New Baby and visitors

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by Cazza, Dec 20, 2011.

  1. Cazza

    Cazza Well-Known Member

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    As touched on in the 'Phone call' thread, what do you plan to do about visitors when you are either in hospital or come home with your LO?

    I'm having a C section so shall be in hospital 2/3 days but our hospital only allows Partners visiting up to Day 2....................which suits me fine as I don't want my mother camping in the hallway!!!

    MW was saying their advice now is to get home and get yourselves sorted for a few days before allowing visitors.

    So if I tell my mother that 6 months is what I need is that rude????!!!!!

    :lol:
     
  2. mummy2b19

    mummy2b19 Well-Known Member

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    Think she may be a little offended lol. I don't really want any visitors except oh in hospital but mum and dad and mil and fil will proberbly decide that they are coming any way lol. As for when we get home im going to make a point of getting people to ask and not just show up. I don't know if its just me but I would always ask if its convinient for them. My friend had a baby about a month ago we got them a card and just text to say IV got u card do u want me to pop it through the letter box. They said if I waited a few days then they would like us to come around and see the baby, but IV already decided that if you ditched me while I was pregnant because I couldn't come out any more then do not expect to come and visit the baby because it will not be happening. My mum is taking a week or so off work when oh goes back so we can take her to see extended family. My great aunties want to see her but they are both a bit doddery on their feet so its better if we go to them xx
     
  3. Lilelephant

    Lilelephant Well-Known Member

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    Lol cazza. We have asked ppl to give us a week when we get home to get used to eachother etc.
    My mum lives up the road so she has offered to help us with housework etc (think it is a ploy to see baby sooner lol).

    We said if we feel up to it earlier we will let ppl know :)


    Sent from my gorgeous iphone4
     
  4. Nic36

    Nic36 Well-Known Member

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    Hehehe... I think six months sounds very reasonable!!!
     
  5. Lilelephant

    Lilelephant Well-Known Member

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    I have printed out rules :shock:


    Sent from my gorgeous iphone4
     
  6. Monkey

    Monkey Well-Known Member

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    It doesn't matter if others think its rude to ask for 6 minutes or 6 months. It's what you want and what you feel comfortable with. You need to get into a good routine and allow all of you to get used to the new life that comes with a baby.

    I had an issue with the MiL as she was visiting every single grandparents visiting hours in the hospital and would make excuses to come round at least once a day to see her when we got home. It got to the point where we had to block the door and make excuses to not let her in. Don't let it get like that as it makes the whole thing very stressful and that's the last thing you need with a new born.
     
  7. hugsy

    hugsy Well-Known Member

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    Iv been struggling with this one too

    My mam said she thinks its important for us to bond together as a family with the baby so she is going to wait and fly over after 2 weeks to stay for a bit but OH family all want to come straight away, Like all of them together parents sisters brother brother in law nephew...... I said i didnt want them all coming over together that it was too much and not fair on me but he doesnt get it. Pisses me right off if my mam is putting off seeing her only grandchild to respect our need for time alone why should his all land on the door step

    Its tricky but maybe start dropping subtle hints now and see how they are picked up before needing to be a bit firmer over it :)
     
  8. mustard

    mustard Well-Known Member

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    I've been thinking about this too. I'm hoping for a home birth so I'm thinking le my parents and the in laws see the baby the day/ day after she is born just for an hour or something and then for the rest of my hubby's 2 weeks of paternity leave no visitors at all. Then when hubby goes back to work hopefully I'll be more up for visitors or able to get out and visit people (in a way I'd prefer to go to them then I can just leave if baby or I start to get tired). Don't know if this will work, haven't dicussed it with OH yet.
     
  9. star fish

    star fish Well-Known Member

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    My husband calls this "Applying the Red Hand!"

    It is his allocated job to answer the phone and put people off!

    Though I have to say that I think it will be easier to see them in the hospital than at home. In hospital you can just sort of sit there and chat, but at home I would feel obliged to make them a drink and put out nibbles and how do you get them to leave when you want? At least in hospital the visiting hours are limited, plus apparently the nurses will collude with you to ask people to leave after a certain amount of time if you want them to.
     
  10. redbear

    redbear Well-Known Member

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    Im looking forward to showing off the baby as much and soon as possible... maybe im strange! Im expecting everyone to be visiting the same day and it doesn't bother me... i know how excited i would be if it was another member of the family having a baby lol x
     
  11. Hunnie

    Hunnie Well-Known Member

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    I'm not really looking forward to the visitors thing :/. Im very anti social when I want to be especially if I'm tired or stressed so I don't quite know how I'm going to cope.

    I don't quite get what the big fuss is! LO will be around for a lifetime, no need to rush as she isn't going anywhere
     
  12. redbear

    redbear Well-Known Member

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    Because baby are only new and exciting for two weeks then there old news lol... Joking... Im very sociable so looking forward to seeing everyone each to there own tho! xx
     
  13. Olive

    Olive Well-Known Member

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    This is difficult as I don't know how people will be. I'm happy for my parents to come over and OH's, although I hope not every day. I don't think they would do that though. My Mum I'm totally ok with coming over as I'm a mummy's girl, although I might change how I feel if she tells me what I'm doing wrong too much! Siblings am ok with popping over. I know they won't out stay their welcome.

    Anyone else for the first week or so, no thanks. I really hope, if possible, to bf and I want to get comfortable with doing it and attempting to do it discreetly :roll: I don't mind my next door neighbour popping in, in saying that.

    If anyone turns up unannounced I'll be really pissed off. I'd never do that to someone without a baby, let alone with one. I just won't answer the door lol.

    xxx
     
  14. Hunnie

    Hunnie Well-Known Member

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    Yup I think that's the reason lol!!

    I don't think I'm that bothered about people coming around, I just know already that I can't be arsed with it all lol. I'd rather go see them so I can make a quick exit lol
     
  15. Rachel1509

    Rachel1509 Well-Known Member

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    I'm having my OH and mum at the birth, and that's all I really want there. But I know other family members and friends will want to come and have a nosey, but only when I feel up to it. I've told OH I'm not having his family coming in when they please. It will be when I feel up to it and ready for it. I want to bond with my baby first :)
     
  16. redbear

    redbear Well-Known Member

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    I said if i feel up to it i would rather go to other people's house that way they can make me cups of tea and i can leave when i want to! xx
     
  17. poppypd

    poppypd Well-Known Member

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    Someone once wrote on here that her baby caught an infection and she'd wished she'd not had so many visitors in those first few days. She even wrote a warning about it on here- can't remember what her baby got but it was very poorly. I'm think gonna have a strict 100% health policy before they touch and slobber over baby.
     
  18. Monkey

    Monkey Well-Known Member

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    That's what I still do. Smokers can't smoke around her and anything from them that smells of smoke gets washed before she gets it, even if they have washed it first. If anyone has touched animals or anything else really, they have to wash their hands. A newborn is hard enough to look after, let alone trying to look after a sick one.
     
  19. star fish

    star fish Well-Known Member

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    Oh god! I never thought of that!

    Now I'm paranoid about all the people who want to come round bringing germs! Before I was only worried aobut being knackered and it being an effort
     
  20. Olive

    Olive Well-Known Member

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    It was TraceyM ladies. But it was due to someone kissing baby that had a coldsore.xx
     

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