My bloke has cheated on me!!!

[Amanda & Bump]

I'm 26, a first time mum, really scared. I'm 20 wks pregnant in a few days. A couple of weeks ago i found out my bloke had cheated on me. He now really wants to try again, so do i but it's hard trying to trust him. Can't believe i still love him after what he's done. We found out i was pregnant early in the relationship and it's freaked both of us out, but i would never even consider getting rid of this child or any other option but to deal with it. I will be a great mum when it's born, but i really want us to be a family. To be fair he is trying now, suppose that has to count for something. We aren't living together yet and that makes things harder cos if i'm not with him, i don't know where he is. Last night, he told me i was going for a drink with the boys, and i flipped. He even told me i could drive down there but to be honest i'd drove an hour back from work and didn't wanna drive another hour to his mum's just so i could wait for him to come back. Is anyone else going through this or is anyone able to give me any reassurance please??
Thankyou
Lots of Love Amanda & Bump
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[nicki]

Hi Amanda,

How you doing hun? I'm sorry to hear you're having troubles with your man. I've had men cheat on me before but i haven't been pregnant at the time and now i'm lucky enough to have a hubby that wouldn't dream of it (well, not that I know of anyway ) so I don't know exactly how you're feeling i'm afraid.

How long were you together b4 you got preggers? How was your relationship then? Has he told you why he cheated on you & did he actually tell you or did someone else? sorry to ask so many questions.

It's quite difficult to comment on it without knowing all the details but I guess if he's making an effort now it's better than him not bothering at all. It will take time for you to trust him again and he's going to have to respect that and the fact that you want to know what he's doing, where he's going etc he shouldn't get funny about you asking questions and if he does love you he will understand your insecurities.

Are you looking for a place together or will you be? If you did move in together it may make the bond between you stronger and you'll be able to start trusting him again as you'll know where he is most of the time, however if he is a bit worried about committment (is he?) then it may not be the best thing to do at the mo. Have you talked about his?

As long as you know you'll be a great mum with or without him then you'll be fine and will manage and you're half way there, also if he knows this he won't be able to take you for granted and hopefully you'll have the upperhand.

It's quite difficult to write everything down that's in my head and for it to make sense. If you want to PM me please do and i'll give you my email address, i've got quite alot of experience with cheating men ( cheating on me and on friends and friends cheating on their other halves!!! it's like Eastenders! ) so if you need to talk i'm here, sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers about things like this!

Take care hun and don't let them get you down.

Nicki.xx

 

[SarahB]

Hi Amanda, I'm not going through anything like this but just wanted to say that I am thinking about you and hope that things will work out for you. Sending you a big hug ((())))

Love Sarah xx

 

[Amanda & Bump]

Hi Amanda, I'm not going through anything like this but just wanted to say that I am thinking about you and hope that things will work out for you. Sending you a big hug ((())))

Love Sarah xx

Thankyou so much Sarah, need a big hug today. Got sent home from work early. I've just cried all day. Got the scan on wed next week, he wanted to go, i wanted him there, but now i'm not sure. I'm so confused!! Hope you and your baby are well and thankyou so much again xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Amanda & Bump]

Hi Amanda,

How you doing hun? I'm sorry to hear you're having troubles with your man. I've had men cheat on me before but i haven't been pregnant at the time and now i'm lucky enough to have a hubby that wouldn't dream of it (well, not that I know of anyway ) so I don't know exactly how you're feeling i'm afraid.

How long were you together b4 you got preggers? How was your relationship then? Has he told you why he cheated on you & did he actually tell you or did someone else? sorry to ask so many questions.

It's quite difficult to comment on it without knowing all the details but I guess if he's making an effort now it's better than him not bothering at all. It will take time for you to trust him again and he's going to have to respect that and the fact that you want to know what he's doing, where he's going etc he shouldn't get funny about you asking questions and if he does love you he will understand your insecurities.

Are you looking for a place together or will you be? If you did move in together it may make the bond between you stronger and you'll be able to start trusting him again as you'll know where he is most of the time, however if he is a bit worried about committment (is he?) then it may not be the best thing to do at the mo. Have you talked about his?
As long as you know you'll be a great mum with or without him then you'll be fine and will manage and you're half way there, also if he knows this he won't be able to take you for granted and hopefully you'll have the upperhand.

It's quite difficult to write everything down that's in my head and for it to make sense. If you want to PM me please do and i'll give you my email address, i've got quite alot of experience with cheating men ( cheating on me and on friends and friends cheating on their other halves!!! it's like Eastenders! ) so if you need to talk i'm here, sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers about things like this!

Take care hun and don't let them get you down.

Nicki.xx

Hi, glad everything is well for you. Having a bad day today, got sent home from work abit earlier...spent the whole day crying my eyes out!! Anyway we were totally loved up literally until i found out i was pregnant, then everything started going down hill, he asked for space, which i gave him, and he slept with someone else, she knew about me and the baby but i don't know her. His sister told me when she found out. We are having major probs again cos he went to pub other night and i wasn't happy about it, saw him last night and his brother in law told me he was going out with him tonight, so it really annoyed me and ruined the night. He obviously doesn't understand cos it's not even been a week and now he's saying he doesn't know how it'll work....ever!! His sis bought a house to do up and was gonna let us live there (which is an hour away from where i live now), don't think that'll be happening now. I think he's scared about us having this baby and seems to be scared of commitment. I'm so scared about being a mum without him, i don't wanna do it on my own. Stupidly still love him, but as hurt as i am i can't switch my emotions off. I would never get rid of my baby, never even considered it but feel guilty for not being excited about it, or bonding etc, being upset all the time, not eating properly etc. Your e-mail was really nice and i really appreciate yyou taking the time to write so much.
Not sure what pm is tho hun?? I'm still new to this.
Take care, hope to hear from you soon
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Amanda & Bump]

Hi Amanda,

How you doing hun? I'm sorry to hear you're having troubles with your man. I've had men cheat on me before but i haven't been pregnant at the time and now i'm lucky enough to have a hubby that wouldn't dream of it (well, not that I know of anyway ) so I don't know exactly how you're feeling i'm afraid.

How long were you together b4 you got preggers? How was your relationship then? Has he told you why he cheated on you & did he actually tell you or did someone else? sorry to ask so many questions.

It's quite difficult to comment on it without knowing all the details but I guess if he's making an effort now it's better than him not bothering at all. It will take time for you to trust him again and he's going to have to respect that and the fact that you want to know what he's doing, where he's going etc he shouldn't get funny about you asking questions and if he does love you he will understand your insecurities.

Are you looking for a place together or will you be? If you did move in together it may make the bond between you stronger and you'll be able to start trusting him again as you'll know where he is most of the time, however if he is a bit worried about committment (is he?) then it may not be the best thing to do at the mo. Have you talked about his?
As long as you know you'll be a great mum with or without him then you'll be fine and will manage and you're half way there, also if he knows this he won't be able to take you for granted and hopefully you'll have the upperhand.

It's quite difficult to write everything down that's in my head and for it to make sense. If you want to PM me please do and i'll give you my email address, i've got quite alot of experience with cheating men ( cheating on me and on friends and friends cheating on their other halves!!! it's like Eastenders! ) so if you need to talk i'm here, sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers about things like this!

Take care hun and don't let them get you down.

Nicki.xx

Hi, glad everything is well for you. Having a bad day today, got sent home from work abit earlier...spent the whole day crying my eyes out!! Anyway we were totally loved up literally until i found out i was pregnant, then everything started going down hill, he asked for space, which i gave him, and he slept with someone else, she knew about me and the baby but i don't know her. His sister told me when she found out. We are having major probs again cos he went to pub other night and i wasn't happy about it, saw him last night and his brother in law told me he was going out with him tonight, so it really annoyed me and ruined the night. He obviously doesn't understand cos it's not even been a week and now he's saying he doesn't know how it'll work....ever!! His sis bought a house to do up and was gonna let us live there (which is an hour away from where i live now), don't think that'll be happening now. I think he's scared about us having this baby and seems to be scared of commitment. I'm so scared about being a mum without him, i don't wanna do it on my own. Stupidly still love him, but as hurt as i am i can't switch my emotions off. I would never get rid of my baby, never even considered it but feel guilty for not being excited about it, or bonding etc, being upset all the time, not eating properly etc. Your e-mail was really nice and i really appreciate yyou taking the time to write so much.
Not sure what pm is tho hun?? I'm still new to this.
Take care, hope to hear from you soon
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[nicki]

Hi Amanda,

Sorry to hear you had a bad day, it's rough but is also good to have a bloody good sob and it sounds like your company are a nice bunch, if my head was hanging off my work wouldn't send me home!!
Sorry babe but gonna make this post a short one as my blooming headache is back and it feels like i've got an axe buried in it at the mo. & it hurts to look at the screen but I will write to you tomorrow.

PM means a private message, it's the little icon at the bottom of each post and it just means you can send a message that no one else see's, a bit like a private email, you just click on the icon, type your message and it would send me an e-mail telling me you have PM'd me (if that makes sense!)

Hope your night is better than your day.

Nicki.xxx

 

[twinkle]

Hi Amanda,

Im 28 and due my 1st and my partner of 3 years has cheated on me so I know what your going through and its pure hell I had to be signed of work for 4 weeks as I couldn't eat or sleep and was crying 24/7, we have split up but Im still devastated I just can't beleive he could have done that.

If you need to chat private message me anytime as I know what your going through!

Take care x

 

[Tara & Liam]

Hi

I have been where you are. I split from my child's father because not only did he cheat on me, but he married somebody else, so i suppose technically he was cheating on her, but i never knew anything about it, as he lived quite far from me.

i was also scared to raise my child by myself. Those fears went the second that i held Kieran. I raised him on my own for five years and two months and then i met Jon, who is now my hubby, we have another boy called Joshua and one on the way.

what i am trying to say, that you will be fine if you decide to raise your baby on your own. dont take him back unless you are confident that he wont cheat. i mean look at Wayne Rooney and Colleen, you dont want to end up like her.

at the end of the day the decision is yours. Just try putting yourself and your baby first and do whats important to you hun.

x

 

[Amanda & Bump]

wow sorry i never read that reply, didn't know i had it. Thanks for that. i'm sure there's decent men out there somewhere and one day i will be lucky enough to meet one, or father of baby will sort his head out properly...cos he changes his mind every fortnight or so.
anyway thankyou for the inspiration honey, not long till your c-section now, hope all goes well if i don't speak to you before.
xx