need to say this

[tracey 2]

hello everyone im here again for another like talk but to myself and just let it out, im sorry if no of this makes sense.

I know people see me on here as being brave and i really wish i was but iv been in such a daze over the last few months and now iv gotta start letting it all out, i never thought i could feel so much pain ever i mean emotionally but i suppose i have now and i just wanna take the pain away from everyone here and myself and bury it and never bring it back but i know i cant. why does this happen is what i want to know i know it cant be answered but im just so emotional right now and i cant stop the tears, i know iv proberly said all this before on here but its just hit me oh so hard tonight that i wont ever have my lovelty 2 angels with me right now in my arms i cant explain anymore through tears how i really feel this is affecting me so much.

It makes me feel that i wont ever be a mum just a mum to angels who i will always love til the day i die i know i will but what i wouldnt give right now to hold my 2 angels in my arms and tell them how precious they are and how sorry mummy is for letting them go because maybe if id done something differently then maybe i would have them.

It will be my due date with my first angel in a couple of weeks time at the beginning of april and i suppose that is what is stirring up all these emotions in me i think, i cant thank you all enough for all the support i have received on here i really cant its beyound words how special you all are.

I hope one day that you all get your dreams soon.

 

[neeko_1]

hey hun

let me just say that IT IS NOT your fault why you had lost you two angles, you could not have changed anything.... i know it seem a bit hash to say this but everything happens for a reason..

i lost two angles last year, my 1st one would of been nearly one, it is the hardest thing for anyone to go through... and you are strong and it will make you stronger... don't give up hope...

your dream will come true and you'll appreciate it so much more

 

[sonia205]

Aww Hunni
That made me cry ^^
It is not your fault they went to heaven darlin, they all have angel work to do - only the best get picked for that you know !
I dont really know what to say to help and support you apart from this - there is alot of help and support out there, not only just this forum, but other loss sights, and of course if your feeling that down and not well you could see your GP for help and moral support.
Im always here too

I really hope you can pull through this - i know you can, you may not feel very strong atm but trust me, ive been there got the t shirt.

Last Jan it would have been my EDD, and if i pulled through it you can too.

It is hard that is why you need to ask for help, advice etc..

OMG im so sorry if ive rambled on... *sighs* i always do that - although some people say thats one of my good features xx

You know where i am hunni - just click that PM button and im all yours xx

 

[Happybunny]

Aw Tracey honey. Your feelings are completely understandable, losing two babies is so sad...it is so easy to feel as if your time will never come. I too worry that it is not meant to be for me and that makes me so desperately sad. We have to cling on to other people's success stories on the forum...happiness can come after a black cloud.
I have recently passed my EDD for my first baby and it was a really sad time. You will remember your little baby too and feel an acute sense of loss...but all through it you must keep in your mind that you did nothing wrong. You are young and have much time ahead of you....keep moving forward and good things will happen. It can be seem like an impossible wait, but you are a lovely person, you will be a mummy to a beautiful, healthy baby.
Lots of hugs sweetie
Michelle
xxxxxxx

 

[happy-chick]

Aww sweety, please dont think its your fault in any way as its not at all.

With your EDD approaching it will bring back all of the emotions and sadness and is bound to make you feel low. Try to be brave hun, I really do understand that its hard.

I know you are in so much pain at the moment & wish I could do something to take it all away & make you feel better.

I wish you all the happiness in the world babe, keep that chin up!

Thinking of you
xxxxxxxx

 

[tracey 2]

thabk you all

 

[sonia205]

thank you all

NP xx

 

[fynemum]

Look to the heavens sweetheart when your feeling this way, you have two beautiful guardian Angels that are there just for you. They will help you find the strength, You will have a baby in arms one day doll, I just know it. As for being a brave lady....We all are to go through this loss and keep trying,
Strong doesn't mean hard, you do have emotions and thank god for them, thats what makes you the lovely lady you are. If you didn't care you would be a horrible person, but you do care and unfortunately you do hurt too.
Take time sweetheart, when you lose a baby it is the hardest thing in the world to deal with. there is No answers just pain, When you lose again you hurt all over and also have the previous loss to deal with all over again too. It is only time that will help you heal, and talk as much as you can, that helps you and others too.
Be kinder to yourself sweetheart Lv Yvonne xx

 

[tracey 2]

thank you Yvonne,

Im doing a little better today considering its mothers day, im trying to take strength from the facts that my angels are with me always, anyway a little pair of botties (sp) arrived this morning froma mate who is travelling and there has been no way of really getting in touch with her so it was sad but it felt right iv put them in her memory box which in a way is a lovely mothers day pressie, though sad.

love to you all

 

[Ginnymarie]

so sorry you are having such a hard time pet...

yes today has been hard, mothers day .....the emotional pain will pass and you will come and stonger and your dreams will come true

thanks for the support you have given me over last few weeks, please take strength in the fact that your experiences are able to help other women feeling the same loss

all my love
xxx

 

[ToriElla]

aww you don't have to try and be strong for everyone hun, we are here for you too. It's such a hard thing to deal with so words can't take away how you are feeling but knowing you can talk to us and we can relate to how you feel will hopefully help

 

[loz]

hi, thinking of you. You have been through so much. Dont know what to say other than dont give up hope. You wouldnt be a normal woman if you didnt hurt like this and greive for your little buds, keep going sweet. x x

 

[fothers]

Hope you are feeling a bit better Tracey

My due date (May) is approaching also and I know where you are coming from on that front. I so thought I would be pregnant again by now.

 

[tracey 2]

thank you everyone.

Fothers- yeah im feeling a little better now just a few hard days a lot more myself now, i hope your ok too and i know what you mean by EDD it will be hard and i hope it goes ok as well as it can for you, here if you need to chat hun