My mum regrets having kids.

[ButterflySkye]

The plan was to move into our new flat this weekend get settled and then tell people we are pregnant.

My mum and I have never got on. My dad left when I was younger and she blames me and always says dont look at me your like your dad. Ive had to deal with this for many years. Im 19 now.

The reason we have to be moved out is that my mum always said that if I get pregnant living under her roof she will drag me to the abortion clinic. Yes this sounds dramatic but she would. If she didnt succeed that way she would try something else.

We now cannot move into our flat as there is drainage problems and it flooded so its needs to be rebuilt. So now im approaching 12 weeks and showing a small amount with a mum, i dont use the word mum lightly, being bullied.

I spoke to my local council and they said they could put me into a local mothers a baby accomadation but my partner wouldnt be allowed to come.

It was a couple of weekends ago and we were having sunday lunch just generally chatting and I said to her for some reason do you regret having kids and she said yes and she doesnt want me or my sister to feel how she does.

So how am I ment to tell her now! I feel like im being bullied every day just for the actions my dad did.

I know ive been blessed with a beautiful baby to be but if I dont leave the baby is simply going to be induced by a miscarrige from the stress she puts me under, it could have possibly happened already as a MMC thats why I posted early how scared I am about Monday.

She used to hit me alot when I was growing up and still does now so I flinch every time she walks past me in an arguement.

I really don't feel that I can bring a baby into a world that I live. Its disgustingly unfair on a baby that never asked for this and deserves millions times better than this. Im going to the doctors tomorrow to see what options i have.
I dont want to turn into what my mum is because it makes me feel sick.

I feel I have no option but to either give a baby up for adoption or the A word. I know if I was to have this baby once its here my mum would report me to social services, that would be typical of her.

Sorry for anyone who thinks im a horrible person feeling this way. I love my baby so much and its only 11 and half weeks old and I feel its my life already. All I want to do it put my baby first.

xxxx

 

[LouiseB]

Only you can know your situation and it's only you that has to live with the decisions you make.

Adoption is a great option though, i know there will be thousands of amazing families that would love to offer a loving home you any child that you bring into the world

 

[midnight]

im sorry your mother is like this with you and cant imagine what it does to you on a daily basis all i can suggest is get out of there as fast and as quick as you possible can, hoW long would you have to stay in the mother and baby unit before being able to get in your flat? if its not too long id take it honestly you need to think about your own safety aswel as your baby even if you wasnt pregnant id still say get the hell out of there x

 

[mumofmany]

what about the baby's dads family would they put you both up for a bit, plus do you have their support because if looking ahead your mum does report you the social then would they stand up for you, plus its very rare they take children away from their mums, if they think there is a problem they tend to try and help, but if there wont be a problem there is nothing to wory about there, how about your nan or your dad, do you still them or not, wold they be any support at all? just tying to think of other people you can turn to because to me it sounds like you very much want this baby.

 

[Rósa]

I would take up the offer and move out? does your partner live with you and your mum? or can he stay with his parents. or can you stay with his as well? what about renting somewhere? What about telling her how you feel (that you think you are being punished for how your dad was) maybe she doesn't realise what you are feeling?
Sending you a

 

[flexilexi394]

i would advise not to make any rash decisions as i can imagine you may regret them big style. the mother and baby accomodation isnt all that bad, my friend is in one at the moment waiting to be housed, i really think you could do it. its not like youll be in there forever.
If you dont get on with the mothership then it potentially isnt a good idea to say anything just yet, my mum is quite a stern character, was always threatening if i get pregnant its straight to the docs etc, she also didnt want kids and will gladly tell people that, but when she found out i was pregnant, she actually was really great to me. i know its not the same for you maybe, but shes been really supportive and offered me to live there once baby is born.
I really hope you can sort it, but dont do anything youll regret badly. even adoption to be honest, i get the impression you want this baby and you are 11 and a half weeks which means its got a head and legs and arms and all that amazing stuff. im really sorry if what i say may sound a bit biased, but its only for the best for your sanity. and your little one.
Look into getting a hostel then being housed from there, its not the end of the world if you have to do it for a few months or however long. they usually make people like you a priority to house as they are using valuable space in their hostels, which means they house you quicker than say someone like me who lives at home with a stable environment.
Hope you sort it, just ask if you need a chat honey, x

 

[karenandbump]

Hey hon, firstly big hugs cos this sounds like an awful situation. I think some space to think would do you good and agree ^^ can u ask Father's family to put u up? x x x

 

[Preggers123]

You are the only one that can decide what is best, but can you ask the dr to be referred to counselling urgently?? That mite help??

Take care!!!
xxxxx

 

[pinkymum]

Hi hunni,
I'm so sorry about your situation! Mum and I have always had a difficult relationship with my mum. She hit me when I was younger to and I've lived on my own since I was 16. (I'm nearly 29) I tend to agree with flexilexi don't do anything you might regret later! It does sound like you really want your baby.
Hope you can get some decent support! Where does your partner stand with all of this?

Take care
X x x x

 

[ButterflySkye]

My partner is madly in love with our baby. He kisses my belly before we go to sleep and says night night. We call it "he" already. He's very supportive and even though he loves his job he is applying to better paid jobs elsewhere so hes trying so much I take my hat off to him the amount of stress he feels, just the same as me yet hes willing to give up where he works now. Hes a Letting Agent so he has quite a few contacts so were hoping we can move out that way. If no luck, because im a University student. Luckily baby is due 1 month before I finish next year, I can move into Student accom.

Im not going to let my mum bring me down anymore. Not long ago (this evening) she told me I had no heart. Its stupid little things that get to me. But my partner and I have said were going to give this baby the best upbringing possible. Not spoiling him but making sure he knows hes loved everyday.

No way am I ever going to comtemplate letting my baby go. Ive been blessed with an amazing gift which I feel I can never say thankyou enough for and its ours and ours only. I never ever regret getting pregnant. Slightly did when I was puking my guts up lol!

I have a scan on Monday being 11th so ill be 12 weeks 3 days and shit scared there will be no heart beat. Ive had no cramps, no pain, no bleeding and suffering with sore boobs and sleeping way too much lol So i still think im pregnant im 11+4 today with my beautiful baby. I hope he hangs on in there xxxxx

 

[midnight]

well done for making the 1st step hun you should be so proud of yourself and im sure you make a fantastic mum and your baby will be lucky to have you xx

 

[serenitylove]

i think you should go get some councelling and move to the mother n baby unit for your own and your childs saftly and benifit

 

[cherelle]

do you have any freids of family that you could possible stay with just for a few weeks until your flat is sorted? Failing that search onnline for short term rents maybe?

I would say i can relate a little, i had some of the same problems when i was a child and i moved out at a very young age. You shouldnt be apologising or feeling guil;ty about your feelings, this isnt your fault x

 

[excited]

Wow.

You are obviously a very brave and strong woman and it sounds as though you and your partner are going to give your bambino a very loving home. Good luck with everything - I really admire you I am almost twice your age and dont think I could ever be as strong as you are. He is going to be one lucky little boy (or girl!)

Take care x

 

[FallingStar]

Wow.

You are obviously a very brave and strong woman and it sounds as though you and your partner are going to give your bambino a very loving home. Good luck with everything - I really admire you I am almost twice your age and dont think I could ever be as strong as you are. He is going to be one lucky little boy (or girl!)

Take care x

Couldn't have put it better myself
As your partner is a Letting Agent, does he have any properties that have been empty a while? Maybe one where the owner would let you move in on month to month basis (without the usual 6month or 12 month contract?) until a permanent tenant is found?
Also, definitely explain to the housing people about the whole situation with your Mum, that she hit you and that you're afraid for your safety.. that might spur them on a bit!
If the mother and baby acommodation is the only option then please take it friend of mine was in a similar place and she was housed very quickly.
Finally, congrats on your positive frame of mind.. you are one tough cookie and that'll only be a good thing for your lovely lttle family-to be
xxx

 

[Nanc]

Don't do anything rash hun. Sounds like you and your boyfriend really want this baby. I too am twice your age, and sometimes wish I'd had kids earlier in life as you never know if it will work out for you later. I think you should seize this opportunity and make it work. You have a great boyfriend and I'm assuming are healthy, you are a student so have decent earning potential for the future, and, honestly, you sound like you'll be a great mum. You already know how not to do things (unfortunately). Having a child is for the long term, and at present you just have to get over the short term problems you have. It will be so worth it. Get on the Internet and do loads of research to find out what help you can get. Good luck and keep us all posted. Xxx