Need a good ol' cry!

[stacey_lea86]

Okay, so it could be the hormones dramatising most things. But I am so ticked off that I have real tears!

My husband is in the Army, we live in Germany. He has his hobbies which include football and golf. He goes away with the army any time from 1 week to 6 months away at a time, now I understand this is his job & all, but it's the extra curricular activities that tick me off.

He was away last night as he went away fo 2 days to play golf, and he came in at 4.30 and tried to be all nice as pie as I know he is off out tonight. Well he's just left an I feel nothing but dislike for him at the minute.

I have sacrificed so much for him to have his dram career & the dreams he wants to pursue, yet what do I get back in return?

He has these passions for his job, Football & golf and I know he NEVER shows the same passion towards our relationship. I have tried many times to tell him I want to feel wanted, complimented, wined and dined. He gets upset, ties for a week & were back into bad habits again!

He has gone out now as he has a 'mess do' which is basically a piss up with his colleagues. I don't fancy being surrounded by drunk people & I was alone last nigh, so why does he not want to spend time with me? Why does he not want to be excited about being with me?

He's away next month to play football for a week or 2 back in UK. Just can't help but feel lik a glorified babysitter sometimes. I get the impression he does not love me, he just loves the easy life he has with me!

Rant over...Tears are flowing so that should help get it out my system!

xxx

 

[Taassh_0x]

First of all, It seems you are feeling sorry for your hubby because of his job (which I could understand because it's a hard job and hard work)... But he choose that career path... 2nd: A relationship takes two so you should sit down and talk, explain how you are feeling and you don't want him to stop his life with his friends and hobbies, but as your spouse he should make room for you as family is very important. 3rd: If you don't talk about this with him, when he goes back to work you'll have it going round and round in your head, it's not worth getting upset about. Men are very selfish (most of them) but they are selfish without realizing, just put your foot down, ask him to re-arrange some of his activities or limit them so you can spend some time together as a family. Even though he is busy he should apply some time to his family, as he is a family member and homelife is not all down to you Good luck, hope this helps xx

 

[Sarah13]

I do feel for you. I spent 13 years in the forces and my hubby 16 so know what it can be like from both sides. The guys do always seem to have something on and they don't realize how their wives are feeling. I'm guessing your feeling a bit alone too stuck in Germany? Do you have any good mates out there you can spend time with as well? My OH now works offshore on a month about rota so I sometimes get fed up when he's off doing other stuff at home instead of seeing me but gentle reminders regularly make him remember he's not single can't do everything he wants. It def can be hard for army guys to say no to doing sport and getting drunk with their mates, they think the team work has to continue 24/7! And they hate being left out! I used to work with a guy who's wife always got a holiday and weekends away being pampered with the girls to make things fair with all his trips away doing sport and dets, I thought that was a great idea! Hope you feel better soon, the hormones do make things 100 times worse!

 

[stacey_lea86]

You are completely correct. I chose to stand by him when he decided to join the army & I will continue to do so. I just guess sometimes I feel a little resentment that he's living his dreams & I don't even know what mine are to be perfectly honest. I also probably feel a jealous because his job involves socialising and getting very, very drunk & I can't do that either as I only have a few friends here!

I'v been suffering really, really bad with this pregnancy & all I want is to know he respects me & perhaps comprimised a little.

I'v spoken with him before on numerous occasions, I was even going to leave as I just felt that I could be happier without worrying about 'does he love me'

I'm putting this little outbursts down to my hormones. But I am going to write down how I feel at the moment so I can tell him and give him a little nudge! XXX

 

[stacey_lea86]

I do feel for you. I spent 13 years in the forces and my hubby 16 so know what it can be like from both sides. The guys do always seem to have something on and they don't realize how their wives are feeling. I'm guessing your feeling a bit alone too stuck in Germany? Do you have any good mates out there you can spend time with as well? My OH now works offshore on a month about rota so I sometimes get fed up when he's off doing other stuff at home instead of seeing me but gentle reminders regularly make him remember he's not single can't do everything he wants. It def can be hard for army guys to say no to doing sport and getting drunk with their mates, they think the team work has to continue 24/7! And they hate being left out! I used to work with a guy who's wife always got a holiday and weekends away being pampered with the girls to make things fair with all his trips away doing sport and dets, I thought that was a great idea! Hope you feel better soon, the hormones do make things 100 times worse!

Thank you Sarah, It's a tough life to live. I have a few close friends. I always feel alone, probably why I feel like a live in nanny sometimes. He's off to Afghan the same week the baby is due, so I think the hormones are raging around that fact that I want him to spend time with me! I just feel bloody selfish at times for moaning lol! xx

 

[Sarah13]

That's typical the dates have worked out like that, he's prob gutted as well. That's a good idea writing everything down, will help get your head straight. Your not selfish for wanting to spend time with you hubby, you need some quality relaxing time together which might make you both feel happier.