Ready to try again....?

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by Anna Marie, Sep 9, 2005.

  1. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    In August I had my 3rd m/c and now 6 weeks on I am thinking of nothing else but trying again.. am I crazy?

    Some say I am just trying to substitute my lost beanie, some say I haven't grieved enough and others say my body will not be ready.....
    And then there are the tests I am going to have with the recurrent m/c specialist.. should I wait for all results [may take 6 months] although nurses at EPU said I didn't have to wait if I felt ready to try again .....

    Any opinions? experience?

    I have had my first AF.. it was actually 28 days exactly from day 1 of m/c so I hope that means my body is returning to normal.. I guess what I am worried about is that it may take me a long time to concieve and as I am 36 I don't want to waste more time.

    Very confused, still sad at the loss but excited that I want to try again as a few weeks ago I wasn't sure I wanted to try ever again...!
    :?
     
  2. LouisecH

    LouisecH Well-Known Member

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    Hi Anna Marie

    Lots of people have 3 losses and then have a perfect pregnancy - my midwife lost 3 and then had 4 healthy children in row.
    I decided to get pregnant soon (2 months) after my miscarriage and it did help me recover from the first one because I had to concentrate/worry to death about this one. However, I was lucky enough not to go through the terrible experience of having more than one m/c. I guess the answer lies in whether you could cope if (god forbid) you did lose another one before you have those tests.
    I'm sorry I can't be of many more help but I am thinking of you and I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you.
    Take care
    Louise
     
  3. rach

    rach Well-Known Member

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    hi hun am sorry about your m/c nobody can really advise you on what to do next only you and your partner can decide that, just follow your heart and do what you feel is right for you both which ever way you decide to go there is always someone here for you to talk to :) good luck with whatever you decide to do my thoughts are with you xxxxx
     
  4. dani200420052000

    dani200420052000 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Chick!

    I conceived my baby 6 weeks after I miscarried Im now in my 29 th week of pregnancy and loving it.. So lets just say there is light at the end of the tunnel and surely u will see that soon!

    Good Luck in trying, I hope all goes well..
    Love Danielle and Bubble xx
     
  5. jacquidube

    jacquidube Well-Known Member

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    Hi Anne Marie.
    I am in the same boat as you. my period came 23 days after my miscarriage which i thought was quite early but i have now finished after bleeding for 4 days. I too am having tests but aalso want to try again, this was my 4th miscarriage. I have decided if it happens it happens and the tests will still get done, they may never find a reason either. I heard of a woman that had 16 miscarriages and then had a healthy baby at the end and she was told they could not find anything. You will probably end up with twins, triplets, or quads.....lol. I am just thinking positive. Maybe we can work together on this one. Im getting on a bit too but women are having healthy children at the age of 45, so dont worry and keep in touch and just GO FOR IT. I dont see any point in waiting for results of the tests, they may never find anything. Im going for it. will let you know what happens and you let me know what you are feeling and how you get on. All my love
    Jacqui.
     
  6. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    Thanks so much for your replies - very encouraging actually!!

    Louise.. I am so glad you were able to have a healthy pregnancy so soon after a m/c.. it can work!!

    Rach... yeah I agree - I always follow my heart instead of my head.. I guess that's why I am ttc again so soon.. I so long for a babba...

    Dani.. well done to you too for concieving so soon.. I really would love it if I was able to have a BFP soon...

    Jacqui.. I have thought of you often as I recall you lost your little bean shortly after I lost mine and I expect you are questioning everything as I am.. I am glad you feel positive enough to try again.. that really inspires me as I really struggle in the mornings to feel strong enough to face the mundane routine when all I want to do is fast forward the next few months.. I saw a renal specialist yesterday as I have a kidney condition and he ruled out any link between my condition and possible causes of m/c so that is one thing I can rule out.
    You are right about the tests.. they may find nothing so I think if I have another normal AF then I will get reading those books again and actively try. I would like to think I will be relaxed about it as you seem to be but I don't think I can be.. I will become obsessed as soon as I start trying!

    Generally I feel OK about what has happenend, I still have my moments and a few tears and I can be very moody all of a sudden and very emotional - probably hormonal still but I know that if I have something to focus on or look forward to it will seem a little easier... my bloke wants me to start planning our wedding but I just can't... doesn't seem appropriate now - to be honest it is more important to me to be a mum than a wife right now.. a piece of paper will not change anything!!
    So how are you bearing up.. did you feel relieved when AF arrived so soon? I was surprised but relieved that my body seems to be recovering OK. Let me know how you are..

    Will definitely keep you all posted - in the meantime I need to go out and actually buy a book on fertility / conceiving etc so that I can actually know what it is I need to do and when.. apart from the obvious BD bit!!

    xx :shock: :p
     
  7. smudgey

    smudgey Member

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    Hi Anna Marie

    Ive started trying again, and like you i am obsessed ! Im scared aswell that it might take ages to get preg, then im thinking, if i do get preg will the same happen again. What are we like eh !

    Ive even bought a doppler off ebay so that when i do get preg - whenevr that may be that i can keep an eye on the heartbeat.

    Why is it not easy being a woman ! Men have it too easy. Pity they couldnt do the pregnancy thing and not us :roll:
     
  8. jacquidube

    jacquidube Well-Known Member

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    When is your next period meant to be Anne Marie? I am due on the 4th or the 6th of oct. I am constantly checking myself.....its terrible isnt it?
    I worry too like you that i may m/c again, but i have decided to go ahead either way. Its like im used to it now.....sounds terrible doesnt it?
    I am getting niggly pains in my back now and pains down my legs, similar to period pains. Its the waiting I dont like and going almost a month every month wondering and worrying.
    Well we will just have to wait and see i guess. I will pray for you that this will be the month for you and for me.
    All my love
    Jacqui. x x x x
     
  9. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    Hi Jacqui and Smudgey,

    Yes becoming obsessed is inevitable.. every day I write down my symptoms and my temp, my CM etc.. i never did all that before so its new to me and makes me think about it all so much more!!

    My AF was 22 Sep - 28th Sep so even though we weren't really trying we did BD during the right times and then when I got AF I was devastated. I sensed my body had not recovered properly as I had no CM at all and was still spotting a bit.

    I am hoping that this month I am more fertile as I have had a bit of CM and my OH and I are gonna try BD over the next few days .. but as I don't really know when I ovulate as Ive never charted before this month will be a bit of an experiment and learning curve about my cycle. Problem is my OH is away from Wed to Sun and I think that is my most fertile time.. oh well... maybe not right month for me after all!!!

    I agree it is so depressing when AF arrives.. then we start the cycle all over again.. but we have to keep going.. it will happen soon for all of us I hope.. after all that we have all been through with our m/c's we deserve some happiness and luck don't we?!!!

    Take care
     

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