Nervous Wreck

[Dee83]

I am feeling so anxious and panicky at the moment. If i don't go into labour naturally i am getting induced on Thursday. I know that this is what being pregnant is all about, getting the baby out at the end, but i am so scared.

I feel like an emotional wreck. I'm scared of the birth it's self, of the baby being massive (was told he would be at least 9lb by due date and i'm already 5days past that now) as i don't want him to get stuck and leave me needing a c-section or me getting torn to pieces down there. Plus i've been told by the anesthetist that i should try to avoid an epidural if possible as it is not guaranteed to work with my condition and could cause pain else where. This is why i wanted a water birth but if i get induced i can't have one.

My major worry is of how i'm going to be, health wise, after he's arrived. I think alot of you know that i have MS. I'm scared that i'm not going to be able to walk or that i'm not going to be able to see or that i'm going to lose the use of any other of my faculties. I've been trying not to think about it but it's really hitting me hard at the mo, i can't concentrate on anything else to take my mind off it and the stress is killing me. Everyone who has MS is different and alot of people, i'm sure, don't have a relapse after birth but the risks of it happening are quite high. I know of a lady who went blind after giving birth, but then i know of others who have been just fine. I am just so worried that i'm not going to be able to cope with looking after the baby.

I'm sorry for the long post but i needed to get this off my chest as i try not to open up to much to close family and friends as i dont want to worry them as they're worried enough. I just put on a brave face for them.

I understand that it's hard to know what to say so i don't mind if you just read and run. I feel better for just getting all of my worries out.

xxx

 

[Dollie]

Big hugs, i know its easier said than done but try and think positive xx

 

[ForestLas80]

Oh sweetheart I really feel for you. Birth is something new and a little scary for us all as first timers but I hope these worries are just that and nothing bad happens to you. Def good to get this off your chest-have u spoken to your OH about all these concerns? It's hard to do but have faith in your body looking after u, we are made to give birth and deliver babies. U will cope and the size is sill their estimate. Try and speak to a midwife as they can really put your mind at ease. The ones I have seen over last few days have for me xxxxx

 

[pinkyprincess]

Awww love it's going to be great! You'll be holding your LO and wondering why you were so worried

I'm sure you'll get lots of extra help during the birth!

Step away from the Google MS birth stories! People are very quick to comment and share bad experiances but not so much with good ones! For every 'horror story' you hear 10 people have probs been fine!!

Big huggles to you!!!!!!!!

 

[Dee83]

Thanks girls.

Yeah, my OH knows my concerns but it's not easy for him to deal with either really so we tend not to talk too much about it. Sometimes burying your head in the sand and just hoping for the best seems like a good option but what it does to you mentally isn't always great!!

I never google anything about MS for that exact reason Pinky, like u say, it can be a battlefield of knowing what u should and shouldn't believe. The lady who went blind was my mums friends daughter unfortunately. xxx

 

[ForestLas80]

U will be marvellous and all will work out well....for us both! This is a tough week for us but we will get through it......stay positive happy thoughts only, banish the negative ones, that's what I have had to tell myself these last few days! Xxxxx

 

[Dee83]

Oh and good idea about speaking to a MW Forest as i've got a sweep tomoro so will try to get some reassurance about giving birth to a larger baby at least

 

[Dee83]

Thanks Forest

Just think at the end of this week, one way or another, we will have our babies! So many emotions!!!!

 

[pinkyprincess]

Don't forget Dee they can get the estimated birth weight wrong!! Let's all FX for that!

 

[hugsy]

Aww hun sorry to see your so stressed but as the girls say for every horror story there are so many good stories and you just dont hear about them

I know 2 people with sevear MS who went into full remission and it never returned but you tend not to hear those stories

I know its hard but try and stay positive, also and im not too sure on this but most people i know who were told they had 9+ pound babys turned out to have tiney little ones so i wouldnt hold too much faith in there guesses of the weight xxx

 

[Kbex]

I was induced with my first. Really didn't want to be but based on medical advice. It was no where near as bad as I expected and better than these weeks of false labour and last two days of early labour having now. I got really good care when induced with consultants, one to one midwife etc throughout. Definite advantages. Looking back there my labour was fairly stressful, nothing to do with induction, but at the time you are so in the zone you won't notice it. The time flies by you and your body takes over your mind and gets you through it.
I was really worried about afterwards too both physically and mentally (my mum passed away as I found out I was pregnant and I had depression throughout pregnancy). I did struggle mentally (was really lucky physically as although badly cut as my small daughter in bad position was sewn up well). What I kept telling myself afterwards was that there's no prizes or goals to achieve. Take each hour, day, week at a time. Do what feels right for you and your child. Nit what the books, relatives, health visitors think. In my experience those who struggle put too high expectations on thmselves. There is nothing wrong with formula either instead of breast feeding or so mums can have a break and OH give a bottle.

Sorry this is more of an essay than planned. Hope it comes across ok as written with lack of sleep and between contractions!
It was weeks until I properly bonded with my daughter but she doesn't know that and is a healthy happy to year old.

 

[Hunnie]

I don't really know what advice to give other than big hugs!! Xxxxxxx

 

[Dee83]

Thankyou for replying girls

That's true about the birth weight. Not sure tho as i have got a larger than "normal" bump and have been told that it's all baby. Who knows, will be amazing if they've got it wrong tho! xxx

 

[DaisyPurple]

Oh Dee sweetheart, this is naturally the most scary thing you will ever do, yet the most rewarding, please try to relax though, as the more relaxed you are the better the experience I understand you are worried and have MS too but I'm sure you will get a Fab midwife who will guide you through the whole process, whatever happens you can be proud of yourself for bringing a much loved life into this world we are all here to support you and will be rooting for you all the way PF has the best labour cheer leaders I was as scared as you are now and 10 years later I can't wait to do it all again lol XXX

 

[ForestLas80]

I just saw a different midwife just now and she listened to my moans and understood me crying (how embarrassing!) when I told her I was fed up. She has really motivated me
again and I am now going to relax and let things happen. Deffo talk to your midwife about your anxieties-she should help If she is half decent.

 

[1986princess]

hope all goes well for you hun, understand the fear but im sure ul be fine at the end of the week ul be a mummy best xmas present xx

 

[Iriki]

Just wanted to lend my support as well.... In same boat(kind off) , being induced tomorrow if no baby today..... But staying as relaxed as possible. My last baby was 9lbs9.5ozs ( a big boy) and I'm in no way huge but I had him with no tearing and totally naturally, so don't panic about baby size, your body won't let you down
No advice re the MS but am sending lots and lots of positive thoughts your way xxxxxxxx

 

[Susanne]

You must be really scared - I will be keeping all my fingers and toes crossed that all goes well and you can have your waterbirth and there are no complications with yourself afterwards! A lady with MS who lives in my village has had 2 babies without anything bad happening to her, hopefully you'll be the same! As far as the birthweight is concerned, I was told with my first that she was going to be 9-10 pounts, and she ended up being 6.8, so I wouldn't rely too much on those kind of predicitions anyway... Hope things happen naturally for you so you don't have to be induced! Good luck!!!

 

[Dee83]

Aww thankyou so much, i dont know what i would do without you ladies. You're all so supportive xxx

 

[Cazza]

Hey lovely lady, have you got an appt to see your hospital team after the birth??

I've got an appt with my Lupus consultant in January to get back onto meds and my RA nurse will try and visit whilst I'm in hospital too.

If you haven't got an appt ASK for one!!!