Really piss** of =/

[Serendipity_]

Yeah that it true.
But on the other ahnd, iv bricked my stepdads car, come home at god knows what times stonned out my face and drunk. Iv hit my mum before just because she wouldnt let me out to see friends. Dont do any washing up or clearing up. bunked off school alot.
I was such a twa*, iv changed but she still obviously remembers all the shi* iv put her through.
If my stepdad walked out my mum would be homeless as he payes the rent and my mum doesnt work, she just puts a few bits on ebay.
There is 2 sides to the story, and I dont really no if she should have me or clive.
I dont no.
He doesnt WANT to pay maintanence, but he will
Ill take him to court if I have too.

Every child has their tantrums and does bad things but I thought being a mother, you have to support your child through the tough times. You have been raped for goodness sake, if that was my mom and she was letting me be homeless, I would be ashamed of her. And so would she!

She would get housing benefit surely, or she could get a job and you would get benefits to help her out.

 

[Jade&Evie]

She would get housing benefit surely, or she could get a job and you would get benefits to help her out.

or a job.

I swear I live in a different world where the best way to earn moey to support yourself and your family is to get a job

 

[Serendipity_]

[quote="Serendipity_":ryldg8lx]



She would get housing benefit surely, or she could get a job and you would get benefits to help her out.

or a job.

I swear I live in a different world where the best way to earn moey to support yourself and your family is to get a job[/quote:ryldg8lx]

I was thinking more when she was 8 months pregnant and when the bab was born

 

[Jade&Evie]

[quote="Serendipity_":3anzlwgz]



She would get housing benefit surely, or she could get a job and you would get benefits to help her out.

or a job.

I swear I live in a different world where the best way to earn moey to support yourself and your family is to get a job[/quote:3anzlwgz]

Speaking of which- what's stopping YOU getting a job? You can get temp work- theres loads around Xmas. I worked until I was 36 weeks so you have plenty of time to prove that you are a grown up and are doing the best to support your baby.

 

[mummykay]

swallow ur pride and apologise - uv done some pretty stupid things in the past and suggest a trial living together for a mth or somethin to see what the family dynamics would be like. if it doesnt work then by all means, try the council etc but chances are the ppl who have been on the list for yrs will be housed first before u.

babies are soddin hard work, if they were all sweetness and light all the time there wouldnt be the phrase 'only child' support is crucial, u might be lucky to get a few hrs a night but whose gonna have baby when u need to rest?

u and ur mum need a heart2heart too, what kinda relationship does she want with her grandchild? cos u could use the baby against her cos she didnt give u somewhere to live and thats not fair? ur mates are all still at school, babys dad is a no show so where does that leave u? alone, no job, place to live but with a baby?

jeez, iv rambled - i honestly have no idea why u want to put urself thru all this but good luck.

 

[jazzmum2be]

6 months ago, I was out having fun, getting p*ssed, hanging out with mates. But now that doesnt happen anymore as iv had to growe up alot for this baby and half my mate dont like me anymore because iv turned into a 'baby bore'.
With my familly, weve tried. It wont be sorted. if I go back with my mum, my stepdad will walk out, no dought about it.
Its not just a familly tiff, me and my stepdad hate each other.
My dad is very violent, and evry disabled, his house is made for him and a career so im legally not allowed to live there.
My nan can only have me untill the begginging of january, shes disabled and doesnt need to be looking after a 16 year old at 62 years old.
I no I wouldnt get a flat today, I no. I was just hoping a miracle would happen or something.
I just wnat to get on the housing list asap so ill get a flat a bit sooner.
As bringing a new baby back to a hostel to live is mingin.
Its no way to bring up a child.
Babys dad is a w**k**. wants nothingt o do with the baby...his loss

Surely if you are independant enough to live alone with a baby you dont need your Nan to 'look after' you.

I honestly don't think you would get a flat within a year. They will house you in a mother and baby unit- that's what they are for. They don't just give you a flat.

If my 16 year old daughter was pregnant and about to be made homeless NO man would come before her

I think you are a bit delusional about the whole thing! Going to step out of this now; I won't change your mind so there's no point.

Seriously though, consider the family mediation, a baby is not just a bundle of joy; they are hard work. I am almost 20 and I struggle- not financially and I have a lovely flat (not council though- I have been on the waiting list for over 2 years despite being young, single and pregnant....) but emotionally. I couldn't do it without my friends constantly popping in or my mum's help. It doesn't sound like you have the support of your friends or family and I don't know how anyone could cope with that.

ETA: If the baby's dad is such a w**ker why get maintainance? Unless you plan to let him have an active role in the baby's life? DOn't use him for money- girls like that disgust me.

Im not 'delusional' thanks. I think im doing a better job than some of these teen mums nowadays.
I do have the support of my familly during the day, but you cant expect a 62 year old to house me, feed me, wash my clothes with her money etc, and I wouldnt want tthat either.
Iv put my familly through alot of shit, and no offence but you dont no anything about what I have and havent done.
I havent offically left school yet as Im still supose to be in year 11 at the moment untill next year. So all I could get is a saturday job.
Also, I no your all trying to help, but even a trial month, my steodad just wouldnt do it. end of really =/

 

[Jade&Evie]

so who is going to feed you, clothe you, wash your clothes etc... when you are living on your own with a baby?!

What would stop you helping your Nan out with those things? Maybe it would be the best thing for the both of you.

And NO, I wouldn't expect a 62 year old to do it- I'd expect your mother to do it. She can still claim Child Benefit for you FFS!

 

[mummykay]

he sounds like a catch - cant even ATTEMPT to get on with his partners kid

no, u cant expect a 62yr old to look after - but what were u expectin when u got pregnant????

that ud be housed, warm, with money rollin in and a baby who does everythin from the textbook? it doesnt work like that, have u thought past what happens when uv had baby?

ok im gonna calm down, i really dont think Jamie would appreciate me havin a hypoglycaemic fit on the sofa from tryin to understand and makin my blood pressure go up lol

 

[Serendipity_]

I do have the support of my familly during the day, but you cant expect a 62 year old to house me, feed me, wash my clothes with her money etc, and I wouldnt want tthat either.

You can feed yourself, wash your own clothes, with your own money?

 

[fran_23]

I agree your mum should be doing more to look out for you regardless of what you have done in the past you are 16 and thats still a child in my eyes no offence but i have a 16 yr old cousin that i babysat for doesnt seem that long ago!

If your right and your mum is really about to put you out on your ear with a baby on the way then i think this has to be the making of you..don't just let yourself be another teen pregnancy statistic..work hard and look after your baby the best you can and give him/her the relationship with you that you obviously didnt have with your mum and break that cycle.

I can understand you not getting a job now if you were already unemployed i am not gonna knock you for that its hard enough getting a job in the current climate when you aren't pregnant and 16...but you arent gonna be handed all you want on a plate you are gonna have to work your ass off to provide for your child so just be prepared to do that and don't rest on your laurels hoping it will all come your way because it just don't work that way!

 

[jazzmum2be]

that ud be housed, warm, with money rollin in and a baby who does everythin from the textbook? it doesnt work like that, have u thought past what happens when uv had baby?

Just because Im 16 Im not thick. Iv neevr said I thought it would be easy, I no the baby will cry at stupid hours and it will need my full attention and support. I no.
When the babys around a year old Im going back to college to get my gcse's and hopefully later become a counsellor.
So Im not thinking of living of benefits for the rest of my life.
Im not just some 16 year old chav who gets pregnant for the hell of it and sits around all day doing nothing, livivng off ebenfits and ignoring her kid when there screaming round town.
Im not like that and just becauise im 16 it doesnt mean im goingt to be.

 

[Jade&Evie]

and ignoring her kid when there screaming round town.

That's me!

YOu can't pick them up every 5 minutes and Evie needs to learn the importance of shoe shopping....

 

[fran_23]

I've not assumed you to be any particular way because you are 16...its the things you have written hun!
My mum had me at 16 she stayed with my nan for 2 years and her and my dad got jobs and worked really hard they got a council flat but it was after a two year wait and they both worked really hard to buy there own house and they eventually did when i was 12!

 

[mummykay]

that ud be housed, warm, with money rollin in and a baby who does everythin from the textbook? it doesnt work like that, have u thought past what happens when uv had baby?

Just because Im 16 Im not thick. Iv neevr said I thought it would be easy, I no the baby will cry at stupid hours and it will need my full attention and support. I no.
When the babys around a year old Im going back to college to get my gcse's and hopefully later become a counsellor.
So Im not thinking of living of benefits for the rest of my life.
Im not just some 16 year old chav who gets pregnant for the hell of it and sits around all day doing nothing, livivng off ebenfits and ignoring her kid when there screaming round town.
Im not like that and just becauise im 16 it doesnt mean im goingt to be.

where in that sentence did I say u were thick? I asked u a question. if thats ur game plan then go for it when babys here - but uv gotta think about the here and now and it doesnt sound straightforward at the mo does it?

 

[jazzmum2be]

No I no.
But just because I can't live with my familly it doesnt mean they dont care&they wont support me.
No one likes hearing bad things being said about there familly do they.
I guess I am finding it harder then I imagined, I dont reeally no what I thought would happen, but I didnt think it would be this.

 

[Slinky Sarah]

Im not even gonna try to go into everything thats happened with your family hun cos its not my place to know. But its obvious things are very heated and volatile everywhere.

As for staying with your nan, i think its gonna be a good way for you to kinda get used to helping out if you know what i mean. Like doing the washing, shopping for you both, cooking for you both, just general stuff like that in reperation for you getting your own place.

Things happen for a reason and this has happened to help you get your head together kinda thing and start getting a plan in action and getting prepared.

I know its hard to get a job atm and at 16 your right your gonna be hard pushed to get anything about £3 per hour in all reality. A saturday job may be a goodd idea over xmas to just get in front for a few bits.

As for the maintenance part. GOOD FOR YOU FIGHTING!!! i would have fought tooth and nail against David for maintenance of Angel and i would have been with Lee and with him not wanting nothing to do with baby. He helped make the baby he can help bloody pay. There is nothing wrong with getting help and its not discpicable and using, he should have thought about that too when he had sex. Men have just as much responsibility as us, they can walk away (to some extent so can women) but why should they get away with it. Some people arent in the situation to be able to not ask for help.

Good luck with your nans chick, things will work out, one day when your in your own flat with your child and with a job etc you will look back now and wonder why you were so pissed off at not getting a flat straight away. Things always work out in the end hun. Chin up

 

[mummykay]

No I no.
But just because I can't live with my familly it doesnt mean they dont care&they wont support me.
No one likes hearing bad things being said about there familly do they.
I guess I am finding it harder then I imagined, I dont reeally no what I thought would happen, but I didnt think it would be this.

how will ur mum help out with the baby? sounds like ur stepdad doesnt want anythin to do with u or the baby so is he gonna let the baby into 'his' house seein as he pays the rent?
and u can get a saturday job if u look hard enough to start puttin money aside

 

[Slinky Sarah]

in reality though, who is gonna take on a 16 year old for one day a week who is 15/16 weeks pregnant?

 

[jazzmum2be]

My mum will come down 2 or 3 times a weeka nd help out.
When the babys born shell come and stay for a few months and help me.
Yeah the babys allowed to stay in 'his' house just not me.

 

[mummykay]

in reality though, who is gonna take on a 16 year old for one day a week who is 15/16 weeks pregnant?

if its over xmas i doubt itl really matter, she might even be kept on abit longer

im still in shock over ur stepdad tbh lol, i really really thought as a 'man' he would step up and allow a trial of u livin there but obv not

does ur mum not work then if she can help u durin the week and stay over?