post natal depression?? please help

[pixie17]

i really dont know where else to turn to and explain how im feeling. my LO is 6 weeks old and i have been on what i can only describe as an emotional roller coaster for the last 6 weeks. the week he was born was the best week of my life, i was in hospital with him for a week ( i had a c section) and it was such a special time. but things started to go wrong when i got home. my mum and dad came to stay for two weeks when i got home and although i am close to them i found it a bit much, i just wanted it to be me, my husband and our little boy. i then felt awfully guilty when they left and missed them like mad. my mother in law then came to stay for the weekend. it was hell. i felt constantly under scrutiny and pushed out the way so she could get to my baby. i have mentioned this as i feel that maybe part of the problem is that we had people and stay with us too soon after the birth. over all i have been feeling like i am on the outside looking in (sounds crazy i know) and i dont feel like my baby knows im his mum. he is happy to go to anyone. i also feel like he has no dependance on me at all (breastfeeding did not work out) and isisnt really botherd if i am around or not. i just dont feel special to him. i know this sounds selfish, i should be happy as long as my baby is happy but i dont feel he has connected with me, if that makes sense. i love him to pieces and i am worried that i am struggling to bond with him and this is the start of PND. my OH has been trying to be supportive but we have argued a lot as its spoiling things for him. does anyone know how i can get rid of these feelings? i have been crying over so many things and i feel very low on confidence. i dont want this special time to be spoilt. i want to feel on top of the world, confident that i know what i am doing with my baby and confident that he loves me and needs me. can anyone help?

 

[Lulabell]

Speak to you HV or gp. You have made the first positive step by noticing how you are feeling. Now go speak to someone. Depression can take a nasty hold of you if you don't. It could just be a case of the baby blues. Hormones are still raging around. I still get emotional from time to time. I also argued with hubby due to sleep deprovation and hormones. But it's best to speak to someone as they are the professionals. As for the closeness, have you tried spending a day in bed with your LO? Loads of skin to skin. Don't feel like you are being lazy by spending the day in bed. Just spend time getting to know your LO. They know you are their mummy. Don't ever doubt yourself. You have proved yourself to be a caring and loving mummy by recognising your feelings and concerns. xx

 

[rosey]

It sounds like you have had alot of interfering family members there which really is not fair on you or your husband. You should tell people no and that you need some time alone, hopefully they will understand. Feeling low can be a normal part of post pregnancy but if it's something that you feel you cannot shift you should speak to a midwife or Gp as a support group or some meds might be of benefit for
You.
Although you may not feel it you are very special to your baby, they know your voice as they have heard it for nine months and know your scent too. He will be much happier and calmer around you even if you don't notice it. You body and mind has been through alot, pregnancy and labour are very hard and all the hormones on top too, wow! Give yourself some credit you have done amazing and you want this baby in you life no matter how hard it is, some
Folk don't want their babies and just don't care out of pure badness, your baby is very lucky to have you, take
Him in, just sit and look at him and tell yourself you made him. Things will get better I promise you that, but if you need to talk please get in touch.

 

[hesty14]

I did not want to read and run.

You are not selfish at all, you are being natural with mummy instincts to love and provide for your baby.

If you have any concerns talk them over with your GP or HV who will only be too happy to advise and help. They want people to go to them as so many women battle on in silence thinking they are failures when thy are not and just need a bit of support.

As with you LO not needing you, he will you are just not seeing it at the moment. It has taken until the last couple of weeks for me to see my DD needs and is dependant on me and she is 9 weeks old. I have only just noticed that she settles quicker for me and that sometimes I am the only one who can calm her. At first I was like you and thought she is happy with anyone and I might as well not be in the room.

I also did not BF but made sure I did the majority of feeds so we had that bonding time and had lots of eye contact so she knew I was there just for her and not looking at tv, phone etc in the early days.

Sending big hugs. xx

 

[pushca]

Hun sorry to hear you're feeling like this. I would definitely speak to your GP or health visitor / midwife. And in the meantime, think you, your husband & your baby need some quality alone time to bond...
Pregnancy & birth are so magical & you're treated like royalty through the whole process, & then you're sent home after the birth to fend for yourself & that special treatment stops. I almost longed to be kept in hospital so I still felt 'special' and got holiday type blues when I got home. I'm getting them a little now as my husband goes back to work tomorrow. So I think that it's completely normal to feel a little blue.
But if you're feeling completely detached & as though you are on the outside looking in, I would definitely talk to someone about your feelings.
You are not being selfish in the slightest though hun. You carried your baby inside you for 9 months during which time they were completely dependent on you & noone else could give your baby what you could. It's understandable you'd feel pushed out if since they've been born you've not had time alone with your baby. It's difficult as family feel they're helping by taking the baby off your hands but at the same time they are taking away crucial bonding opportunities for you. Especially if breast feeding isn't successful. But your baby will know undoubtedly that you're their mum. Maybe you have a little socialite like my boy, who just loves cuddles with anyone & is happy to be held by anyone.
Being a parent can be hard work & I don't think mummy's give themselves enough credit where credit is due. You successfully carried your baby for 9 months & ensured they arrived healthily & happily & you deserve a pat on the back for doing such a fantastic job

Really hope you feel better soon xxxxx

 

[pixie17]

thanks. part of the problem is also confidence on my part. he is my first baby but i have a fair good idea of what i am doing (i have neices and nephews i have been around as babies) but i feel dicredited by people just because they know he is my first. i am confident in my ability to look after him and know what is right for him but i wish i had the confidence not to let those who doubt me, get to me. i feel as though i have to fight for credibility.

 

[Pickledonions]

Huge hugs hun. Do you know what it really angers me when I read on here time and time again about family members coming and staying for days on end and taking away bonding time. I had the baby blues bad and can't imagine how that could have got worse had I not put my foot down and told family not to keep coming over. As others have said It's defo worth mentioning. With regards to your above post I feel that way too. I get comments like he's not hungry when I feed him, or just leave him to cry. I feel annoyed hes my baby I will parent him how I want. Do you feel weepy and down or just detached. I'd do the day in bed skin to skin. Also my little one was the opposite only wanted me and still does really very antisocial it drives me mad at times so I think It's good yours will be content with others

Sent from my HTC Wildfire S A510e using Tapatalk

 

[1986princess]

sorry your feeling like this, your doing a fab job but please speak to health visitor or midwife about how you feel xxx