OH says all the right things - yet still nervous?

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by Holi, Jun 8, 2013.

  1. Holi

    Holi Well-Known Member

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    For me, there's nothing nicer than when my OH randomly makes a comment about our baby, little texts saying 'love you and bump so much' 'how's my two favourite girls' - literally makes me melt!

    It's our first baby and so excited for her arrival, but I'm also so petrified of how much it's going to change mine and OH relationship. we've been together 8 half years and and are very much in love, and we have a great life, so that makes me more scared about change! What I he doesn't like being a dad? What if we fall into 'mum/dad' role and have no time for each other? Does that make sense?

    atleast hearing him say these things makes me feel slightly reassured! Lets hope he feels the same and more when she's here! Does anyone else ever feel like this ever?? Xx
     
  2. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    I do get scared about stressful arguements or when well get tired..
    But i think if u have such an amazing realtionship bothing with spoil that!

    We promise eachother to talk and help eachother with everything when Noah arrives and get through any stresses together.

    My OH is so excited to be a dad, hes amazing with kid and i can see he is guna be fab!

    Try not to worry hun.. I think hell be great! An u can see with those texts hes already inlove with u both to biiiits! :) hes not going anywhere :) xx
     
  3. fairypants

    fairypants Well-Known Member

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    From the sounds of that you've got a very strong relationship and you just wait til she gets here and he's got his little princess in is arms, you'll completely melt even more just seeing how proud and overjoyed he is, I bet. I really don't think you've got anything to worry about in the dad department or you would of had a hint of it by now.
    As for the change in relationship, well it's gona happen, it happens to everyone cos having a baby is a huge deal and will change your life as you know it, but that doesn't mean it's gona go bad! You may find that it brings you even closer and you both fall even more in love once you have that beautiful little baby that you 2 created together and nobody else has that! You're obviously doing something right as a couple go be going so strong for so long, you just have to remember to keep talking to each other and make a point of having that important "us time" whenever you can, whether it's while baby sleeps & you get 10 minutes to just be a couple again or you make a regular "date night" and keep the romance going hehe just make the most of time together and make sure you start thst in the last few weeks before baby gets there!!
     
  4. diane

    diane Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun I was worried about this when I was pregnant. We had been together over 7 years and have a great relationship and I was soooo scared about losing us!

    Ok so I will first point out that we have a really "good" baby who sleeps all night and always has done, so never experienced sleepless nights so can't comment on that. At first I was very very teary as I missed it just being "us". I was totally unprepared for that feeling and felt guilty I was feeling this way with a new born cutie baby! But my hv said its quite normal in couples who have been together a long time before babies to almost grieve the passing of one stage of a relationship. This resonated with me as everything was always perfect with us so I felt sad things were gonna change! But now things are awesome! We do seem to now make more of an effort with each other as our time together is precious. For eg we now have a "no phones" rule after she goes to bed. Every week we have a date night and leave her either for a few hours or overnight and it's really helping too! Also we talk talk talk about our relationship and what we love about it, so we make sure we always have that loving feeling there too lol!

    Hope this helps, I had many of the same worries but now I would say that actually our relationship hasn't really changed at all! You'll be fine and your worries are totally natural xxx
     
  5. wifeywifey

    wifeywifey Well-Known Member

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    Honestly having a tiny baby was hard especially my second and we had our arguments but now my boys are one and two our relationship is stronger than ever. It is important to make time for each other even a coffee and cuddle for 5 min. I'm sure you will be fine.
     
  6. giz

    giz Well-Known Member

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    I gotta admit, we don't have enough quality alone time anymore which makes me sad :-( I feel like I can't ask my mum to babysit cos she already has her when I'm at work. And my in-laws are unreliable. And I can't really afford a night out plus a babysitter...they charge loads.

    I'm sure it'll get better when they are old enough to stay at home on their own though!!!

    As for those early days, just keep talking. We had quite a shock to the system when our daughter arrived but being honest with each other about our feelings helped lots. Even those horrible feelings of "what have we done?!" it was good to know we both felt it. :)

    ----------------
    baby giz born 6th Feb 2011
    next one due 12th Aug 2013
     
  7. Holi

    Holi Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for being so reassuring girls! Think I'm just a worrier! Xxx
     
  8. Sue Clare

    Sue Clare Well-Known Member

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    Popping in from baby & toddler. For me having children has strengthened our already strong relationship with my hubby.
    We work together as a team, always make time for each other. He regularly
    sends texts asking how his 2 princesses and prince is and me too which is so sweet.
    You will be fine, don't worry.
     
  9. Positive37

    Positive37 Well-Known Member

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    hi lovely feel very similiar have been with BF 6 year this year we have a great relationship a lot of fun. I naturally do a lot for him because i like it , making nice dinners etc and his same he does a lot in the house and is briliant in helping out
    i too worry that we are going to argue when we are tired and his going to find it difficult maybe more so than me, he loves his cycling although he knows it will stop for while i know he will miss it.

    i think as everyone said we have to keep talking, make it fun but most of all know that we have made this little person together xxxxx
     

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