My 2 year old rejects my hubby!! It's so hurtful for him...

[Julia]

Hi Mums,

My two year old little girl rejects my hubby alot of the time...in the mornings, before he goes to work, she has a really small cuddle with him and then pushes him away saying "leave me alone!". When he comes home from work she runs to him for a cuddle and makes a big fuss of him and then, again, screams "no, leave me alone!". Even if he speaks to her sometimes like "are you enjoying your yoghurt?" she moans and grumbles and pushes the yoghurt away.

I work also and she is not like it with me, so it can't be the fact that he leaves or work or anything...we just do not know what to do - he is really hurt by it. He takes her swimming and buys her little treats every so often, which she loves, but then she rejects him again.

The only thing I can think of is the fact that I do everything for her - put her to bed, make her dinner, get her dressed, bath her etc....she only does the fun things with him (this is my fault because I have been over-protective with her).

I have another baby due in 8 weeks and want to sort i out before the new baby arrrives..

Anyone else in the same position? Or anyone with any advice? Is it a common problem?

Julia xxxxx

 

[mamichuli]

Aww, i just wanted to give you these I am afraid i have no advice, but i sympathise.
My daughter rejected my ex at that age, but it was because he was/is an alcoholic and she was scared of him, particularly when he was drunk. From what you say, your OH is a normal civilised human being, so i cant think of anything.

Sorry i am so useless,

Lisa

 

[Julia]

Thanks for your reply, Lisa.

Thanks for the support...it is nice to know that people listen and respond in such a positive way...even though you have no advice, I really appreciate your reply and kind words and hugs!!

It is probably just a faze she is going through.... I am sure it is because I do everything for her. I think she also needs to see Mummy and Daddy showing affection to each other also - we are always rushing around that we seem never have time (or are too tired) for group hugs!! Being preggers also does not help!!

I really appreciate your support!

Julia xxxx

 

[Becky]

It's not exactly the same but I find that Lucy speaks to her dad in a poor way a lot of the time - it's not so much waht she says as the tone of voice and sttitude she uses. Now I know she loves her dad to bits but I think it's because he's a pushover. She'll be sitting on the settee and say "I want my drink" which is on the coffee table in front of her and he will stupidly pass the drink.

I've started telling them both that the behaviour is not acceptable and that Lucy should pick the cup up herself (ideally) or ask nicely for it. I tell my OH that if she speaks to him like that he should tell her that until she can remember he manners he's not going to talk to her.

Now I don't know why she isn't as bad with me except that maybe I don't tolerate it so much and am quicker to discipline than my OH (finger and wrapped doesn't come close!! )

My only suggestion is that you do get your OH more involved in bed time etc. maybe get him to read her a bed time story or something but also it's important that you both tell your little girl that it isn't nice to talk like that (to anyone!) and you don't want to hear her speaking like that again.

I do think it's partly a phase they go through, another boundary to push but I think you just have to be firm.

I hope things settle for you soon!

 

[Julia]

Thanks Becky,

He took her swimming tonight and they got on really well in the pool! He also bought her a new book which he read to her before bedtime, which seemed to also have a positive effect. She would not let him tuck her in though so I did that and then he came in to say "goodnight". Again....worked really well.

I think it simply means he needs to spend more time with her on his own. When I have had the baby I will begin my social life again so I will be going out once a week and leaving them alone together - this should do them good. It has suddenly dawned on me that I have not really been out in the evenings on my own for 8 months so I have been with my daughter constantly! (This has not helped)...

Julia xxxxx

 

[lfc_sarah]

I hope its just a phase and she stops hun

 

[lauramumof2]

I think you need to do less for her (let him take over some standard things) and for you to do more with her like the treats.
Even up the balance. I know that if people work certain shifts that that is tricky but it could be the root of the problem.

Joe is like that, he is a mummys boy but sometimes I need to take a step back and let stuart step in even though its something I would usually do.

There other night he woke up crying for daddy. Result!