Reaction of family members - rant!!

[mablestarr]

Having been trying to get pregnant for some time I was happy last week when I finaly got my bfp. I've not yet told any of my family and would like to wait until after my 1st scan but I'm seeing my mum at the end of the month and I know that it will be the first thing I'll want to talk about, but I'm not too sure how she and the rest of my family will react.

My mum had me when she was quite young and has always adviced me to get the most out of life before even thinking about having a family. Knowing this for the past 18months(ish) I've been trying to drop big hints about wanting to start a family etc, and I always seem to get responses such as 'you'll have to wait until you get a mortgate', 'you should save up more first' or 'don't you want to go travelling a bit first'. Sometimes they make it sound like life just ends when you start a family.

My husband and I have been married for 2 years and been together for 7 years, we have a lovely 3 bed rented house and both have pretty secure jobs with good career prospects. And even though I have only been at my current job since september it is a premanent contract and I'm getting funding to do a masters qualification through work so its all positive.

Anyway yesterday my friend anounced that she's pregnant with baby number 3, and when talking on the phone with my gran today I told her 'guess who's pregnant?' and her response was 'oh not you' (in a slightly concerned and disapproving voice) I brushed it off and told her that it was my friend. Later in the conversation I asked her what she had meant by her comment and asked why would she not be happy if I were preggers. She sounded a bit embarassed and replied with the usual rubbish about getting a few more years in at work, getting a house and being a bit young (I'm nearly 29!!) and that I'm far away from them (it is a 4 and 1/2 hour drive 'home').

It's not that I don't fully disagree with her but I know that the day I do eventually tell people I will be nervous but really excited - its not like it was an accident we've been trying for ages, and would just love it when I do tell them that they'll be really happy and suportive and not come out with some stupid comments.

Sorry about the rant - but it does put a bit of a downer on the situation!!

 

[Emmamb]

Hi,ul b amazed at how family soon come round,even if they r initially shocked or disapointed. Remember it's ur life and u should do what makes u happy,not them.
I'm currently ttc baby no.4 and I know my mum won't b happy but shel adjust,just how she always has. My family were shocked wen I fell pregnant at 15,was pleased for me wen I announced the 2nd and flipped wen I had the third! I'm 27 now,I'm married and have my own business,so I know that now is the perfect time for no.4.
Anyway I've rambled on quite a lot but trust me ur mum will b fine and the sooner u tell her the sooner shel have the knitting patterns out x

 

[Zazu]

I wouldnt worry too much, im sure they will be happy for you when you tell them, especially if you tell them how happy you are and you have been trying to start a family. Hope all goes well xxx

 

[MrsR]

Hope they can be pleased for you when you tell them babe x x I was 18 with my first and my parents were disappointed at first but when they saw how determined I was to have my baby and a life with her they came round, after that my mum constantly said to me 'don't have anymore children, no more children' etc etc not because I'm a bad mum just because I'm still quite young (I'm 24 now) but when we told her she was sooooooo happy! x I was really nervous about telling her and her reaction was absolutely wonderful! x don't be down heartened darling, you know that you're ready and I think that's what counts x x

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

Some people have a phobia about others getting pregnant! I think it must be something to do with the fact that we as women spend years trying NOT to get pregnant and then when it comes round to happening people just get freaked out. My suggestion is not to get down about it, they will come round to the idea and be very pleased I'm sure - if not then remember its your life and your decision.

Good luck! xx

 

[kay126]

I hope they come round to the idea and their reaction wont be as bad as you think! xx

 

[rakrak]

just concentrate on your own life hun. you can't live it through what others want for you... I'm sure they'll come round. It sounds like they only want 'whats best for you' but you know what you want so enjoy it. You sound very sensible and secure so enjoy every single second...good luck xxx

 

[megsmeadow]

Like the others have said, I'm sure they will come round to the idea. I was really worried about telling our parents as we had been together for just over a year and only just got engaged. My mum said she would have preferred if we were married but she knows times have changed and in the same breath didn't want to be an 'old granny' so couldn't have it both ways.
As long as you are happy, they'll see that!!

 

[xxbeckyxx]

Aww I know it puts a downer on things hun, but like others say, they'll have to get used to the idea!
I was lucky cos my brother and his girlfriend had a baby last year and it was just assumed I'd be next!

When my brother told my dad, he was like ' you are f*ing kidding me' and walked off, not impressed. My brother was really hurt but within a few hours dad had apologised and now he loves his first granddaughter!!
You've gotta just remember that our family always sees us as children - my mum says I'll always be 17 to her (apparently that's the age I'm stuck at in her head)

Good luck and whatever happens, feel free to have a good rant to us, we don't mind

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Their be absouletly fine hun, your married, been with your partner for a long time and are in a loving stabble relationship!!
When i fell pregnant with my daughter, my mums first comment was "oh s**t" but she had a think and the day after she was like i can't wait to be a grandma!!! She was so pleased but it shocked her at first, even my dad was over the moon and he's a hard man to please!! lol
Goodluck hun x x

 

[JJ Mum]

When I fell pregnant with my first, I was not young , I was 24 before mariage so not young and in a house with partner ! told my mum ,all went ok ish. Told my dad while he was watching the grand prix with his beloved bacon sarnies, so he was in a good mood. He stormed off saing I had put him off his lunch and left me there crying and didn't speak to me till 2 months before baby due, and then only once! So shocking, and yet he was there for a hosp visit and to see new baby!! (I was fuming and will never forget that).

Told my mum in Jan about baby this year and she was pleased but surprised, then a week later it hit her and she ranted on and on about how I hadn't thought it through and I should learn when to stop! (I have three already), as she dijd , she got past those times where she fancied one more! All very hurfull.

I can see past that all now, parents are only like that as they really do care, just find it hard to show it, and they feel they are the most able to really tell it like they see it. Go with it, they will realise later on if they said some hurtfull things in the moment. It really is your life and your descison and so you can be happy with this, they just may need a little time to get there heads round it, you have known longer than them.

Hope all goes well, really happy for you X