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Things are fine now x
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Postnatal Depression
- Thread starter PeanutButter
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Peanut butter - not really good with words but i'm sending you a massive hug.
Men definitely have a period no matter what anyone says!
Maybe he is tired getting use to having a new baby?
Dont want to make excuses for him because he should be showing you support but i really hope you get the help you need when your registered at a doctors and you can sit your OH down and have a chat x
Men definitely have a period no matter what anyone says!
Maybe he is tired getting use to having a new baby?
Dont want to make excuses for him because he should be showing you support but i really hope you get the help you need when your registered at a doctors and you can sit your OH down and have a chat x
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I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Maybe he doesn’t understand and is frustrated? It’s definitely no excuse.
This is a link to a helpline, for someone who you can talk to https://www.mothersformothers.co.uk/links.html
It’s important that you’ve recognised this in yourself hun xx
This is a link to a helpline, for someone who you can talk to https://www.mothersformothers.co.uk/links.html
It’s important that you’ve recognised this in yourself hun xx
Shepherdess
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I'm so sorry you're feeling like this PB. Things must be so tough for you having two so close and young. My husband was useless when I had my first. I didnt have PND but suffered big time with post natal anxiety and it wasn't until dd was over one I realised it was mainly down to him not the baby.
Does your husband work full time? He's probably feeling stressed and overwhelmed, that's no excuse mind. See your Dr and have a proper sit down with him. I know it'll be hard but try to keep calm and not cry during the conversation as it's so much harder to get how youre feeling through tears. Atleast that's what I think, I learned a long time ago if I was crying my husband would partially zone out
Big hugs
Does your husband work full time? He's probably feeling stressed and overwhelmed, that's no excuse mind. See your Dr and have a proper sit down with him. I know it'll be hard but try to keep calm and not cry during the conversation as it's so much harder to get how youre feeling through tears. Atleast that's what I think, I learned a long time ago if I was crying my husband would partially zone out
Big hugs
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Thanks ladies.
I spoke to him earlier about it, he said he just doesn't know what to do/how to handle it. He was waiting for me to talk to him but I was waiting for him to ask. Communication obviously isn't our best part.
I spoke to him earlier about it, he said he just doesn't know what to do/how to handle it. He was waiting for me to talk to him but I was waiting for him to ask. Communication obviously isn't our best part.
I'm glad you spoke to him, is he more aware of how he can support you now? and that asking how you are is going to be important.
Sorry you are going through this but as others have said recognising this in yourself is a massive first step to take. Make sure you are taking care of yourself *hugs*
Sorry you are going through this but as others have said recognising this in yourself is a massive first step to take. Make sure you are taking care of yourself *hugs*
Shepherdess
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How are things now PB? How are you feeling?
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Feeling down still, but still not registered at a drs yet.
Sent hubby a link for pnd when we had that talk he said he'd read it, but he hasn't. :/ He's been stressed with work, so don't wanna force him to do shit.
Dd is teething and scream cries alot, has severe nappy rash and has had diarrhea for over a week.
Ds had bad reaction to injections on Wednesday and was bad Thurs and Fri morn.
Just seems to be one thing after another.
Sent hubby a link for pnd when we had that talk he said he'd read it, but he hasn't. :/ He's been stressed with work, so don't wanna force him to do shit.
Dd is teething and scream cries alot, has severe nappy rash and has had diarrhea for over a week.
Ds had bad reaction to injections on Wednesday and was bad Thurs and Fri morn.
Just seems to be one thing after another.
CornishGirl
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Hi PeanutButter,
I just really wanted to reach out because I started suffering depression during this pregnancy. It's not very well known that it can start before the baby is born, but I have a toddler and I felt like I was drowning. Life felt like too much and I knew I needed help. It was my midwife I went to first, but she encouraged me to see the GP and now I have weekly appointments with the perinatal mental health team at home. They can see you until the new baby is a year old.
I'd encourage you to get signed up to a GP and get referred asap. The NHS has just invested heavily in perinatal mental health and my experience with them has been wonderful. I still struggle daily but feel I have a safety net and no longer feel so alone. They've set up extra support for me after the birth and extra visits with the health visitor.
I have no family around where I live and, like you, my husband just didn't know how to handle it. Some days I'd start crying and he wanted to know why so he could fix it, but it wasn't something he could fix. I think men just like to have something they can do to help. For a while I thought he was selfish and emotionless but it was never the case. We went through a period where we seemed to be arguing constantly and I felt so alone but that was all part of it. Things are on the up now I have the support.
This forum is full of lovely people and is a great place to rant too if you need an outlet. I've been ranting quite a bit in my journal.
I just really wanted to reach out because I started suffering depression during this pregnancy. It's not very well known that it can start before the baby is born, but I have a toddler and I felt like I was drowning. Life felt like too much and I knew I needed help. It was my midwife I went to first, but she encouraged me to see the GP and now I have weekly appointments with the perinatal mental health team at home. They can see you until the new baby is a year old.
I'd encourage you to get signed up to a GP and get referred asap. The NHS has just invested heavily in perinatal mental health and my experience with them has been wonderful. I still struggle daily but feel I have a safety net and no longer feel so alone. They've set up extra support for me after the birth and extra visits with the health visitor.
I have no family around where I live and, like you, my husband just didn't know how to handle it. Some days I'd start crying and he wanted to know why so he could fix it, but it wasn't something he could fix. I think men just like to have something they can do to help. For a while I thought he was selfish and emotionless but it was never the case. We went through a period where we seemed to be arguing constantly and I felt so alone but that was all part of it. Things are on the up now I have the support.
This forum is full of lovely people and is a great place to rant too if you need an outlet. I've been ranting quite a bit in my journal.
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Thanks.
Been getting stressed so easily. Hubby asked me to print something, got slightly stressed just from that... Then I couldn't get the fking thing to work while ds was screaming because he won't let me put him down today for some reason... So that was it for the rest of the day, just in a downer... Can't do anything, shit mum, why do i even bother, and just cry on and off all day. Dd is teething bad still, I just cry with her cos I just can't. Going drs tomorrow with all the forms though.
Been getting stressed so easily. Hubby asked me to print something, got slightly stressed just from that... Then I couldn't get the fking thing to work while ds was screaming because he won't let me put him down today for some reason... So that was it for the rest of the day, just in a downer... Can't do anything, shit mum, why do i even bother, and just cry on and off all day. Dd is teething bad still, I just cry with her cos I just can't. Going drs tomorrow with all the forms though.
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CornishGirl
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I’m so glad you’re going to the register at the doctors tomorrow. At my worst I thought I was useless and a crap mum. I thought everyone would be better off without me. I struggled to see the positive in anything. None of it was true of course.
I am ashamed to admit I did think that I’d be better off dead but from personal experience I know that’s not true. It’s the reason my mum took her life when I was just 4 after my little sister was born and the destruction from that still spreads to this day. It’s never ever worth giving up and I’ve had to remind myself of that too many times the past few months.
I really hope the doctors goes well for you and you can get an appointment without a wait.
I found it easier to write everything down as I knew I couldn’t say it out loud.
Also, it won’t help right now, but there will be easier times ahead. Xx
I am ashamed to admit I did think that I’d be better off dead but from personal experience I know that’s not true. It’s the reason my mum took her life when I was just 4 after my little sister was born and the destruction from that still spreads to this day. It’s never ever worth giving up and I’ve had to remind myself of that too many times the past few months.
I really hope the doctors goes well for you and you can get an appointment without a wait.
I found it easier to write everything down as I knew I couldn’t say it out loud.
Also, it won’t help right now, but there will be easier times ahead. Xx
