Relationship (life..?) over

[Mummel]

I am so depressed. My husband is not keen on me at all anymore. Cant blame him seeing that I have put on quite a few pounds since having my wee man three years ago and never got rid of it.

I have also completely stagnated in my job, everyone else had promotions in the last 3 years. I was told, I'd have to put in something special to get one in the next few years. Because of my weight gain ( about a stone) I have also been absolutely atrocious at my hobby which means a lot to me ( you need to be light for it). So all in all, the only reason to live at the moment is to not make my wee boy unhappy. Otherwise it's a misery
and I can only see it getting worse as I get older. I don't know how to get out the bed in the morning (figuratively speaking as I usually get awoken at about 6.20am.)
Please help anyone, I am desperate

 

[Humesy]

Firstly , if your hubby doesn't like you cos you haven't lost the baby weight , he doesn't deserve you.

It's more likely if your a little low/depressed thathe struggles to deal with than your weight.

I hate to be so blunt, but if your weight gain is the cause of all your problems, have u tried losing the weight?????

I doubt its 100% that, but if it means youd enjoy ur hobby and ur life and in effect be happier then a diet seems the obvious course of action to me.

It seems more like depression to me though

If its just ur weight that is the problem, lose it , seriously you cant let something physcial weigh this much on you. hope ur ok xxxxx

 

[Mummel]

Thanks for your reply. You're probaby right. Weight is not the only issue. But I just feel horrid (i.e tried to buy something to wear today but it all looks horrid, i should really try to loose some weight it is horrible. My hubbie just mumbles along as he doesn't want to cause offense. At the same time everything is so pointless. I tried to be happier, but the only reason I go to work is to make money to pay for our mortagage, etc. It's utter crap (sorry) I am so stuck in my life, job,etc. At the same time I don't want to ruin my boy's life, he is very perceptible.

I lost my engagement ring at the weekend (it was ripped from a necklace), I was so sad, but my hubby wasn't bothered at all. He just said he might get me another one from a Kinder suprise. I know, it was a joke, but it is just indicative of our relationship.

I just feel that 43 I am at the heap of all relationships. Rejected by my hubby I thought was for life, too old, fat etc for anyone else. It's just horrible.

 

[So_hopeful81]

This may sound odd, but it might be worth getting your thyroid checked? You can put on weight, feel lethargy and get a bit down in the dumps with an under active thyroid.

 

[Humesy]

I'm a doer. If ur not happy with physical things , change them

As for the ring that's awful u lost it but men don't get the sentiment so I wouldn't say it's indicative at all.

Can u change ur job? Would u be happier in ur job if the other things were changed.

U need to make a list of the things making u unhappy and change them.

If ur still unhappy then it's a deeper issue . Ur hubby prob can't say no right if ur feeling poo? We expect them to jump for joy when we lose a pound and not notice when we put on lol!! Do u and ur hubby need to have some fun?? Xxxx

 

[Mummel]

You might be right! Maybe we need some fun, but how to get some with a 3 year old...?

With regard to the other things: My job absolutey sucks! Had it for years and am only staying there cos it makes reasonable good money and i can't get anything else. I just feel so crap because I think I should be able to do better. Today I read a frontpage article on a national newspaper how parents are now so worried because they won't be able to pay the school fees for their kids at £10,000 pounds a year. I was wondering what their thoughts were on the 'lowlifes' who can only afford public school...

Anyhow, loosing weight is very hard. I weigh about 8 kilos more then prepregnancy and it's absolutely hideous.

I sound like a right old moaning soandso, but basically this is how I feel...on the scrapheap at an early age, not sure how to get out of it.

Thanks for your concern!

 

[Humesy]

8 kg is not THAT much really! Use some of ur hard earned money and get urself to ww or sw!

As for fun, anything. We have a three year old too. U cud do DVD nights with kiddy and put them to bed then and u and hubby have a few drinks and chat. No tv Internet or phone, like I'm sure u did at the start. Play games? U cud start with monopoly and end up with naked twister lol

What about picnic? Going out on bikes? Swimming? Cinema? Family time - u can't beat it. U have a loving hubby , beautiful child and a job and ur only a stone overweight u got it good chick! Try look on the bright side seriously! Throw caution to the wind and don't worry about the minor details and enjoy ur life for what it is!!

What bout babysitter too? U and hubby cud go for nice romantic meal? U cud even spice it up after for him lol just have fun! Things can always be worse!

R u feeling the tiniest bit better for even talking about it? Sometimes letting it out helps xxx

 

[Mummel]

Ok, Humesy, I do feel a teenyweeny bit better, actually, a lot better being able to talk about it. I guess, I don't really have anyone to talk to who understands/is in the same boat! Maybe I just have to make more of an effort as you say.
My hubby seems to be just carrying on all the time without any grumbles and he still looks his georgeus self whilst I look like a frump! Guess it doesn't help with feeling sexy or attractive. It's really a question of accumulating insecurities.

But your post made me laugh, maybe I really just have to recover some more of my old playful, less grumpy self!
Haven't got any babysitters or in-laws handy - it really is a pain!

 

[Humesy]

Glad you felt a bit better!

I do think from reading your posts that maybe if you did have a bit more fun etc, the rest of the things would work themselves out? maybe dieting would be easier if you felt good about yourself and in your r'ship. Your hubby isnt prob actually grumbling on he prob honestly sees the woman he fell in love with down in the dumps and doesnt know how to fix it so is hoping it goes away!!

Also, i honestly bet if you stuck on some sexy undies and seduced him he would LOVE it, and i guarantee he doesnt see the extra stone. you need to have some confidence in yourself

Toddlers are tiresome too and life rotates around them so u need to remem urselves too.

suppose the saying goes "life is what you make it"

dont i sound like a mr motivator pmsl?!?!

anyways keep us posted on this thread or pm me anytime u want a rant xxx

 

[Mummel]

Thanks for all your positive tips, mrs motivator. I do get it! Will try and drag myself out of the dumps, as you say ' life is what you make of it'! Hope I can report some better stuff soon!

 

[Humesy]

I hope so too ! xx