Questions about managed miscarriage and husband can't come....

[twinkles]

Hi girls,

Tomorrow I am going in to hospital for the hopefully final stage of my mc, I had a tablet yesterday so going in tomo for the rest and pass what's left which from my scan seem like it is baby and sac, anyone who has been through this I am wondering what to expect to happen through the day, what do I wear? Do I take food in etc, any info would be fav,

The other problem is my husband can't come due to work commitments he has to go to the other side of the country, now I'm not happy about it because I feel it's for both of us to go through, he also said he doesn't like the thought of sitting on a gynological ward all day, I don't know if there is more to it and he can't face it, I'm not even sure I want to put him through it but I don't know what to do, tell him I want him there and he has no choice, my mum is away so can't come so only option is my mother in law who I'm close to but my head is so over the place all I can think is do I want to miscarry our baby in front of my mother in law.....I don't want to bring a friend or other family member so these are my only options, what would you do?

Xx

 

[Hope81]

not the same as i went through a d&c at the hospital but i will tell you how it was for me.

my oh was with me all day, it has there after i woke up and it really helped me around as i was feeling nauseous , i had cramps, i was dizzy and he helped me move around, went after the midwife, painkillers, food, gave me water, helped me to the bathroom etc. now without anesthesia thinks will be a little easier but you will still be in pain, maybe nauseous and dizzy (its different for everyone). so yes i think you should go with a family member there but if you for whatever reason you don't want to then its doable without as there will be midwifes and nurses to help you around.
the hospital i was was proving everything from wet wipes to pads, pajamas etc but i live in norway so may be a little different there.

i had packed with me several panties, wet wipes, maxi pads, a blanket (for the car as we leave quite away from the hospital and my oh thought i will be cozy with a blanket in the car in our way back), my pajamas, 2 pairs of socks and sth that i forgot and i regret it was soft toilet paper lol as the hospital one is not quite the best quality....
we had some food with us mostly for my oh as i wasn't allowed to eat because of the anesthesia but after everything was done they gave us both food and a hot tea.
get with you also a cozy outfit for your way home like home wear stuff that you wear when you have your period that is not too tight on your tummy etc.

i would say to my oh that he has to be there and thats that. its sth that you should go through together but thats my personal only opinion.

good luck, you will be fine and everything will be over soon

 

[twinkles]

Thanks hun,

Yea I understand that u think the oh should be there, he has now said that he may be back by mid day so can come over then, I at least want him to be there to take me home, also I will be having the d&c if the managed mc doesnt work so again he will have to be there, it looks like I will go in with his mother in law and he will meet me over there when he can, Im still not sure about it tho, I dont want the nurses inserting the pesseries into my infront of m inlaw!!!

Fingers crossed my husband can go and get back asap, I have to call the hospital tomo am to see what time to come in so I guess I may not even be in until late morning, I hope x

 

[dyscochick]

hun in our hospital you are given a private room off the ward, you are not sat on the ward as this is such an emotional issue and i suspect most hospitals are the same. Again in ours if you want to take food you can, or you'll get a hospital meal when the trolleys come round for the wards. It may be an issue if you need a d&c later on when your last meal was, its you ate too late on they might need you to stay overnight and operate in the morning.

You can insert the pessary yourself, I did it at home, very easy in an applicator. I'm sure MiL will slip out at that point. I had pads (hospital will give you some but they are huge maternity things, i'd get some decent ones), they will give you painkillers, the list from Hope was prob what you need, something to freshen up if you feel like it and comfy clothes, pjs or tracksuit bottoms. No harm in taking your own hot water bottle (don't know if they will provide you with one). Take a good book or magazine/ipod/laptop for dvd's. It could be along day as most people pass around lunch time if you have the pessary about 9, i passed at about 2pm but still passed clots throughout the weekend, but some don't pass it until 3-4 o'clock on the day itself .

I found that most of what I passed came out when I went to the loo. I felt a slight urge to push and cramp (kinda like a number 2, sorry TMI) and then i would pass a big clot. this happened 3-4 times over the day. The may make you go in a comode so that they can look at what you have passed and what is there and therefore what might be left. They take it away and what it there is taken care of appropriately. Be prepared for that, you won't have to look but it will be there. I needed panty liners for about 10 days after with light bloody coloured discharge.

I hope that helps. Make sure they send you home with painkillers for the weekend to help with cramps. it will probably be diclofenac and they will also probably give you antibiotics to help prevent any infection (mine were pretty hefty and I couldn't drink AT ALL whilst i was on them cos they make you vomit grrr when that was the one weekend i could have done with a glass of wine!). Do ask if there is anything I haven't covered. xxxxx

 

[twinkles]

Wow thank u so so much, think u 2 have covered everything!

I was given a prescription at hospital yesterday for anti bios and pain killers ready for tomo so picked them up, will take my own pads, sounds like a good idea!

Thanks again girls xx

 

[TORino]

I had the medical thing too. I also went on my own, OH was working on something and it would have caused hassle if he came with work. I wasn't bothered really.

I went in at 8am with a bag containing:

Maxi/nighttime always ultra
Some muffins
2 magazines
A couple of bags of crisps
Spare pair of pants
Towel
Hot water bottle

They put me in a room on my own, it had tea and coffee supplies and a TV and took my bp and gave me about 4 little White tablets to swallow. I didn't have any pessaries. I took these about quarter past 8.

I loaded myself up with teas and coffees and watched a bit of JezZa and about 10 started to get cramps. They were like period cramps. I was expecting much much worse after reading other people's stories on it but they weren't that bad. I fixed up the hot water bottle and had that on my stomach to ease them. I felt a little trickle at about 11. And noticed I had started bleeding so I drank more tea because when I went to the toilet I seemed to pass more blood. About 11.30 I had a bad cramp and went to the toilet (in the cardboard thing as they asked me to show them what I passed) and something slipped out. I had this morbid curiosity and wanted to look but I am very very glad I didn't as it would probably be haunting me right now.

I buzzed them to take it away and they came back and told me it had come away and I could go home in an hour if I wasn't loosing too much blood. Blood loss after that was a heavy period for a few days and it got lighter and lighter and stopped about 2 weeks later.

I left the hospital at about 12.30 and drove home.

 

[TORino]

Ps one thing that really did bug me was that they put a woman in the room next to me who was being monitored and was hooked up to a fetal heart monitor and I could hear the damn thing all morning. So be prepared that they might not be massively sensitive

 

[TORino]

Pps. Hope it goes ok sweetheart xx

 

[twinkles]

Thank you so much hun, I feel alot like you and can just get on with it, I think I would rather be in a room on my own and pass it like you did, I was told not to drive so going to let mother in law to take me over and meet my husband there later on.....

I dont know why I want to see it, Im not sure if I will regret not seeing my baby fetus or if its best not to, I have seen some pictures online while finding out info on mc and they are what I would expect to see, maybe I should not look......

xxx

 

[charlie26]

Good luck for tomorrow hun, hope everything goes as well as possible. Will be thinking of you xxx

 

[dyscochick]

you may not see it hun, sometimes it passes in the sac so its not discernable, it might be in a clot of blood. just go with what feels right tomorrow. I hope ti goes ok, and that we've reassured you a bit about what you are facing. big hugs and lots of thoughts with you xxxx

 

[Corrinne37]

Goof luck for tomorrow honey. xxxx

 

[kanga86]

Good luck tomorrow Hun and hope ur oh can come with u. I had my friend come with me when I can my erpc, was very grateful for the company. Xx

 

[twinkles]

Thats girls, so so so much!

My sister inlaw has offered to come also, I know any of my friends would too but I will just see tomo, hubby will be there by 12 so not so bad now, I dont even know until the morning what time Im going in so will just see how the day goes, thanks again, your all amazing xx

 

[dyscochick]

its lovely that they want to, i found i needed a little bit of spce but loved that friends popped for a cuppa over the friday and weekend after the mc on the thursday. Think about suggesting that because that intermittent oeriods of hugs and people that care is invaluable, but all at once can be overload. fabulous that you have this support there xxxxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Hope all is going ok today , all nice and smooth as it can be anyway hun - take care X

 

[k8_005]

No advice as iv been thru.somethin slightly different to most here but big hugs n make sure u get the support u need hugs xx

 

[Nurse 26]

Thinking of you today, hope it goes ok.x x

 

[twinkles]

Thanks girls, just had second lot of pesseries so far only had cramping but it's bare able and passing clots, bleeding hasn't been too heavy and my lovely nurse said I may have already passed at home, last night I did pass 2 big clots that I didn't see as sorry tmi moment but they fell out into the toilet not like normal so hoping that was the most of it, anyway see what this second dose brings.....xx thanks girls xx

 

[kanga86]

Hope the day has gone ok today and ur back home resting. Thinking of u xx