Newbie...a bit lost

[wishuponastar]

Hey all, I've just signed up on here but been stalking ages! My hubbie and I have been trying to conceive for over a year but a couple of weeks ago he left me, saying he isn't sure he wants children anymore! I've seen him a couple of times since and we ended up having a sneaky BD. Anyway, now I'm on my own, I'm stressing even more in the run up to my AF...so I wondered if sharing it with you guys might help! Still so want that BFP...

 

[Olive]

hi hun. sorry to hear about you and your oh. was it the stress of ttc that has made you split up/take a break? hope you guys can work things out, that's the most important thing, then you can start a fresh with ttc how long until your af is due?xx

 

[wishuponastar]

Hey, thanks. I'm hoping it was the stress of ttc and not anything more. Not sure what I know anymore, we've been together for 11 yrs so feeling a bit lost! I aways go a bit obsessive during the 2ww and now I'm on my own I don't know who to talk to about it!!! Mad woman that I am! AF is due on Monday. How are you getting on?xx

 

[Olive]

Hope you work things out. Have you had any symptoms this month?

I think I was due on monday as last 2 periods have been 30 days, but still no sign of af. Have had symptoms but 3 negative tests (Monday to Wednesday lol), 2 of which were ebay cheapies, but sure that doesn't make much of a difference as manages to pick up pg for others! Feeling very frustrated with it all! Second month ttc.

xxx

 

[Princess81]

I really hope that you can work things out. It's important not to lose sight of your relationship with your o/h when TTC. It can easily take over and put additional pressures on your relationship. Maybe you need to let it take a back seat for a couple months and just enjoy each other? A lot easier said than done I'm sure, but maybe with a bit of relaxation and enjoyment you may just get the BFP you are looking for anyway xx

 

[Olive]

Princess - spot on advice.xx

 

[wishuponastar]

Thanks guys. Well he's moved out so it's hard to "enjoy" each other at the moment! Oh well, I'm really hoping things work out. I've got really sore bbs and have been feeling a bit sick but it sometimes feels like I imagine these things just because I want them to be there...does that sound crazy?! Working out when AF is due is a pain sometimes, usually my cycles are about 29 days but they've been a bit weird the past few months!!!xx

 

[LouiseB]

Hiya

What a stressful situation to find yourself in

You have no idea why he moved out?

What are you hoping for - a BFP or a BFN? (sorry if that's a silly question)

Everyone on the forum is here to help and support you, so no worries about what happens

 

[wishuponastar]

Thank you. He hasn't really given a reason other than not knowing if he wants children anymore. Don't even want to consider any other reasons! I might sound mad but I am still really hoping for a BFP...I think that when it's been all you want for so long I can't even imagine not wanting it to be a BFP...although god knows what I'd do if I had to do it on my own! What a mess!!! Thanks for the support.xx

 

[LouiseB]

Oh well if all he had to say was that he wasn't sure about children, even though he's been trying for a year already, i'd guess it was just the pressure getting to him.

I get worse every month that goes by - first month super happy, second month reflective but happy, third month want to chuck myself into the river (i advance v quickly) so god know what me and hubby will be like after 12 months

Have you had any doctors appointments etc?

 

[wishuponastar]

Hahaha! Finally, kindred spirits!!! Yes, I am slightly (oh ok, massively) obsessive just before AF and it doesn't get any easier! I think it's pressure about TTC as well. Our GP won't help until we've been trying for 2 years!!! I bet she never had to try that long!!! How long you been trying?xx

 

[LouiseB]

...only on my third cycle

I'm lucky the bridge is too far away to walk there, plus it's raining - don't wanna get my hair wet before i jump

I only have five cycles to conceive in though or my life plans are ruined! The pressure is ON!

Well, i'd be tempted get a new GP and see of you can blag that you've been trying over 2 years and if your GP put on your notes that you haven't been trying for 2 years - tell them it's a mistake...

 

[wishuponastar]

five cycles??? How come? (Sorry I was born nosey!) Wow that is pressure! Thank god that bridge is so far away!!! The rubbish, pollution, shopping trolleys and frog spawn aren't good for your hair anyway...xx

 

[LouiseB]

It might (prob will) sound silly, but i live in a rural location in a tiny village full of pensioners mainly.

As luck would have it though, the few middle aged couples are all pregnant - one due Oct, one due Nov and my best friend due March.

Now i'm freaking out because i want my baba to be in the same school year.

I know kids of similar ages play together and i know i'll meet other mums etc but if i could just manage to get pregnant i won't have to worry about that at all unless i choose to.

It would just be so perfect

Not the end of the world if i miss the boat, but it kind of feels like it lol

 

[wishuponastar]

Ah I see, yes totally understand that. I had the same thing, two of my best friends (who both happened to be bridesmaids at my wedding) got pregnant and I really wanted to be pregnant at the same time as them. One has had hers now and the other is about to drop (me? jealous? Never! ) It'll be our turn one of these days...

 

[LouiseB]

Yeh, it sucks being the odd one out

 

[wishuponastar]

Ha! Maybe we're not the odd ones...maybe they are!!!