Newborn things they don’t tell you!

[MoominGirl]

We are still breastfeeding yes little man is 6 months now so just entering the world of baby led weaning! I plan to continue BF until he's 12 months and I go back to work. Once I knew I'd cracked it, I knew I'd stick with it as we've done the hard work so might as well get the benefits!

Obviously I ditched expressing in the end but I started by just pumping off what's left after a feed. I believe dry pumping for a bit longer once you're empty boosts your supply! I certainly didn't run out! More like the opposite lol which was why I stopped! It didn't have enough benefit for us but if you have someone else to take LO for a few hours then there's a much bigger advantage.

You're so right about support being luck of the draw. Community midwives and the local BF group run by the health visitors were great. It was the support in hospital that was terrible. I understand they're busy but don't encourage women to breastfeed, make out it will be easy and then refuse to support them when they struggle on the back of a difficult birth which is the reason they're in hospital in the first place! I really didn't shout loud enough when I was in but I was just doing whatever it took to get through it as I knew by this point it was only going to be one night. In hindsight I was basically damaging my nipples more than I realised and probably gave myself an uphill battle afterwards. I think after such a good pregnancy where I wasn't even slightly hormonal, I just didn't expect the hormone crash that I got on top of everything else that had happened.

At least I know better if I ever manage to talk my husband into another lol!! Glad everything is going well for you. Time really does fly. Can't believe we're halfway into mat leave already!

 

[WinterWolf]

I was expecting breastfeeding to be some massive challenge based on what everyone says, but it really wasn’t. I couldn’t do it but that was down to a low supply. Bubs latched perfectly from day 1, so I can understand it would be hard if they don’t. It’s tiring when they’re cluster feeding through the night but feeding a newborn is exhausting no matter how you do it. I hate that everyone congratulates one another for breastfeeding but not for bottle feeding. Trying to prepare, wash and sterilise enough bottles for a baby to eat every 2hrs when they’re clingy and won’t be put down is very hard! Same with trying to make a bottle at 3am when baby is screaming hungry. So many times I wished I could just whip out a boob and have her get a full tummy because it’s a lot easier!

Also agree with Moomin about feeding issues exacerbating the baby blues. My daughter lost a lot of weight in those early days. Seeing her lose more and more weight everyday until I supplemented with formula really upset me. I wasn’t hormonal in pregnancy either so truly thought I wouldn’t have a big hormone crash.

 

[Abi88]

Thank you ladies, I'm just re-reading this thread as it's so reassuring in the first tricky few weeks.

The thing that I wasn't prepared for was the NICU stay. I suppose no one wants to think about that and not even being able to hold my baby for the first 3 days was incredibly hard. Having him fed formula through a tube also meant it was so hard to establish breast feeding. It took over a week for my milk to come in and it was awful trying to pump milk for him in the NICU and only being able to give him a few ml to supplement the formula. He also lost 11% of his body weight in the first 6 days and I had a doctor tell me off that he wasn't back to birth weight by day 10. Well of course he wasn't going to gain 350g in 4 days while my supply was still struggling! I have now got him off the formula completely so it is possible but it's incredibly hard! But it's also so worth it.

 

[WinterWolf]

@Abi88 Congrats on your new arrival! Sorry your bub was in the NICU, that must have been be very hard and it’s not something we really give a lot of thought when we’re pregnant is it?

My bub lost too much weight too because my milk never came in properly. If you have supply issues don’t force yourself to exclusively breastfeed, it’s not worth the stress x

 

[Abi88]

Thank you, its a relief to get him home but we have had a lot of follow up appointments and it's quite stressful to keep going back and forth to the hospital a couple of times a week. We are still waiting on one retest from the newborn screening because one of the levels was elevated but likely due to stress in NICU. Then we just have a follow up with the cardiologist in a couple of weeks and a weight check on Saturday and hopefully we are back on to normal baby routine. I'm really keen to carry on breastfeeding but we will see on Saturday if I have the supply for it. I saw a lactation consultant and she thinks I do so fingers crossed!

 

[WinterWolf]

Oh wow that’s a lot, I checked out of the hospital early (recovery room/care was awful) so had to go back for her hearing test when she was a week or two old. It was extremely stressful getting there and back with her alone!! I couldn’t imagine having to go back regularly. It sounds like you’re feeling pretty lost and overwhelmed at the moment. By the time your bub is 6 weeks old you’ll have found your rhythm and will feel confident x

Re breastfeeding - You’ll know if your supply is low. Baby will be unsettled, he will either not sleep for long because he’s hungry or he will sleep for 4hrs at a time (not enough energy). You can just tell something is off if they’re not getting enough milk.

 

[Abi88]

We had to retake the hearing test yesterday too as the antibiotics caused some fluid build up in one of his ears so he only passed in 1 ear when we were in hospital. Luckily the fluid had cleared and he passed in both ears yesterday but it's something we need to keep an eye on when he starts talking.

 

[WinterWolf]

Oh bless him, you’ve had a rough time of it x

 

[Abi88]

Another thing they don't tell you is that maybe they just need a cuddle! I've got to day 17 of his life trying to stick my boob in his face every time he cries only to realise that some of those times he just wanted a cuddle!

 

[MoominGirl]

Another thing they don't tell you is that maybe they just need a cuddle! I've got to day 17 of his life trying to stick my boob in his face every time he cries only to realise that some of those times he just wanted a cuddle!

If it helps, I really didn't realise how often a newborn needs fed and probably wasn't sticking the boob in his face enough!! Both me and hubby would just know so much better second time. I'm not suggesting for a second it would be easy but I do think it would take a massive amount of pressure off of first time parents if society was a bit more honest about how tough it really is!

Like WinterWolf says, you will really start to find your rhythm around 6 weeks. Do try and get out to groups if you can. It really helped a lot to know there were others feeling exactly how I was!!

 

[WinterWolf]

Another thing they don't tell you is that maybe they just need a cuddle! I've got to day 17 of his life trying to stick my boob in his face every time he cries only to realise that some of those times he just wanted a cuddle!

lol don’t worry, people in my pregnancy group still just stick a boob in baby’s face when they cry. Newborns definitely cry just for snuggles. No one tells you these things, which is why we have this thread going