*New here* Looking for someone who relates

[Lamont]

i have antenatal depression, and it was very difficult for me to even admit something was wrong, at the start of december my doctor gave me two weeks off work due to depression and everything getting to me. Since I've came back to work I had a meeting with my boss and HR and explained everything thats going on - it was a VERY emtional meeting! Even thinking about the subject threatens tears! The doctor referred me to councilling and basically told me if I needed anymore time off just to go back and see him.

My work just doesnt understand, they make me feel like i've made it all up and can just click my fingers and be better. HR said 'i don't understand and not very sympathetic because i dont have kids' also 'arent you happy you're pregnant' then.... 'we might enforce early maternity for the good of the company' talk about putting me down when i already feel like utter crap!

I've worked out that if i take my maternity at 30weeks and then all my due holidays I could be off work as early as 15th February... I'm VERY tempted! HR have decided that I need a weekly check up meeting. I feel bullied and harassed if i'm honest.

Then today I had my 'check up' meeting and basically got told that any days off must be put in as sick days and not as a holiday (I was off yesterday as I was depressed and couldnt face work, emailed my boss and asked for a holiday for that day) I feel this is so she can get evidence against me to sack me! I was running late for work this morning and got to work as quickly as I could but I ended up being 30mins late and she again was like did you inform anyone you were going to be late... no because i tried to get here as quickly as possible..! then asking about my counsilling sessions and if its benefiting me any. I don't understand her need to know every detail about me! She's horrible as a person and I really don't want to talk about my personal life to her!

I have my first counsilling session on the 11th Jan and feel it can't come quickly enough! I think my head is gonna explode or tell HR to shove there job where the sun dont shine!!

 

[Mum2betash]

Sorry your boss is like that. I was very lucky as I had quite an understanding boss and I left work at 28 weeks. I was so worried that I was going to have really bad post natal depression but once my lo arrived I've been so happy- such a different person. I wish you all the best and you can private message me if you ever want to chat xxx
You'll also get a lot of support on here, there is so many lovely ladies !

 

[tinks77]

Take your days as sick because as its related to pregnancy they can't use it against you. In my place they won't enforce maternity leave due to sickness until 4 weeks before your due to go anyway but not sure if that's just my place or the legal eay


Mummy to Gracie 26/10/11

 

[redbear]

I dont think they can force you to use holidays to cover sick days, they would be in deep trouble if they tried to sack you due to pregnancy related things which you have proof of because of your meetings and doctor visits.
I personally would take the maternity leave as soon as you can if you feel bad and work is making you worse. Also see if you can take your holidays before or instead of some of your maternity so you can go back to work a little later. So sorry your having a hard time its really not on for them to be saying they don't have sympathy etc there not a doctor and they haven't been trough it so they can shove there lack of sympathy, i dont understand why there personal views where brought into the meeting at all, you have a doctors word and that should be enough for them there not trained to evaluate if its 'real' or not.
If it carried on i would speak to someone about what's happening are you part of a union? Or speak to citizens advice? good luck hope it gets sorted. xx

 

[Ellisbump]

They can't make you start maternity leave even if you are sick until 4 weeks before due date. So if you aren't coping and work are making you worse- which I understand because my boss is the same she doesn't understand how I feel, nor seems bothered- then your gp could sign you off sick until your mat leave starts so you still have plenty of time with LO when they are born.

You've done great to admit the problem, seek help an talk about it. I've had midwife mental health appointments and they really help but the lack of support at work still causes my anxiety to be sky high! Keep your chin up and focus on you an the LO.
As the other ladies said, they can't force you to take sick days as holiday nor sack you due to pregnancy related illness.

Good luck, if you need anything please feel free to PM me xx