going back hun and I am also glad your colleagues have been sympathetic.

    Hope tomorrow goes OK for you

    xxxxxxx
     
  15. SmallPurpleCat

    SmallPurpleCat Well-Known Member

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    Well, first day back at work went well. When I first got in a couple of colleagues asked me what had been wrong and I managed not to get upset and just said 'women's problems' and no further questions were asked!

    I met a friend for lunch and she told me she was pregnant! Could have done without that today but I didn't get upset so all in all, quite pleased with how I've coped today and glad that I went back now.
     
  16. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    Wow - you did amazingly well!

    I am so glad you felt OK when you friend told you about her pregnancy!

    You are being super strong!

    Have a lovely, restful weekend

    xxxxxxx
     
  17. dyscochick

    dyscochick Well-Known Member

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    Well done hun, prob for the best that you went back for one day, to that out the way and know that next week hsouldbe easier! You have been so strong, i know how hard it is to com back to that pregnancy news, same happened to me, got it by email during my mc that a colleague form work was expecting with a pic their 12 week scan when mine had ended my world!
    Well done you!!!!!! xxxxx
     
  18. SmallPurpleCat

    SmallPurpleCat Well-Known Member

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    Well, I must admit that when my friend told me she was pregnant I did have those horrible feelings of jealousy and being left behind but I think that's normal.
     
  19. JJ Mum

    JJ Mum Well-Known Member

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    I found out at a scan on the monday, and then had to wait till the friday for the D&C so I worked from home that week to save me speaking to people, but to be honest I got nothing done!! In the end it all kicked off thursday anyway, and so I had it all early happen overnight and then D&C friday am. I then had to stay in hosp till sat afternoon because of blood transfusion, and then went back to work monday, in hindsight that was a mistake and I was not ready, and looked like death apparently!! But not many people knew so I needed to go back in, I just told them I was off sick that week. I did end up crying on a bloke who was training me something that week, and poor bloke had no idea!

    Take you time, and if you go back and it's rough, then take it easy, and do what you can, good that you have a good manager.
     
  20. dyscochick

    dyscochick Well-Known Member

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    I wish I'd taken more time off. After the medical on the Thursday we drive to OH folks for an engagement party his sister had organised for us. I had to put my brave face on and get through it, even though I was still bleeding. Toughest thing I've ever done but we cope and get through these things cos we are strong, smart capable women! Xxx
     

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