Does any one know how long it takes to read 12 pages
Jazz.... Having a kid is a big slap in the face in terms of growing up as you have realised. I want .. is quickly replaced with... what does the baby need.. Baby needs a roof over their head, warmth, love and food. You can get this at your nans, you can get it at a hostel, you can get it at a mother and baby unit.... and if you are really proactive, I think you might actually be good for your nan... If you do the lion's share of the chores take the pressure of her, you might just find that she prefers for you to be there.
You are an intelligent person.. my little girl has dyspraxia, my friends little boy has it with ADHD and stupidity isn't common among either of them, infact they are very clever just as you are. If you worked your socks off you could get those GCSES but it means having to work hard. At the moment you are using your depression as an excuse to not do things, when tbh its probably the fact you are not doing things that is not helping your depression. To feel useful (and I'm not talking about this whole teenage stuff, but any human adult), reduces depression... sitting around, mulling over how crap your existance is does nothing but make you feel worse. IF you were proactive, went out and tried to get a small job while still pregnant, studied for your GCSE's, helped your Nan with everything at home, you might find you are too rushed off your feet to have time to feel depressed, or at least it will keep the depression at bay.
Your nan is 100% right... You need to keep your money aside... I breastfed lil miss, but if I had been on of those who couldn't (which I nearly was) or one that didn't want too... lil miss would have starved... formula is stupidly expensive.. and then theres the nappies and clothes which are things you are going to need with alarming regularity. Don't waste your money.
Being an intelligent young woman/mother.. you knew when you had sex that there was a possibility even using contraception, that it might have made you pregnant. You took that responsibility even if at the time you weren't mature enough to accept this as a concequence. Well welcome to the big world of (in the words of ZS) I made an opsie.
I'm not preaching to you... been there done that got the tshirt... I don't think there is a single person in the world who isn't part of this club,
, but you have the responsibility now to make the most of this and to do your best by the little person you have created because of it. If that means having to struggle and fight and work hard, well thats what I've been doing since my LO was born, and only a few people never have to do this. No more buts, no more its not fair, or I can't do this... You will just have to put up with things because you have no choice BUT it will get better, and thats why you work hard and fight to make things better.
I had my first child when I was homeless, but I was older. I got a place, but I had to move 200 miles from my family to have it... The place I was offered was a shit hole.. it really was. No heating, asbestos cupboards, on the 3rd floor, no lift... my next door neighbours were drug addicts, the block of flats across the road were regulary set on fire. Hypodermic needless littered the stair wells along with piss, vomit and blood.. and that was where I had to live, there or the streets. How did I get out of that... ? By myself. I went back to collage, then uni, then followed my parents to Spain, got a job, a house... and my ex... well he has chosen not to pay a dot for Tia and only see when he sees fit. It was dam hard and dam scarey but I am a better parent for it, I feel great pride in my achievements and Jazz... you work hard... you will too and its a wonderful feeling.
Remember its always darkest before the dawn.
