Need some advise - not really pregnancy related!! *UPDATED*

[debecca]

That's crap.

The bit about the suit REALLY grates on me too - my husband was usher for a good friend of his a year or so back and this guy decided to have 10 YES 10 ushers so blatantly couldn't afford the suit hire. Anyway Jim said it was a privilege to be an usher so he didn't mind the suit hire but THEN the best man didn't have ANY black shoes so he had to hire some, so they made everyone pay to hire some so they all matched

I was WELL peed off. It's really rude to put people in that situation because you can't exactly say no.

Anyway as for the stag weekend, I don't know why people have started doing these expensive weekend dos to be honest, as again, you can't say no. I tend to go for one night of a hen weekend.

Hope you get it sorted out with your OH. I know mine wouldn't go in that situation but everyone's circumstances are different...

 

[Sophie1102]

Thanks everyone!!!

JP - It's really nice to have a man's point of view, and that you agree with the rest of us x x

Tilly - The £125 is for the suit and he went for a fitting on Saturday and had to put down £50 straight away!! SIL didn't even ask if we could afford it, just said that is what she is having and this is how much it is!!! The weekend away is £100 for accommodation and god knows how much for fuel, food and of course beer, so could be close to £300 just for that weekend!!

He keeps saying that I can go on the hen weekend, don't know where or when it is yet, but I already know and have told him that I won't be going, as I don't want to leave the baby and would rather spend the money on my children!!!

I will try and speak to him about it tonight, he went of to work this morning with only 2 words spoken between us, I just don't want to cry about it in front of him and him just to say OK as I'm upset about it

 

[muppetmummy]

your SIL sounds a bit of a cow!

 

[Sophie1102]

Thanks MM - she is very self centred, and everything has to be about her!! I think that is what has got to me the most when she clicks her fingers everyone has to do what she says, when she was pregnant all she ever talked about was the baby, and now the baby is 10 months old and the first thing you hear from her is oh the baby didn't sleep, the baby didn't eat, the baby has a new tooth etc etc

 

[SuziQ]

Did you get anything sorted Sophie?

Thinking about it.. I am actually in the same predicament re the Stag do.. well.. mine is my best mates hen Do... that I am arranging..
My LO will be anything from 2-9 weeks old .. and I am going to play it by ear... PLUS.. there is NO way that I would want to be away from it... but same time it is my best friend... so.. I have told her.. that a) if she goes far away..then we (OH, new baby, and I) may come to that area.. and I will come and join her for 1 night, then my new family will holiday there....
... if she is staying near by.. again I will pop in for 1 night..
HOWEVER.. if the baby is only 2 weeks old.. then I simply will not go.. I won't want to go.

xx

 

[Sophie1102]

Hi SuziQ - I have sorted it to an extent, I'm talking to him again but haven't actually discussed it yet, I wanted to get things around my own head first.

So i've come to the conclusion that he can pay the deposit for the accommdation and then when the baby is here I will say that I would like him to not go, I really think that because the baby isn't here yet he will never understand how I feel about it, and plus when the baby is here I will leave him a few times on his own with the baby and see how he copes. AND if he ends up going then so be it, I will have my time when he can have all three for a weekend, the way i see it is that I can either be mad and fall out with him or play it to my advantage, plus if he does go I go see friends, family etc and won't have to worry about getting back for him!

Good idea but the way with your thinking SuziQ

 

[kalia]

I asked my OH about this and I was shocked that he thought it was a tricky decision! Then I said about how SuziQ had said what I was thinking - it could be a 6 week old baby and you might have had a ceasarian and he had a quick change of mind (he thought we'd been talking about a baby that was already born). As he said, there are too many unknowns.
Someone suggested that he just goes for one night - that might be a really good comprimise, depending on how far away the place is.

 

[Sophie1102]

He is going to Newquay which is about 4 hours away! Now that I have calmed down I will talk to him properly this weekend and let him know that I only want him to go away for one night as everbody has said that is a good compromise, I'll let you all know what he says about it x x x

 

[Sophie1102]

Just thought I'd let everyone know that I had a chat with my OH at the weekend and asked him more about what, where and how long he was supposed to go away for, he explained it all to me and then said that he will only go for one night, driving down by his self on the Saturday morning and coming back by lunch time on Sunday.

I am so glad he suggested it and cos he will have his own car he won't have to do what everyone else does, such as what time the go and come back.

I can live with one day away, thanks for everyone that replied it made me feel that I wasn't being unreasonable by not wanting him to go all weekend

 

[Tillytots]

oh thats good hun!!

xxx

 

[Bloom]

Aw thats good im glad he saw it from your point of view.

 

[kalia]

I'm glad it's sorted

 

[Manda&Thomas]

glad its sorted now hun
manda xx