Pain relief - women are strange creatures....!

[positivity :)]

so as i mentioned in another thread i had my baby shower on saturday and it was a really lovely day, my friends are fantastic and went all out.

but...

in the early evening after family and colleagues left it was just me and the girls, 3 of them have kids (1 by C-section), 3 of them dont and then there was me.

we started speaking about pain relief and for the first time i said that after last weeks antenatal class i'm going to try my best to have nothing - before i could even say that i'm going to put everything on my plan as an option, a few of them kind of told me off (in a nice way, they genuinely wasn't being horrible).

but i did get a few 'you dont need to do that, no one will judge you' and 'trust me, u will have the epidural' and one even said (the only half horrible comment)...what are u after a medal!!!! and that comment came from one of the girls who hasn't even got kids!!

i just found it all very weird, the mums all did say, if you can then great...but u wont be able to do it! and it seemed like everyone thought i was doing it to make some point, but genuinely, the side effects have put me off.

then i told the one who said about a medal about hypnobirthing and she completely dismissed it! do you girls find that there is a sort of stigma with NOT having pain relief??

xx

 

[suzzi]

oh ignore them x its personal choice x and im with you if i have a natural birth (may have to have c section) im not having any pain relief x i had an epidural for my 1st and it was long and slow, i had just pethodine with my 2nd and it was fast and easy but dd heartbeat dropped and that put me off the pethodine this time around.

Im no fool and if im in pain i will ask for relief but at the moment my plan is to have none. Good luck x x

 

[jomc]

Im open to anything and if i need pain relief I will take it. I have had the medal comment a few times!
The way u need to look at it is :no pain relief = out of hosp faster!

 

[sarah0202]

i wouldn't worry too much what other people say it all comes down to you in the end the only pain relief i had with ds was about 10 mins of gas and air as they didn't think i was in 'proper' labour then by the time they did check me i was already 10cm so was too late for anything, just go with the flo see how you are feeling xxx

 

[Toni_Win]

I agree - ignore them. By using hypnobirthing we're using pain prevention rather than pain relief. So your attitude of trying to do as much as possible without resorting to drugs, but then using them if needed is exactly what I'll be doing. We don't take pain killers until we have a headache do we, so why would we do that when giving birth? If we go into it with the attitude that we don't need them, we can stay stronger and calmer and therefore be less likely to need them. As jomc points out no drugs = out of hospital faster. Plus no side effects and nothing passed on to baby, so they are alert and bright and able to feed and respond straight away. I bet the reaction after having given birth when you explain that you didn't need drugs because you stayed calm and relaxed will be different.

 

[KPicket]

You do whats best for you not anyone else. I was going to go pain free but then my MW said to try a tens which is drug free. I did that and then at the end had gas and air also. I also used the tens for my back after as it had a back pain program I was sad to return it. Hope it goes the way you want it to. x

 

[littlemiss83]

I've also found there's a bit of a stigma around not having any pain relief. When I had my first I wanted 100% natural, but as I was induced I ended up having every pain relief under the sun.

Ppl who have had children alot of the time think that ppl who haven't had children totally under-estimate the pain, as I think that every woman does it, I know I did & most of my friends, so in that sense, your friends might be thinking....she doesn't know how hard its going to be...if that makes sense.

There needs to be some sort of will-power involved too. When your in that amount of pain & the MW says...would you like some......its very very tempting to say yes & i'd say the majority of ppl will say yes. If you really want to go natural you'd need to be able to fight the urge & resist the pain relief - try & remember, even with the pain relief, you're still gonna be in the most amazing amount of agony!

 

[nikki8092]

I didnt have anything with my first, i did try a bit of gas and air but couldnt as it made me sick so i went the whole actual birth with no pain relief whatso ever. If you have it in your mind that you dont want anything then go along with what feels natural to you xx

 

[pinkyprincess]

I've had no kids and I've never been into labour. I want to give it a good go and see what happens, how can I judge somthing that I've never done?

I'm NOT going to see it as a failer if I do use pain relief, and I'm pretty sure I will use it!

 

[nikki8092]

You are right pinky princess! Its all up to the individual person. Like i say with my first i had nothing but with my 2nd i had pethidine and because my babies are born back to back im planning on having an epidural if i have to be induced this time x

 

[lanny]

I think each to there own but I can't for the life of me understand why anyone wouldn't want help with that terrible pain lol
With my first I had a epidural
Second I had gas and air
Third was drug free

So I have done it every way and there is no different outcome at the end you still get your baby the same but in less pain,

If people can do it drug free good on them but I just can't see why you would want to xxxxx

 

[tinytoes]

Why are people so judgemental about this ? My friends drove me mad about it . if you feel you need it have it and if not dont . Dnnt feel pressured it really is about you and your baby and getting you both through delivery safely xx

 

[pinkyprincess]

I'd like to feel it (and I'm sure will regret saying that!!) I know i'm a wuss tho so don't think I'd last very long. I do think my pregnancy has been a chance for me to face some personal battles and fears, like my fear of needles, after having a CVS I don't care stick what you want into me lol! Which is why part of me wants to give it a go, but I in no way will be pressuring myself!

 

[Princess81]

You just do what is right for you hun and deal with the pain as you feel best. I would like as natural birth as possible but will accept pain relief if I feel I need it. People shouldn't be so judgemental about other peoples choices. Ultimately it's you giving birth not them!! X

 

[Susanne]

Personally, I don't think there should be any stigma attached to either having or not having pain relief. In my experience it is best to go into it all with an open mind. I take it like any other pain - if I can manage without a pain killer, then that's great, if the pain becomes too much, I'll have some pain relief, starting with the weakest and building up from there if necessary. End of story.

 

[Young Mum 21 x]

Don't know y they said 'won't do it' without pain relief? Everyone is different and it can certainly be done without any! You do what ever u feel like Hun!xxx

 

[positivity :)]

thing is i don't judge either way and i might sound like a naieve person to suggest i'm going to try to do it on just gas and air but i suppose i was hoping for a bit more support from my friends rather than 'no chance'.

lanny, like you my friends say they've been through it and just can't understand why i wouldn't want pain relief but the information given about all of the different pain relievers at the antenatal classes has put me off.

if i had to lay a bet i would bet that i WILL have the epidural but just trying to have a positive mental attitude lol! xx

 

[charlotte2010]

its sad they didnt encourage you or at least keep quiet. Ive had an epidural before, i never felt like a failure but i wanted natural. This time im booked if for a home birth and my only option is gas and air which i never liked before.

I dont think you should just have pain relief cos its there, there is alot of disadvantages to them.

I really wish I had done hypnobirthing and I dont care what my friends or family think its MY choice!

the same for you its your choice dont listen to anyone else

 

[star fish]

LOL, I have had so much conflicting 'advice' that my head is spinning. In the end I rang a friend who is a Senior Midwife on a labour ward and she said "It generally makes no difference at all what you decide now, it will all depend on what sort of labour you are having and you would be very silly if you didnt listen to the advice the professionals give you on the day - they don't have any agenda to push, they just give you your options depending on how you are progressing, so 90% of birthing plans are a waste of time, just see how you get on".

Seems like fairly good advice to me, though she also said that being as informed as possible about what the different options are is always helpful.

 

[positivity :)]

yeah that's my plan star, i'm going to have everything down and then see how i cope when it happens, i just felt like my friends wanted me to say 'i'm having it'!! xx