I dont think you should apologies at all, if your struggling with 3 why would you have a 4th, because at the end if the day its the kids that will be missing out. Growing up with my sister my parents had no money for a long time and I had to have all my sisters hand me downs for school and I hated it I was so jealous of all the other girls, I swore from an early age I would never live my life like my parents.
My dad also moved away he is now living with another woman who he denys he was with when him and my mum were still together but we don't believe him, I have only just built back bridges with him but I refuse to associate with that vile woman, she sent my mum a message on fucking Facebook saying they had been having an affair my mum was so upset. My older sister refuses to have anything to do with since.
God my family sounds so disfunctual but I love them lol
My clomid hot flushes usually kick in within a week of finishing a course but I know that is different for everyone.