Private???

[Nurse 26]

I wrote in my journal but would like to get the advice of everyone else

Had my consultant appiontment yesterday with results of recurrent MC testing, all came back great no genetic preoblems (biggest fear as they cannot fix) didnt get on with doc too much this time, she blurted out the sex of the babies without asking us if we wouldnt like to know (which i didnt) we were having identical twin boys

Anyways i have not had AF for 9 weeks now following my surgery. I was hoping she would give me a 10 day course of the pill to jump start my AF assuming it is hormone related. She wont even consider this for at least another 3 months and told me it was all down to stress, to take a holiday, well DUH i'm just back from a week in bloody italy (wanted to punch her by this point.)

So my question is i have found a A list private Dr in London who sounds amazing but very expensive. I was planning on making an inquiry after waiting another couple of weeks of waiting for AF.

What do you think? should i wait or go private? would i be wasting money?

sorry about the long post guys, if you made it to the end i'd be impressed.

 

[maybe baby]

When you say surgery Hun do you mean D&C?

xx

 

[Nurse 26]

yep D&C hun. x

 

[maybe baby]

How about speaking to your GP, 3 months does sound like longer than most to get AF back, It's annoying that they blame stress, they can't prove it's stress, did you ask what else it could be?

xx

 

[Nurse 26]

i thought about trying GP, but as i am under this consultant i doubt they will be willing to do anything more, i shall give it a go anyway.
It could be any physical problem with my uterus but she is not willing to do anything to test physical wise, feel like im hitting my head off a brick wall, and thinking that even if i go private for the inital test and they tell me everything is fine then at least i will have peace of mind. its come to the point now where i feel that the NHS drs i have are out of their depth. She gave me some advice yesterday and when i looked up the guidelines it was wrong

 

[maybe baby]

Can completely understand why you're feeling like that, has a hysteroscopy or an ultrasound been discussed?

Do you remember the right nightmare I had with my Colposcopy, I was borderline, CIN3, CIN nothing, results of my smear took 10 weeks, they basically really messed me around and misdiagnosed me so I obviously complained, I would consider complaining, at the end of the day things probably haven't but could have gone wrong with the D&C, sometimes the uterus can fuse together.

I complained this week about my fertility doc, he's said he thinks I'm FINE and that I have nothing to worry about but after 4 chemicals and 13 months TTC I think he needs to back up what he's saying?

It's the same for you.

I would call her back and say you're not happy with how the appointment went, why not try and get another appointment for 3 weeks, then you'll have missed 3 AFs (12 weeks). Ask her what she's going to do in that case, and when she tells you ask her why she didn't do it yesterday.

Do you get the feeling that the docs are held back from proper care because of money, I do..

xx

 

[Nurse 26]

Thanks maybe, i remember the night mare you had too, arrgh, Dr's make me want to scream.

To be honest i pushed her alot at the appontment and she is not going to budge. another 3 months before any investigations. She did however take a blood sample to check my hormone levels (after me moaning and growning for a while) but when i asked her what she would be looking for in it she didnt seem to know and from what i understand a 1 off hormone test when i have no idea where in my cycle is a bit worthless.

An ultrasound would be pretty useless unless its done by a specialist. I would like an HSG but she said it is out of the question at this point. i have read alot about the uterus being fused together and to be honest i dont have the classic symtoms of that, however i would like to be tested. I am going to see if my GP will refer me to a specialist on the NHS i think the closest to me being about 300 miles away (i live in far north of scotland) but i fear the waiting list will be very long.

I just feel like its time to take things into my own hands and pay for a private so i can get the best treatment or even just to put my mind at rest.

The last things she said to me was go get pregnant and we will talk then

How is things with you? did you have the treatement and another smear? im a bit slow to catch up since my hols.

 

[Mrs N]

I have a very low opinion of the NHS (bad experience with care for my dad) so I go private whereever possible. If nothing else you will have the answers alot quicker. Hubbie has bad knees and was told on NHS that it was a 52 week wait for an MRI and when we went private we had it the next week!!
IF you can afford it then defo go for it, at least for some of it!!
xxxxx

 

[maybe baby]

Maybe going private is the answer then, give it another few weeks and if still no AF then start the ball rolling in the mean time lets pray the bloody witch turns up!

I had biopsies, they came back clear but I had my ectopy treated, so have a repeat smear in August, after that I'm having Clomid.

I've made the decision that if Clomid doesn't work I'm not going to waste time with NHS IVF I'm going to definitely go private.

If I remember rightly didn't the witch take some time with your first M/C?

xx

 

[Nurse 26]

Nope witch turned up exactly on time after last time and everything was done the same, only thing was my HCG was sky high this time, up in the 100,000 range so i know it would take longer to drop. will give it a couple more weeks.

Never thought i would be one to give up on the NHS having worked for them and loved it but i guess this is a different sector.

Thats great maybebaby, you are finally getting your clomid think you are right about the NHS IVF, there was somthing on the TV about it yesterday, total postcode lottery as to what you get and waiting times a nightmare.

Thank you for the advice i just dont want to be too impatient but do the right thing at the same time. xx

 

[LouiseB]

Hiya Nurse, i'm really sorry to hear abut the troubles you are having

I would most definately complain about her revealing the sex of the twins without it being requested. Talk about insensitive! I find that the most shocking element of your whole appointment.

What having private treatment really boils down to is being able to afford it and weighing it up against the timeframe being suggested to you by the Nhs.

The best private doctors don't come cheap - it was well over £150 just for my initial consulation, a HSG would be around £500 and anything invasive like a Laparoscopy would be around the £3000 mark Obviously more expensive the closer to London you get.

I'm also wondering what you think might be wrong with you?

It seems natural to assume something must be wrong to have had a miscarriage and for AF to go AWOL, but do you have anything specific in mind?

If it was me, i'd go private, even just to speak to the consultant for reassurance. He might be able to support your fears and give you something to hit the bitch with.

Otherwise, i would certainly chase up going back to see my GP asap and getting their opinion and if they agree with you, getting you referred to a different hospital with a different specialist... however, that may take longer than the 3 months

 

[Nurse 26]

Thanks louise, i know you have had the same dilemma between NHS and private

I think possibly scar tissue caused by my previous surgery or a problem with the shape of my uterus, not sure if my concerns are really valid but i would like them to be check as these would be the last 2 things to cross off the list.

I will visit the GP, if i get nowhere there then i will seek private consultation. I have looked up a Dr in london who is the top in the uk specialising in both these things i am worried about, i believe he charges £250 for consultation (steep i know) but he is also the only Dr in the uk who can diagnose these problems by just using a 4D scan machine, which costs around £250. obviously anything else he would suggest will be expensive but i wouldnt mind paying the £500 and go from there. I have read alot of reviews from this Dr he has an excellent reputation and writes and reseaches for peer reviewed journals

As for money we are not exactly the richest of people but we get by comfortably on hubbys wages, he is self employed so could easily take in a little extra, and we have no debts, we also have family who would be willing to lend us the money as my parents are pretty well off and they think the money would be well used.

 

[Nurse 26]

Oh and as for complaining i'm not sure if i have the energy anymore, i dont know if you remember but i had to make a complaint about my first consultant for first MC he was rude and horrible, luckily the complaint was upheld and he was given a slap on the wrist and i got an apology, this is how i ended up under this consultant. There is only 2 in the department so i have officially gone through them all oooppsie

I think my decision about going private might also be influenced by my experiences with these Dr's so far

 

[LouiseB]

Well in that case i would definately get it checked out privately.

Those little niggling doubts can drive you crazy and like i said if you won't miss it then it's money well spent.

See a GP and just discuss your thoughts and fears, just to get it off your chest if anything, and ask them what they think and right off the back of it book your consultation and scan, i'm sure it'll only be a couple of weeks then.

Now i am coming out of the other side, i am glad that i held out for the Nhs funding for the expensive stuff but so glad that i spent that few hundred on the diagnostics because otherwise i probably wouldn't be starting treatment til xmas and i really think i'd be in a very dark place indeed right now.

As for complaining, i found it more theraputic than anything. Just write an email out on the website and hit send and if you never hear back then you never hear back, but you'll feel better. Empowered.

Don't let it get on top of you, get on the phone right now

 

[positivity :)]

hey hunny, reading through everything, i think if you have the money, go to the private appt. one of the reasons for AF not returning is stress, u are only going to stress for the next 3 months anyway!

hope you get some answers soon xxx

 

[Nurse 26]

Thanks positivity, i think we are pretty much decided thats what we will do, haha well i have poor hubby just says its up to me as its my body and stuff the money. xx

 

[sarah1]

Hi Nurse, just catching up on this thread. I think the girls are right, sounds like you haven't been treated well at all! I know the feeling - not sure we could afford to go private as I probably need more invasive procedures but if we could I know we would do. Although having said that, my specialist also runs the private clinic round here too!!

After my MC last year, I was also 10 weeks or so before af came back. I'm not sure if it worked, but I was given a couple of courses of antibiotics for infections following it. Do you have any spotting or anything/weird pains? (I felt pg again and had some spotting). Just wondered incase that's what is holding af back.

Take care xxxx

ps. I agree about them telling you the sex of the babies - terrible inappropriate behaviour on their part.

 

[LuW]

-BIG HUGS- I'm so sorry for your loss to start with hun!

I personally would go private. But thats after my own experiences with the NHS and my MC. Alot of money and time was wasted on making an already difficult time for us made worse by my local hospital so my and OH have already decided we're doing an awful lot to avoid the NHS as much as possible when our Jelly Baba finally sticks. Including forking out between £4000 and £5000 for a private midwife who still be incharge of my care if me and Baba have to be transfered from our comfy little homebirth.

I wish I could try and pretend like I feel simpathetic towards them and say 'oh but they were short staffed, and it was busy' but all in all it was the middle of the day on a friday, A&E was dead, my GP's was shut anyway, and I didn't even get a patient log for whilst I was there so when I tried to complain, I 'hadn't' ever been to A&E on that date. Really wound us up! If you can I'd still drop hints that you feel they've let the patient care drop a little at your next appointment, but I'd go private if I was you and you've the money too!


Good Luck with everything hun!

Lu XX

 

[maybe baby]

Sending you some witch dust Nurse!


xx

 

[Nurse 26]

Thank you for the repilies ladies, stilll not sure whatwe are doing. no sign of the witch but will give her another week or so..... 9 weeks 2 days, bored of waiting